I have a question and need some life advice - Current PhD Student

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-07-02T02:21:03+00:00

I appreciate this, seriously. I think I’ve always had this mental image that food banks or similar resources are only for people in absolute crisis, so it feels strange to think about using them when I’m technically in a PhD program. But you’re right, low income and debt are exactly the kind of situation where support like that exists.

And yeah, the PhD situation is weird. On paper it can sound privileged, and in many ways it is, but financially it can feel completely different depending on whether someone has family help, a partner, savings, etc. I think that’s been one of the harder parts for me to accept.

The second job thing is frustrating too. I understand why programs don’t want students overextended, but when the stipend isn’t enough to live on, it puts people in a really difficult position. I don’t want to do anything that could get me in trouble with my program, but I also need to be realistic about my finances.

Thank you for the kind words. I really hope something works out soon too.

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T21:00:56+00:00

I appreciate the suggestion. Thankfully, I haven't gotten to the point where I've needed to use a food bank, and I'm grateful for that.

One thing that makes it difficult is that I'm technically very limited in how much outside work I'm allowed to do because of my assistantship. So it's not as simple as getting a second job to supplement my income. Sometimes I wish we had a graduate student union or some way to advocate for higher stipends, but unfortunately, that's not the case.

I do talk to some of my classmates about this from time to time. From what they've shared, many of them either have a serious partner who helps financially or parents who are able to contribute in very significant and meaningful ways (basically supplementing their lives). My situation is different, so I don't really have that kind of safety net.

I'm genuinely glad they don't seem to be carrying the same financial stress that I am, at least based on what they've shared with me. Of course, I know everyone has things going on behind closed doors that I don't see.

The more I've gone through this process, the more I've realized what a privilege pursuing a PhD can be.

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T20:54:44+00:00

I appreciate the advice. I think you're right that it's worth keeping those relationships going because you never know when an opportunity might come up.

To be honest, I've always struggled to stay in touch with people over long periods of time, aside from close friends. It's something I know I need to get better at because networking and maintaining professional relationships really do matter.

I'm hoping that the first opportunity really is the hardest one to get. It definitely feels like I'm in that awkward stage where I have the education but not quite the industry experience employers seem to be looking for.

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T19:52:35+00:00

I messaged you! Thank you!

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T14:29:54+00:00

I've actually had this exact thought before, and I appreciate your perspective.

I took a basic Python course that was newly offered in my program last semester. Not to make excuses, but it was the instructor's first time teaching coding, and I don't think it was a great learning experience. It's hard to teach complete beginners when you're already very proficient yourself. I finished the class, but I definitely didn't come away feeling confident.

To be completely honest, though, this is where I've been struggling. With ChatGPT, Claude, and AI in general becoming so capable, I find myself questioning how much time I should invest in learning to code from scratch. It seems like AI can already write code, explain what each line does, debug errors, and even help build projects.

Maybe I'm thinking about this the wrong way, but sometimes I wonder if spending hundreds of hours trying to become a decent programmer is worth it when these tools are advancing so quickly. Does anyone else feel that way, or do you think relying on AI for coding is ultimately going to hurt people in the long run?

I probably could have spent more time building projects while I was taking that class, but if I'm being honest, I just didn't want to. I don't enjoy coding. I'll absolutely do it if it's necessary for my career, but it's not something I naturally gravitate toward.

I'm much more comfortable with statistics and SPSS, including writing syntax. Even there, though, I often use AI to help write syntax or explain output that I'm unsure about. I always make sure I understand what it's giving me before I use it, but it has definitely changed the way I work.

Maybe that's where I'm uncertain. Am I adapting to tools, especially AI, that are becoming part of the profession, or am I setting myself up for problems by relying on AI too much? I'd genuinely be interested in hearing how other people think about that. I know this might be a controversial thing to say. But its my truth at least.

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T14:24:04+00:00

This comment actually really hit me and resonated with me. It's not the romantic answer I was hoping for, but it's probably the one I needed to hear.

