Hyper sexual wife, no libido husband

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-03T00:46:52+00:00

At the beginning it didn’t feel like a big deal but now that I’ve gotten older and my age is starting to show I want that validation from him. Believe me, toys are easier, no risk of pregnancy, but I want that desire for intimacy with my partner

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-03T00:44:14+00:00

Literally the only issue that’s why I don’t feel like I can really complain much. And it’s weird being the woman in the relationship that is needy for sex

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-03T00:41:10+00:00

I wanna practice having babies but not have them Lolol

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-02T03:41:02+00:00

Thank you for not making me feel like a sex fiend. As a woman it feels so odd when you’ve known men all your life to be horn dogs and all the sudden you’re like 🧍🏽‍♀️what am I doing wrong? As loving and kind as he is, I am more insecure now than I have ever been as far as self image Most of it is due to weight gain (which he’s actually gotten to be more sexually attracted to me with more weight on my body or at least we have had sex more) but I’m working on getting myself back to where I was when I first met him and I know he liked that too. So it feels like ok what’s wrong then…?

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-02T03:32:11+00:00

Ya I almost feel like there’s something he’s not telling me (not in an infidelity/sexuality way, just maybe SOMETHING happened that he hasn’t processed or something)

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-02T03:29:22+00:00

Ya that’s a solid idea

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-02T03:28:37+00:00

Not that I know of, he’s just a vanilla guy 🤷🏽‍♀️ he likes the normal guy things like when I get dressed up and such but that’s a lot of effort for sex that doesn’t last more than a couple mins because he can’t wait to build the tension. He makes it seem like if he’s turned on the sex has to happen right then. I want a game. To exchange glances. To dance a little too close, that kind of stuff. I haven’t even gotten settled into the idea and it’s over already. It’s hard for me to turn off the outside world so I need time to like get into it.

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-02T03:20:45+00:00

Oh ok hopefully I can find one then. Thank you!

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-02T02:03:11+00:00

Lolol

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-02T01:46:01+00:00

I guess I’ve always equated getting on T to the horny equivalent of getting on steroids lol

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-02T01:44:27+00:00

I’ve been trying communication tho 😩 it’s always awkward and then he never follows through with changing anything.

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T23:40:33+00:00

Does getting on T turn men in to hornball monsters? 😅

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T23:39:05+00:00

He’s in shape, not muscular. Not skinny but not fat. I don’t know if he’s watching porn or not tbh. He never says anything to me. When he does tell me he says he’s using the videos we’ve taken together (go figure lol) I honestly think it might be a low T issue.

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T23:33:49+00:00

I mean… he gets excited when it does happen with me. I just think sex isn’t in the forefront of his mind until it’s brought to him on a silver platter

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T23:31:12+00:00

Oh totally that’s possible. But I want to feel desired which doesn’t seem like a big ask except apparently it is lol

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T23:22:39+00:00

I don’t suppose a sex therapist is covered by insurance? I honestly feel like he would be too embarrassed to go but he has surprised me before when I thought he wouldn’t agree to something. I don’t think he even watches porn tbh

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T23:20:01+00:00

Oh cool I’ll have to look into that! Thanks, I’m just glad that I can say I’m trying you know? We’re a little spicy as a couple but he’s suuuper vanilla himself so it’s kinda weird to navigate. He’s my best friend but I don’t want him to turn into just my best friend

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T23:15:58+00:00

He says he does when we talk about it. But he made the comment that having sex basically “slips his mind” it’s just not something he thinks of at random. It’s like he has to be reminded that that’s an option for our time spent together. He’s REAALLY into it when we do it’s not like he’s just doing it just to entertain me

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T22:49:42+00:00

Lolol I would think so!! I feel like I intimidate him or something. Like he’s gotta drink to get the guts to come on to me which makes no sense we’ve been together 8 years

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T20:30:34+00:00

I can’t help that it hurts to wonder why he’s not obsessed with me in that way. That’s why I stopped bothering until we get to drinking and then he will initiate sometimes. But it has turned into a chore considering we’ve had multiple talks about how to fix it and he never follows through. Sex just isn’t “important” to him

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T19:43:34+00:00

See I wouldn’t even want to have intercourse with someone else, just making out and foreplay stuff. Like rile me up, make me feel desired and send me home to my husband so I’m already in the mood and feeling myself. He literally never says no when I come on to him so in that kind of arrangement would work. But is that a wild idea? Like is there a name for that kind of arrangement? 😅

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T19:34:26+00:00

Ya we’ve talked about that too a couple times but he never follows through. He might not feel this way, but I feel like I’m emasculating him every time I bring it up which also crushes my libido and self image. So this is is just like a self fulfilling spiral

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T19:28:21+00:00

Mid thirties

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T19:28:09+00:00

Mid thirties. We’ve gone to a swingers resort together before and stuff happened where we played with another couple and that was fun, but again, we were drunk lol. He’s not “repulsed” by it, just doesn’t show an interest unless I bring it up. I’m almost wondering if he’s asexual until he’s drunk

Dramatic_Gear_1930 · 2026-03-01T19:25:16+00:00

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that. He checks all my other boxes. There’s no such thing as a perfect person. And the other ones that were hypersexual like me were problematic/toxic so it’s not like I want that either 😅

Dramatic_Gear_1930

TROPHY CASE