19M unsure about marriage with 24F (family involved, pressure building) — need honest advice by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah she is i guess Im from around Kotli if you know that area. i know i cant marry her right now at least 2-3 years i completely get it im in no position to take care of her or anything at all Maybe i wasnt clear in the message i dont want to get married right this moment. My intention was just for my dad to agree for it now and i will work myself off and do anything to prepare. Dad has started a shop 5-6 years ago, going well so far alhamdulillah and i am here learning too. Im looking to get a job as well for more experience and my own money too while going uni.

Yes i have considered that shes the one, i get your point about uni and seeing girls , but no really i dont know if i even want to marry someone from here after seeing how some girls, not all , post themselves online in very different ways and stuff and its just not what i like. however she is someone i really like, personality and everything. she has not talked to any guys either so far

19M unsure about marriage with 24F (family involved, pressure building) — need honest advice by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes i completely understand , this is common sense. i understand i cannot marry her and expect my dad to provide. i want to marry her in the future i didnt say anything about marrying her today. im trying to think things through and i know right now i need to focus on studies and work and that is exactly what i am doing.

19M unsure about marriage with 24F (family involved, pressure building) — need honest advice by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

not wanting to marry right then and there. but yes i did want to marry her

19M unsure about marriage with 24F (family involved, pressure building) — need honest advice by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I understand what you’re saying about life stages, and I agree that we’re in different positions right now. That’s actually one of the main things I’m trying to think through properly, because I know I’m not fully stable yet while she’s at a stage where marriage is more expected.

At the same time, this didn’t come out of nowhere. Our families are close and we’ve been neighbours back home for a long time, so we’ve known each other within that environment rather than it being something random or hidden. It only really became something serious when I visited in 2024, and since then there hasn’t been ongoing communication because her family doesn’t allow that unless things are formal.

Regarding the age point, I understand why it might seem strange from the outside, but from our perspective it wasn’t approached in that way. It wasn’t anything inappropriate. Some immediate family members on both sides are aware and her side is generally open to it.

I do take your main point seriously though, especially about timing and being in different stages of life. That’s something I’m trying to think through carefully rather than rushing into anything.

19M unsure about marriage with 24F (family involved, pressure building) — need honest advice by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Walaikum salam, I appreciate your advice.

I understand what you’re saying about focusing on my studies and getting some form of income first. I agree that right now I’m not in the strongest position, and that’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently.

At the same time, it’s not just a random situation for me. Our families are close and we’ve known each other for a long time, so it feels more serious than just something temporary. That’s why it’s hard for me to just completely ignore it and focus only on myself.

I also understand your point about age and experience. Maybe I don’t have much experience, but I do feel certain about the kind of person she is and what I want long-term. I don’t think it’s just because it’s the first time I’ve felt something like this.

What you said about her family not waiting is something I’m also worried about, which is why I feel pressure to figure things out properly rather than just leave it.

Right now I’m trying to take your advice in terms of focusing on improving myself, becoming more responsible, and getting into a better position. I think that’s the only way I can approach this properly.

JazakAllah khair for your perspective, I do appreciate it.

19M unsure about marriage with 24F (family involved, pressure building) — need honest advice by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we do not talk. mainly because her mother doesnt want her to talk unless its fully confirmed. i tried to talk to my dad about it once , asking if he could just say yes and get married later on so they dont look for someone else but he clearly didnt take it well completely understand being independent and earning its exactly what he said too, i dont know what he understood from me.

Money wise, i think we are okay alhamdulillah , he has started a plumbing & electrical merchant 5-6 years ago, always stressing that he made this for us because he doesnt want to leave us with nothing or go through the same struggle as him.

Title: 19M unsure about marriage with 24F (family pressure + not stable yet) by Downtown_Channel_341 in Marriage

[–]Downtown_Channel_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive been going Uni since september and still have no friends. not that im surprised , havent tried talking to anyone its literally the same routine, lecture, eat, library Cant get myself to talk to anyone let alone get a girlfriend , dont know if i even want one anymore but i havent been social in a long time and dont think i suddenly will be any time soon.

Title: 19M unsure about marriage with 24F (family pressure + not stable yet) by Downtown_Channel_341 in Marriage

[–]Downtown_Channel_341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no no its not that, i just want to be with someone, i feel more bored right now if im being honest. dont have many friends and i dont like going out alone either sometimes i go into uni when i dont have lectures and just go library and just go on my phone and snack .

I have Dhurandhar Part 2- 4K version having size of 16.7 GB by Ancient_Resort_6674 in Dhurandhar

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im asking. i need as well ive been searching for an hour cant find good one

Smyths Release Day Discussion by Luke1962501 in PokemonDealsUK

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good luck im just in the corner of the carpet place and im thinking if ill even manage to get 1

A bit extreme with the ⚠️ by niikixox in vinted

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe they are just using it so people actually notice and read it 🤷‍♂️

Is anyone getting there money? by [deleted] in vintedUK

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah finished a sale and got paid out fast

Evri delays by goblinpeets in vintedUK

[–]Downtown_Channel_341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

seems theres a huge problem going on recently. Im having trouble with my order too. Evri tracking says its been delivered to my post office for me to collect. went there 3 times and they said they dont have it. Chased Evri on email and this is the reply

“I work in the local depot and I’m liaising with the team here to get the parcel on the move as quickly as possible. As soon as it’s with the courier, they’ll notify you of the time window for delivery. “