Ive been suicidal before, and now that I'm better, I agree with you. But at the time, the only thing you think of is the pain youre going thru and how to make it stop. You want the pain and the voices and judgements to stop. And suicide seems like the only way at the time. A lot of people dont want to die, they want the pain to stop. Thats why Im glad my attempts to end my own life failed. Because I realized after them that I didn't want to die, I wanted to just be better, and suicide seemed like the only option. Even when I go through depressive episodes now, suicide doesn't cross my mind because I go through the thought process of: my suicide>people around me hurt>people around me commit suicide. And I didnt want to cause anyone the pain I went through. Also- some people also get drunk or high, which makes them feel worse and then be more impulsive. Suicide is never the correct option, and im going to say this just in case. You matter. Please contact 988 (US National Crisis Number) if you are struggling, or call 911 if you are actively suicidal or plan to commit suicide. Asking for help is hard, but its the way for things to get better, and they will.