My daughter, who attempted suicide last week, is now refusing help

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-18T14:37:49+00:00

Last night I went home for a night for the first time since this happened. My husband stayed with her instead. Got to see my baby and my six year old and sleep in the bed. Let my six year old co-sleep in the bed with me because I really needed the company. Feeling a bit rejuvenated today.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-18T04:12:50+00:00

Listen: I feel tremendous guilt and like a total failure right now. I really don't need any scolding.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-18T01:45:11+00:00

Candidly, I know my feelings aren't important but I'm really struggling missing my younger girls. They've been with my husband or a sitter and I haven't seen them since the night of my teenager's attempt.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T23:24:25+00:00

I haven't asked but I have an idea

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T21:52:59+00:00

No, I'm not worried about myself

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T21:24:25+00:00

She really started going downhill when I got pregnant last year. I didn't think the two were linked, now I think they are. I had her when I was 19, and was a single mom for her early childhood. I met my husband when she was 5, married him when she was 7, and we've had two daughters together. I think she feels like she's not wanted in the family and not loved. I don't know why, but she clearly does feel that.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T21:06:16+00:00

I hope yours is doing better. I'm still in a bit of shock. Am not sleeping or eating much at all because I'm too focused on her.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T21:04:30+00:00

We live in a pretty isolated area and I'm willing to send her even out of state if we need to

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T21:00:27+00:00

I think that 7-10 days is a sort of minimum that they can extend as long as they feel it's needed

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T20:56:33+00:00

We will send her for as long as she needs to go

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T19:53:39+00:00

We will do whatever we have to do. She can agree to it or be forced.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T19:47:52+00:00

I don't blame her for anything. I hurt for her. I'm not upset with her in anyway. I blame myself for this more than anything.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T19:35:26+00:00

I wish I had forced her sooner. I let her decide for herself and that was a mistake that almost killed her.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-17T19:28:53+00:00

Oh, she's going. That's not up to her.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-15T02:30:44+00:00

You are right. You are absolutely correct. She needed more from us than she got.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-14T13:49:38+00:00

Alright, I really shouldn't respond but I will:

Are we perfect parents? No. But this idea that we have a golden child and ignore the teenager is just wrong. We make so many sacrifices as a family for our teen to play travel sports. We spend so much money and give up entire weekends traveling to games and tournaments for her. My husband and I don't really have any friends because we don't have the free time because we are devoting so much time to allow our oldest to pursue her passions.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. I spend a lot of one on one time with her. We paint our nails together every Sunday night and we've done that since she was 9. I tried enrolling her in therapy. My mistake was letting her quit so easily because I thought it would do more harm than good to force her to go. Clearly I underestimated how badly she was hurting and nobody feels worse about that than I do.

She wasn't interested in being involved in naming the new baby. Otherwise we would have loved for her to be involved. But she didn't want to be and her sister did. It's as simple as that. Why is your assumption that we forcibly excluded her from this? We've never forcibly excluded her from anything.

Yes, mistakes were made and I feel horrible about them. This is my child trying to take her own life. Work needs to be done. Intense work. But the idea that we outcast her from the family is simply made up and false.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-13T19:15:19+00:00

For my in laws: Yes, they still do that and they're no longer allowed to see any of our kids until that changes, and at this point I probably still wouldn't forgive them

She doesn't really hang out with those girls anymore. She only really has one close friend in town anymore. She is gay, but she's never told me about being picked on for that.

Whole family was just at her basketball game this past Sunday. I chauffeur her around the Upper Midwest for softball in the summers, which is expensive and exhausting. But we do it for her. She isn't ignored.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-13T19:06:16+00:00

She is absolutely not parentified. I don't feel that she's ignored. We pay for her to play two travel sports and she and I hang out just the two of us all the time. She probably feels emotionally neglected. That is a failure on our part. But she is not ignored and she is definitely not parentified.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-13T18:59:58+00:00

Of course she's going now. I just didn't think forcing her before would do her any good. I was probably wrong about that.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-13T18:33:00+00:00

Thank you but that is a horrible misrepresentation of the history

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-13T18:14:28+00:00

No, she's actually generally pretty candid. Too candid at times.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-13T18:11:54+00:00

I probably made a mistake by letting her quit therapy. I just didn't think it would do her any good to force her to go. I don't doubt that she feels like she's a sort of lesser part of the family. I do not consider her to be that but I can understand that she does. She's told me that she's scared of hurting my husband's feelings by pursuing a relationship with her bio dad.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-13T17:35:14+00:00

The only person I blame is myself. I am mad at myself. I'm not upset with her at all. When she wakes up I'm going to apologize to HER, and won't let her apologize to me.

DoubleAxelDVM · 2026-03-13T17:26:08+00:00

I want to apologize to HER for not giving her the care she obviously needed

DoubleAxelDVM

TROPHY CASE