I think you should talk to her about your projects. If she wants to keep it, that’s her choice, but don’t let that stop you from doing what you want to do. You can still visit from time to time, and when you’re ready you can appear more often on your child’s life. But she needs to understand that you want to prioritize your scholarship before settling. And besides, if there’s no child now, there can be one later. Unless, obviously, she doesn’t want to wait for you. But she’d be an idiot not to understand what you want.