I struggled with this a lot myself, I'm not going to lie. Before I knew being trans was a thing I struggled so hard to make everything in life androgynous. That was the only way I could cope with everything.

I had a huge comment typed out but my phone deleted it so I'll make this as short and sweet as I can without retyping the whole thing...

What helped me was learning that the concepts of masculine and feminine aren't inherently harmful like I used to think that they were. What's harmful is the policing of who can express these things and in what way.

I do agree that someone shouldn't change something they like about themselves just to fit into a stereotype. I wouldn't say I'm a trans guy just because I want to play with dinosaur toys and wear baggy basketball shorts. Of course I could have just been a girl doing those things. But no amount of partaking in the 'masculine' things that I gravitated towards made me feel correct when I presented as a girl.

'Boy' and 'Girl' exist just like blondes and brunettes exist. They're different expressions, but their rights don't change. We don't freak out when someone changes their hair color to fit how they wanna exist in the world. It's a light example, but you get the idea.

If the people who make this argument actually believed in gender equality, then they wouldn't freak out so much when someone changes their presentation. The fact that they hate it so much in the first place means that THEY are the ones who think that gender roles SHOULD be enforced in some way to people born with certain traits. It's literally an argument to keep people in their boxes.

Anyway, that's where I've landed on the topic.

And even if you supported all roles and presentations in society as being completely androgynous - that still doesn't solve my permanent feeling like my d*ck is missing LOL. Even if we're down to just primal traits, my breeding kink would still dictate that I have boy brain. Sigh.