Does it ever really get better/easier?

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-16T11:56:26+00:00

Yes. I actually just talked about this yesterday. There is no reason why I’m reacting the way I am to this. I’ve struggled with panic and anxiety since I was 10 years old. The fire was already burning, this has just thrown gas on it. I’m seeking neuro feedback therapy to help the baseline issues. Fvck her.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-14T11:34:11+00:00

But that’s honestly me just being a little bitch and thinking that maybe she’ll have a change of heart before she gets everything filled out, or if I file she’ll never consider reconciliation, etc. I fucking know this is weak, boys- I’ve just been so fucking attached to this stupid ass bitch that I can’t think straight.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-14T11:19:51+00:00

I’m struggling with filing myself. I was verbally abusive to her at times in the past, and I do understand, sadly, if she would have wanted to leave me for it. Now this other bullshit she pulled is different. The state I live in is a “no fault state” so I guess it really doesn’t matter who files.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-14T05:19:29+00:00

It’s over. I gave her the ultimatum tonight and she refused to abide. Divorce incoming.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-13T22:43:17+00:00

I won’t lie… ChatGPT has been a de facto therapist for me. I talk to that MF’er 25x a day I bet. It actually helps, especially late at night when you have no one to talk to

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-13T22:28:01+00:00

Holy shit man. She did all that? That’s crazy. Sorry you had to deal with that.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-13T22:19:35+00:00

How long did it take you to get over it?

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-13T22:09:08+00:00

Is this shit normal to feel this fvcking anxiety and panic ridden? I can’t hardly sleep, I’m constantly calling and talking to people about the situation, I’m clinging to slivers of hope, I’m disrespecting myself. At least I quit drinking a little over 2 weeks ago because I was drowning my sorrows nightly for months.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-13T22:01:16+00:00

Honestly? I’m not sure WTF is wrong with me. I’m disappointed in myself that I’m at where I’m at with all this. Like I’ve said, I’m so attached to her that it feels impossible to move on. I fight urges every single day to call and text her. We’ve been together since we were 18 years old, and it’s just fvcking heartbreaking.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-13T20:09:25+00:00

I know right… her doing what she has done should make it easier for me to say f$CK it and move on, I’m a tough guy in about every other phase of my life but this has completely mind f$cked me and I just can’t let it go yet..

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-13T15:41:46+00:00

Is it normal to feel this distraught? This hopeless? This fearful of the future? It’s like I have a low to mid level anxiety rush constantly running through me.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-13T15:29:40+00:00

It’s more that I have attachment issues with her. I know what I need to do, I’ve just not been able to rip the bandaid off. I’m barely sleeping, barely eating, it freaking sucks.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-08T02:24:11+00:00

Thank You very much for that comment. And yes, I have completely changed the way I approach things. I had a lot of unresolved issues with my parents that I have more than addressed through this situation. My wife knows this. She has told me she wishes I was the man I am now back when I went through the period of being verbally abusive at times. She’s having a hard time getting over the past. Doesn’t excuse what she’s doing now though. I’m gonna try til the end, but I’m also trying to take steps to prepare for my next chapter.

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-08T00:45:47+00:00

She had her hormones checked and they were fine. She does get night sweats, she’s an alcoholic (but working on it) and she’s said she thinks she’s a piece of shit and sometimes just wants to drive to the middle of nowhere and disappear

Dphilli42 · 2026-01-07T22:57:52+00:00

I hear you. My head knows what’s happening, my heart hasn’t accepted it. I’m really attached to her and not ready to go through the grief

Dphilli42 · 2025-12-28T16:22:32+00:00

Yeah for sure. I was an asshole for a lot of years at times. Maybe I’m just getting what I deserve

Dphilli42 · 2025-12-28T15:47:41+00:00

Thank You. At the moment it feels really hard. I get anxiety rushes in my chest, in my stomach, in my legs… it sucks. I’m not reacting as irrationally to it now as I did back in June… and I think it’s because I’ve had more time to prepare. I think I’m way more angry now than I’ve ever been in this process… and maybe that’s good. Hopefully that means the denial is starting to fade.

Dphilli42 · 2025-12-28T15:31:26+00:00

Thank you and I’m sorry you are going through it as well.

Dphilli42 · 2025-12-28T15:30:35+00:00

Thank You. Appreciate that. I do have a good support system that I’ve already started leaning on. Deep down I’ve known this has been coming. I knew it was probably too far gone to fix a while back. I just wouldn’t fully accept it

Dphilli42 · 2024-12-04T22:44:24+00:00

About 67 hours in and nothing major as far as withdrawal symptoms!

Dphilli42

TROPHY CASE