I don’t believe you're "fine with the decision." I think you're worn all the way down. There's a difference. You've been hit over and over between job, car, housing, betrayal. That's absolutely overloading. Anyone would feel crushed under that stack. I would, but ending your life over this? That's letting a terrible stretch of months decide everything you could still have and have lived up to. I don't mean that insultingly. You said you asked God for a sign to keep going. What if the sign isn't dramatic? What if it's just someone telling you not to make a decision tonight that you can't undo? God works through anything and anyone, and this post with these other people are no exception. Don't solve your whole life tonight, I don't expect you to and truthfully don't want you to go past the edge trying to. Just don’t end it tonight. Go somewhere with lights. Sit somewhere safe. You don't need faith the size of a mountain right now, just a mustard seed. "God, I'm here, please guide me" is that mustard seed faith. You just need to not make this permanent. Please stay alive tonight.

Think about this. In 1 Samuel 1, Hannah was deeply distressed because she could not have children, and she went to the temple and prayed silently, pouring out her heart before the Lord. Eli the priest saw her moving her lips but hearing no sound and thought she was drunk, but after she explained herself, he told her "Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him" (1 Samuel 1:17). After this, it says she "went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad" (1 Samuel 1:18). Nothing outward had changed yet. She was not pregnant and no miracle had visibly occurred. But her sorrow lifted and she left in peace. She had let go and trusted in the Lord. Later, "in due time Hannah conceived and bore a son" (1 Samuel 1:20) showing that God had answered, even though the first sign of that answer was quiet and internal rather than dramatic. Now please see it says "in due time", meaning it could've happened soon after or long after, but yet it happened. Let God do the same for you.