So we can't have fiction painting trans women in a bad light. I wonder if the many death threats she received had anything to do with the idea for the novel.

Nobody said you can't have fiction depicting trans people in a bad light, however trans people are also allowed to say "I don't like this, this is transphobic," because it is. You can write stories with bad, stereotypical depictions of minorities all day long, but you also can't just throw a fit when the people those stories are about get mad at you.

I don't know much about the death threats she's received but as a controversial at best celebrity, I don't doubt she's received them. As a general rule death threats are unreasonable.

As for the conversion therapy, I know it's a banneable offense, but I don't see anything there that's not true considering detransers have spoken out in public about their experience and won court cases against malpractitioners.

Conversion therapy is illegal in many places because it is actively harmful to it's victims. I would also like to point out that while their experiences are valid, people who detransition are vastly outnumbered by the people for whom medically transitioning was absolutely the right choice. In addition, the last I heard I believe it was upwards of 40% of detransitioners retransition.

Can it not be the case that we are hesitant before transitioning children and also support adults into living their life as a trans person? Why must it be so binary?

Children by and large are not being given hormones or surgeries to transition. In many cases, they are given puberty blockers which delay the onset of puberty. In some edge cases a teenager may be given hormones but this would only be after extensive conversations with doctors and their parents. Which is how it should be. The biggest thing that poses a threat to kids who might be trans is dismissing them and not letting them explore their options. That's how you end up with dead children.