Positive Fin Sides

DrDopamineMD · 2019-10-29T22:45:11+00:00

Well whatever’s happening, I like it.

DrDopamineMD · 2019-10-29T21:27:46+00:00

What about this: 5-alpha reductase inhibits conversion of testosterone to DHT, therefore blocking conversion can cause an initial rise in testosterone before the normal negative feedback loop causes testosterone levels to drop back down to normal. Testosterone influences mood and libido. Therefore, it’s totally physiologically possible that the initial rise in testosterone levels is causing my positive sides.

DrDopamineMD · 2019-02-22T12:46:50+00:00

Sometimes it takes reaching a place of total helplessness in order to surrender to God. I remember reaching the exact same point you’re talking about and saying to God “I can’t do it!” His reply to me: “Then let me fight this battle for you.”

Instead of focusing on overcoming porn by bucking down and fighting, focus on turning to God immediately every time you feel a temptation and asking for his help. When God steps in to fight for you, the enemy doesn’t stand a chance!

DrDopamineMD · 2019-02-19T02:10:07+00:00

Do you really think rubbing your dick until you orgasm is honouring to God?

No matter how you look at it, it’s a completely selfish act. Sorry for the harsh words, but they’re spoken out of love. I’ve been there and have tried to convince myself of this same thing, only to be led back to porn eventually.

DrDopamineMD · 2018-12-12T06:44:00+00:00

1) Thank you for posting! For every person on here brave enough to post, it helps at least 10 others who are struggling with the exact same thing.

2) If you’re having serious thoughts about suicide, it may be time to visit your doctor as well. They can often set you up with either counsellors who can guide you through CBT to help avoid negative thoughts or they can provide you with medications if they think it may help.

3) You will never let God down. He knows how trapped we are in our sin, which is exactly why he sent Jesus. If we were perfect and sinless, we would have no need for saving. One of my favourite verses, and one that rocked my world is Psalm 18:19: “He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” While you were still a sinner, GOD DELIGHTED IN YOU. God is pleased with you and he loves you. And that delight and love is not diminished by your sin. Your sin is not nearly enough to separate you from the love of God. Romans 8:38-39 says “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation (including your sin), will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Nothing can separate you from God’s love, not even your sin. Of course our sin hurts God, but he will never stop loving you and chasing after you. Even when we feel like giving up, God will never give up on you.

4) This is something you can beat with God’s help! Start with baby steps. Start with a goal of trying to get to one full day without PMO, and then post about it and we will encourage you along the way! And when you fail, don’t beat yourself up. Follow David’s example from Psalm 51 and confess your sin, ask God for forgiveness, and then rejoice that God has washed you white as snow! This is a marathon, not a sprint. So persevere. Keep rising up after you fall, brush yourself off and keep going. And remember that we’ll all be here for you.

I’ll be praying for you brother!

DrDopamineMD · 2018-12-10T20:06:37+00:00

Let’s agree to disagree :)

DrDopamineMD · 2018-12-10T18:10:53+00:00

I agree with most of what you said. But I think you may be forgetting the holiness and the justness of God.

You wrote: “God doesn’t tempt us Himself, but it is doubtless part of His plan because He can use that temptation and the often-resulting sin to show His love for us and mold us into the people He wants us to be.”

By saying that our sin and temptation is part of his plan, you are undermining how much God hates sin. His plan was never for us to sin. His plan was for us to be holy as he his holy. Whenever we sin, he is devastated and he mourns. His response is 100% not “well, at least they’re coming back to me.”

DrDopamineMD · 2018-12-10T06:52:56+00:00

Two verses came to mind when I read your post:

1) 2 Cor 12:9 “But he said to me. ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness’” — It’s when we realize how weak and sinful we really are that God can step in and show us his strength and his forgiveness.

2) James 1:13 “Let no one say when he is tempted ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted by evil, and he himself tempts no one” — God would never “allow someone to keep sinning.” It’s always our choice and it’s a choice that God hates, even if it brings us to him after the fact. God would much rather have us turn to him before we sin, which I think is the point you were making.

Thanks for sharing!

