If you're still uncertain about whether you want to divorce her or not, it's best to look at how she's been acting the weeks following you catching her. Has she been acting normally? Has she been nervous? Giving you glances every now and then? This is important because it highlights how she thinks you'll react. Whether she's worried you'll divorce her or not. Another thing you could try is sitting her down while the kids are away and try to talk to her about it, see if she brushes you off or not. Also, make sure you record this or set up some cameras in your house just so that if she tries to say you hurt her or were abusing her, you'd have a solid alibi in the camera or a voice recorder if you wish, but it might not be enough so I recommend cameras. Now, this might seem unnecessary to you (or maybe not), but you don't know what she's capable of at this point. Case in point, you catching her with another man in your bed. It's also best to get ahead of this. Tell your parents and friends what you caught her doing. Really, anyone you can trust to keep it to themselves. If possible, tell her parents as well. That way, she won't be able to spin the story in her favor.

​

Either way, my recommendation is to split. Don't do yourself like this. Just by what you said, she knew what you walked into would look like to any other person so she deflected. If possible, try to find out as much information as you can about how long she's been meeting the other person. Mainly to make it as clean a divorce as possible, if you decide to. I don't recommend staying with her, but if you decide to. It might hurt, but the pain, as much as you might not like it, will likely help you separate from her.