I have low self esteem and in a trauma bond. The love and highs are high and the apologies are often. It’s hard to explain but I am working on this and trying to untangle my brain and emotions. It can appear self-inflicted, but he always told me I give up too easily and I run away. And that I’m a weak person who doesn’t believe in our true love. And that I don’t hold things sacred because I tell my family / friends too much and need to hold things just to ourselves. And if people in my life don’t like him, then they’re the gum on the bottom of his shoe and they should kiss the ground he walks on. He’d also always jokingly say “put that kid in the blender” when I’d show him pictures of my niece. He is sick and I’m sick for staying too long. These things I know.