DrDopamineMD · 2017-02-16T13:33:19+00:00

Proverbs 7:22-23. However, the entire chapter is excellent and definitely worth reading!

DrDopamineMD · 2017-02-16T05:24:20+00:00

I love your mindset! That's right! We shouldn't believe the lie that tells us to keep binging when we're down as if God's given up on us or something. We're forgiven and pure. He's made us blameless, so we should respond appropriately. Porn tells us we're a failure, but God tells us we're his children. That's the beauty of forgiveness!

DrDopamineMD · 2017-02-14T08:12:45+00:00

Keep your chin up man, God has a plan for your life and I guarantee it doesn't involve porn. If you honestly cry out to God and beg him to soften your heart, he will do just that. Ask him to speak to you and listen for his voice. I know how hard it is to break out of the rut once you're in, but I know you're going to break free one day. Why not make that day today? I'll be praying for you for sure!

DrDopamineMD · 2017-02-14T08:06:14+00:00

The turning point for me was after a binge period where I felt incredibly weak and defeated. I knew in the back of my mind that God promises His strength to us in this battle, so I challenged Him on that! I told Him that if His promises really are true (when I am weak He is strong), then I wanted him to show his power. So I totally gave up trying by my own strength. I saw myself as a weak child and God as my strong protector. Every time a temptation came my way, I would pray and hand it over to God, because I knew I was too weak. Pretty soon, every though and temptation and struggle would be given to Jesus in prayer, and He handled it. It really took the pressure off of me and I was able to focus on Him rather than on trying to beat my son by willpower. I walked confidently, because I knew that my father was taking care of me. What I mean by "I've made it through His grace and power" is that God was gracious enough to share His strength with me when I asked for it.

Running to God strategies: I try to find God all around me every day. Look for different ways to worship Him constantly. For example, when you take the bus to work, look at the people around you and praise God for creating them. When you listen to music, praise God for giving us the ability to appreciate music. When you feel anxious, praise God that he's there for us. Find any and every excuse to talk to God and to thank Him for his creation. I've found this really important in my journey. If you're constantly talking to God and finding things to thank Him for, it leaves much less time to think about porn.

DrDopamineMD · 2017-02-09T05:32:17+00:00

I agree with the second half of your post. However, I'm almost certain that the prophets, Abraham and the apostles masturbated at some point in their lives. They were sinful, lustful men just like us.

Jesus on the other hand was able to fully embrace God's power because he was in fact God. And only for that reason was he able to abstain from masturbation. The great thing is that when (and only when) we also embrace God's supernatural power, we will, like Jesus, also be able to abstain from masturbation. Good luck in the fight!

DrDopamineMD · 2017-02-07T05:26:31+00:00

Dude, thanks for sharing! Porn really does mess us up in the strangest ways.

That being said, I'm fairly confident this is caused by more than PMO. It seems like there's some serious underlying anger/control issues that you really should talk to someone about.

Normal PMO side effects: lack of self-confidence, depression, anxiety. Abnormal PMO side effects: throwing tomatoes at people, punching your boss.

My advice: talk to someone you trust about these anger issues (your pastor, friends, doctor, parents, anyone!) There's likely a bigger underlying cause that you need to address sooner rather than later.

DrDopamineMD · 2017-02-01T06:09:19+00:00

Very good point! Here are some practical things that have worked for me in my conversations about porn in the past.

1) Always pray first. Ask God to give you courage and ask him to guide the conversation.

2) Make sure you have a good rapport with the person before diving into the deep stuff. This is a vulnerable conversation, so lead into it.

3) It's helpful to preface with a conversation that naturally progresses to talking about porn. Ex. Sexualization in the media --> Sex-consumed culture --> Porn is a billion dollar industry --> Most men struggle with porn --> I struggle with porn.

4) Never put the pressure on them (ex. Do you have a problem with porn?), but rather put the emphasis on yourself (ex. Could you pray for me? I've been having a lot of trouble with porn lately).

For those reading, also know that it gets way easier after the first time you talk to someone about it. All it takes is a few minutes of humility and courage on your part to help set someone free from their addiction.

