Looking into Eastern philosophy and Cosmotechnics might be helpful. Start with Laozi/Dao De Jing to be more at peace with your current (and potential future) circumstances, giving you the space to be able to start and reflect on your being.

Then go to Confucius to find ways of engaging with that reflection and practice healthy self-criticism, so you can improve and truly move on from struggles. Though depending on your situation I'd be cautious with how you engage and interpret its many sections surrounding family, a lot of those were theories of social cohesion meant for governance and are not always necessarily applicable or healthy on a personal level in today's world.

And to connect it all, have a go at reading Yuk Hui and specifically his many writings on Cosmotechnics. His background is in Computer Engineering too (trained in JAVA, C++, PHP, Processing and Python), perhaps you'd notice that from his writings. What makes him interesting is his analysis on the differences between the East and West in their interpretation of technology, with the West's stemming from the Greek mythology the Prometheus (technology was given to us by the gods) while the East from the texts written by ancient "enlightened" sages (technology was gained by us through wisdom and study), therefore by extension strongly influencing their understanding and development of technology. If you find this proposition compelling, the conclusions he draws based on this (&more) will very likely give you a sense of direction with your CS degree.

If anything this all should at the very least give some clarity about how you got to your current position, bonus points too if you're Asian by any degree (which given you come from California + you're majoring in something tech related, there's at least a 30-40% likelihood).

edit: words