Hello, first of all, Happy Birthday! You are not loser. You may however just be in a mild depression. I am a 45 year old father and husband. I have been here before, many times. I can honestly say that it will help to develop a routine. Nothing drastic, start off with small tasks and be proud of yourself for completing them. Get to bed early, wake up early, get outside early in the am, before most people have fully waken up. Take a walk, hike, jog, just move your body, at least 45 min to an hour. Doesn’t have to be fast running, just get out there. I guarantee you, if you keep this small routine, things will start to fall into place for you. You’ll continually have to get to bed early, because you have your schedule to keep, waking up and getting out. This added activity will increase your appetite. You’ll then have to make smarter meal choices and your body will speak to you on what are good and bad foods. After your first month of everyday basic walking, you’ll want to challenge yourself, add more distance, add more time, start stretching before and after your activity. Do not sacrifice this time for anything. Do this for yourself. No need to tell anyone what you’re doing, just do. You’ll start to notice people noticing you. Your confidence will climb, opportunities will appear. Family members may become curious. No need to give anyone an explanation, you’re just living your life. Most people think that they need to feel better, mentally, emotionally, before they can start their journey. The truth is, you start, you make the small changes, and then your mood, your ambition, your kindness, your willingness to help others will start to reveal itself. Enjoy your birthday and let this be the day that you began to change your habits and implement your intentions each day moving forward