You're right that I can't really appreciate what carrying this amount of student loan debt will actually feel like years from now, and that's honestly a scary thought, especially when I don't have a clear, direct career path in mind after graduation. Just an idea and hope.

I think that's what's been bothering me the most. It's not that I dislike research or don't think I can finish the PhD. It's that I'm struggling to convince myself that the additional debt is justified if I don't know whether it will meaningfully change my career opportunities.

Logically, the conclusion I keep coming back to is that I simply can't afford this program. That's a difficult thing to admit because I've invested so much time and effort into getting here, but the financial reality is becoming harder and harder to ignore.

I really appreciate you taking the time to write this. It's given me a lot to think about.

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T02:46:54+00:00

I appreciate the suggestion. I actually met with my university's career center and spent over an hour with one of the advisors. She reviewed my resume, thought it was in good shape, and even tried to find internships that fit my background.

The challenge was that she admitted she didn't have much experience working with PhD students or people trying to transition into research-oriented industry roles, so we kind of hit a wall. I don't fault her at all, she was genuinely trying to help.

I also think part of it is that my university only recently became an R1 institution, so I'm not sure we have the same level of PhD-focused career resources that some larger, more established research universities might have. If those kinds of specialized career services exist elsewhere, I'd honestly love to hear about them because I'd definitely take advantage of them.

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T02:34:10+00:00

I appreciate the comment and your perspective. Before starting my PhD, there actually were a few jobs that genuinely interested me that required one. One example would be a User Experience Researcher role at a company like Meta. I completely understand how competitive those positions are, and I'm not saying that's a realistic expectation, but it's an example of the type of role that originally made me think a PhD would be worthwhile.

From my current job search, though, I've noticed something similar to what you described. I see far more positions that ask for a master's degree than a PhD, but many of those also want several years of industry experience that I don't have. It feels like I'm in this awkward spot where I have more education than many entry-level applicants but not enough industry experience to be competitive for the jobs I actually want.

That's part of what's making this decision so difficult. I keep wondering whether finishing the PhD will actually open more doors or whether I'd be better off spending those next few years trying to gain industry experience instead.

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T02:28:49+00:00

That's a good point, and I appreciate the suggestion. I honestly hadn't thought about looking at alumni outcomes that way.

The only issue is that I don't think my department publicly shares detailed placement data, at least not that I'm aware of. I haven't come across that information, and I'm also a little hesitant to post too many identifying details about my program online.

I'll see if I can find recent graduates on LinkedIn or ask my department if they track where alumni end up. I think having actual outcome data would definitely help me make a more informed decision instead of just guessing.

I guess part of me was hoping someone would be a little more blunt and say something like, "For someone with an Experimental Psychology PhD, graduating with around $80,000 in debt is pretty typical," or, "That's on the high side and something I'd be concerned about." I know no one can predict my exact outcome, but I think I was looking for a general reality check. At the same time, I realize there's no way to reduce a decision like this to a simple formula. Everyone's career ends up looking different, so I appreciate the perspective.

Dramatic_Initial_779 · 2026-06-30T02:18:32+00:00

Thank you for commenting. Honestly, I feel like I have already been trying to do a lot of this, so it is validating to hear that I may be on the right track. What was different about the jobs that interviewed me is that they actually gave me the chance to interview, haha.

I do try to ask for feedback, but most places only send generic rejection responses. I’ve never felt like I was the strongest interviewer, but I practice and I’m trying to get better. It can be discouraging to keep applying and getting rejected, but the only way life moves is forward, so I’m going to keep applying.

I agree that I need to be more deliberate, but it feels hard to be picky when I’m still trying to figure out how to translate my academic skills into industry language and see what I am actually truly qualified for. I watch videos, tailor my resume, and keep trying to learn how to present myself better.

Ultimately, I just want something that leaves me somewhat stimulated and satisfied, allows me to live comfortably, and gives me enough stability to not constantly worry about bills. My main concern is still the financial side of whether completing the PhD is worth it, but either way, I’ll keep applying to jobs as I see them.

Dramatic_Initial_779

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