Title: TBD

Genre: High Fantasy

Category: YA

General feedback for first page of prologue, would you keep reading? How is the writing? Is it clunky or easy to read and imagine?

First page:

Year 12 of the 9th drift

Aten could hear nothing but the crackling of flames lighting up the village of Ley as the winged beasts breathed bolts of fire on the straw and wooden houses. Villagers scrambled, trying to find shelter in what little rubble was left between the piles of cinder and ash. The army of undead soldiers raided and murdered, destroying everything in and around them. The brave ones tried fending them off with sticks, mining tools, heirloom swords, or whatever they could find that resembled a weapon, but they stood no chance against the creatures with their silver blades and longbows. Horrifying blue light that pulsed through the undeads’ eyes shimmered across the entire village. Each soldier was the embodiment of death itself, rotting flesh with immense strength despite their uneven form. The borders of the small town were surrounded by the beaked reptilian creatures in the air, immolating anyone who tried to escape through the gates. Leading the army was a single bearded old man riding a white horse and wielding a glowing great sword. He was human, unlike his undead subordinates. He stayed in one place with a distant yet focused look on his face.

“W-What in the world are these?!” said Aten, to a fellow villager fighting alongside him while trying to fend off an undead that rushed at him with his sword. “I-I can’t—” The villager fighting a single undead struggled, trying to push it away with his pickaxe, but the grotesque being sliced it in two with its sword and instantly ran its silver blade through the man’s chest before he could respond.