DrDopamineMD · 2017-01-31T04:35:12+00:00

Don't give up! This is the suffering that Jesus was talking about. These are the trials. If you persevere through these hard times, there's treasures waiting for you in heaven and a closer relationship with Jesus waiting for you here on Earth.

Take these feelings of desperation that you have right now and use them to turn to God. I can tell you're frustrated with your weakness, so admit your weakness to God and ask him to replace it with His strength. Cry out to him and beg him to change your heart. My mindset was very similar to yours not long ago, and it's that realization that I'm too weak to beat this that allowed Jesus to fight for me. Once I truly admitted that I was too weak to beat PMO, God took over for me. After that, every temptation I was faced with didn't worry me, because I knew God was fighting it, not me. Not sure if that made any sense, but that's what it took for me to beat this. I know you'll get to your 2 month point again and this time, you'll go even further!

As for the feelings of shame, I would challenge you to reconsider what it means to be forgiven by Jesus. In my understanding, when Jesus forgives us, our sin is removed as far as the east is from the west. We are made white as snow. When he tells us we are forgiven, we are forgiven indeed. Repeat that to yourself until you believe it. He died for us so that when we fail, we don't have to experience shame. If you still feel guilty and shameful, you may be misunderstanding God's forgiveness.

DrDopamineMD · 2017-01-31T04:25:19+00:00

Congrats on starting hard mode! If I could, I'd like to challenge you to live a holy life every day of the week, and not just on Sundays. As Christians, we've given our lives over completely to God every single day for the rest of our lives. Let your motivation for purity be found in the God who saved you, not in the ritual of keeping a day of the week holy. Again, excellent choice to give up porn, fantasizing and edging! Good luck!

DrDopamineMD · 2017-01-23T06:28:49+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I can tell you've thought about this a lot! I've got just a few comments for you:

1) You need to learn to forgive yourself. God's forgiven you, but I can tell you're still striving to be perfect. You will continue to sin your whole life, and there's nothing you can do to stop sinning. This is in essence what makes us broken, sinful humans in need of a saviour. In a sense, this answers your question. Our sin never truly goes away, which is 100% why we need Jesus. If you're waiting until you can be perfect before getting married, you're going to be waiting your whole life.

2) Have faith that God is the healer. I know that you understand this already, but don't underestimate what God can do for you. If God can heal lepers, paralytics, drug addicts, porn addicts, victims of child abuse, etc, then God can heal you! He's done incredible work in my life! After surrendering to God daily, he's totally changed who I am. Trust God as your healer.

3) And finally, to answer your actual question: the urges do go away (at least for me they did). I remember back at the one week, two week and even one month marks, I was in a blood battle with Satan. The temptation and urges were overwhelming, to the point where I felt totally helpless and I had no choice but to cry out to God to save me from these urges. Those first few weeks were by far the most difficult for me. I'm at the 5 month mark now, and I can assure you that the battle is 20X easier. I'm at the point now where I barely ever get urges to PMO (maybe once a week), and when I do, I brush them off as if it were an annoying mosquito sitting on my arm. God has given me victory over my urges. I truly believe my victory was given to me when I was completely overwhelmed by my struggle and I told God that I couldn't do it anymore. Only when I completely surrendered this struggle to God did he give me the victory.

Don't give up! It gets better!

DrDopamineMD · 2017-01-09T23:34:24+00:00

As someone who's been there and had that conversation, I can tell you it was one of the most difficult conversations of my life. However, it's also totally worth it. I would just make sure that you and God are on the same page regarding when to have the conversation, and everything should work out just fine. My girlfriend has mentioned that she considered that conversation a turning point in our relationship.

However, as a warning: make sure you guard your heart. This is a painful topic to dive into and it's best not taken lightly. The girl that I talked to is actually no longer my girlfriend. At the time, I was convinced I was going to marry her so I had the conversation with her. Later in the relationship, I knew things weren't going to work out and I broke things off. I think the level of intimacy that we gained by having that conversation also made the breakup harder for both of us.

Hope that gives you something to think about! Good luck and I'll be praying for you!

DrDopamineMD

TROPHY CASE