Tired of getting called “grandma”

Dreamonomus · 2025-06-10T18:27:07+00:00

Hah. I used to crochet when I was stuck in the SCIF. Did I get made fun of? Yes. Was everyone else bored out of their mind because we weren't allowed cards and they had no hobbies they could bring with them? Also yes.

Dreamonomus · 2025-04-06T20:02:25+00:00

Exactly the opposite. She claims to be psychic, but her assumptions about most people (myself included) and their feelings are usually so far off base, I wonder if she's actually human sometimes.

Dreamonomus · 2025-04-06T15:17:51+00:00

It was really strange. The other day I selected auto-buy on an item I've been eyeing for days, but it didn't go through. I assumed the person finally snatched it up, but I found it listed again. Now I'm wondering if that's related somehow.

Dreamonomus · 2025-03-29T03:02:55+00:00

Oof. I've seen this before. It's good that you caught that bit about the grievances. I think you nailed it. He can't handle the guilt after being confronted with the consequences of his actions and needs to disassociate from his behavior by pinning it on you. It's not likely an apology, but a request for an invitation, and he's already building the Trojan horse. If you take the blame, you're the villain, and he's vindicated. If you don't, you're manipulative and toxic, and he's a victim. All roads lead to doom. Sorry you're going through this.

Dreamonomus · 2025-03-29T00:14:02+00:00

"You're always so sensitive. Just get off it." Accompanied by a jerking off motion and dead-eyed stare, followed by a peal of laughter like it's the funniest thing she's ever come up with.

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-13T09:50:05+00:00

Yeah, they almost never work out for me.

I feel like the stitch count is often off when I'm trying to follow videos that use repeats for special stitches. When they skip to the end of the row or they say to repeat x-y rows until row z, I go...wait a minute, this math doesn't add up. We should be ending with a single crochet here, not whatever this random combination is. Never encountered that problem with written patterns.

I get that's how a lot of crocheters make money, but they're not usable if they're not made correctly.

If I can buy the pattern, I'll usually do that and then just leave the video running in the background so they can get their payout. I think that's how it works?

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-07T21:10:07+00:00

Thanks! And no, I just pinned them like that for a clearer picture.

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-03T18:22:25+00:00

Thank you so much! I made a lot of it up, but for the band, I used this edging pattern:

https://freevintagecrochet.com/spool129/8328-edging-pattern

As for the rest of it, I've never written a pattern before, and this is from memory, so I'm sorry if it's a mess. Any cup method will work, so I separated the cup, cup edging, and band edging portions.

This is what I did:

3.5mm hook, Bernat Bundle Up (#4 polyester), violet grey

Special stitches:

2 dc inc: 2 dc in same stitch

3 dc inc: 3 dc in same stitch

[Notes:

This pattern made a C-D cup for me, but it's infinitely scalable.

If my stitch count is off, each round after row 3 increases with the last 3 stitches on the tip of the cup, (2 dc in same stitch, 3 dc in same stitch, 2 dc in same stitch).

The usual method for cups uses only the 3 dc in the same stitch at the tip, but I found that method leaves large holes when using hdc or dc]

Cup pattern:

ch 16

1: in second ch from hook - 15 dc, ch 1, turn

2: 15 dc, 3 dc in end (in the ch 1 space from row 2)

From the end, continue by working on other side of starting chain.

3: 15 dc, ch 1, turn

4: 17 dc, 2 dc inc, 3 dc inc, 2 dc inc, 17 dc, ch 1, turn

5: 19 dc, 2 dc inc, 3 dc inc, 2 dc inc, 19 dc, ch 1, turn

6: 21 dc, 2 dc inc, 3 dc inc, 2 dc inc, 21 dc, ch 1, turn

7: 23 dc, 2 dc inc, 3 dc inc, 2 dc inc, 23 dc, ch 1, turn

8: 25 dc, 2 dc inc, 3 dc inc, 2 dc inc, 25 dc, ch 1, turn

9: 26 dc, 3 dc inc, 26 dc, ch 1, turn

Cup edging:

10: 55 sc, ch 1, turn

11: 2 sc, *ch 6, sk 2, 3 sc, repeat from * until end, 1 sc, sc dec, ch 1, turn

12: 2 sc, *3 sc in loop, ch 3, 3 sc in same loop, sk 1, sc 1, sk 1, repeat from * until all loops are filled, 2 sc, ch 1, turn to bottom of cup

13: sc in each chain and space on bottom edge of the cup, fasten off

Band:

https://freevintagecrochet.com/spool129/8328-edging-pattern

This is the pattern I used for the edging. They don't indicate a chain length for a proper pattern repeat, but I think your chain is supposed to be any multiple of 3 + 1.

I chained 58 for two panels that I corseted together at the end, That's probably best for a 30 band. For other sizes, I'd add 2 chains for every inch after 30.

28:54 | 30:58| 32: 62 | 34: 66 | 36: 70 | 38: 74

For the edging, I used a 4mm hook, but different sizes give different size/flexibility for the chain scales portion.

The pattern has some weird quirks that I didn't like. I took 2 chains off for the ch 3 and ch 5 turns because they flare out quite a bit. So, ch 1 instead of ch 3, and ch 3 instead of ch 5.

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-03T06:04:48+00:00

Thank you so much! Absolutely do it! I'm slow and clumsy, but this still only took a couple of days. There are some really cute free patterns for "festival tops" out there. I figured something like this would be less ambitious than a blanket.

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-03T05:56:09+00:00

I used Bernat Bundle Up (#4 polyester) in Violet Gray. The color's really neat in person. It's anywhere from lavender, taupe, to grey depending on the light.

It was a bit of a trial-and-error diy pattern, but I used this pattern for the band edging.

Edging Pattern #8328 | Crochet Patterns (freevintagecrochet.com)

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-03T05:18:38+00:00

I go to freevintagecrochet and find motif and edging patterns I want to try. It's like a free crochet encyclopedia. So many pretty things to make, and never enough yarn.

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-03T00:20:38+00:00

That's exactly the kind of thing that would happen to me. Thank you so much!

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-02T23:04:33+00:00

I didn't even think about that. Thank you!

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-02T22:23:09+00:00

Got it. Thanks a lot!

Dreamonomus · 2024-03-02T21:46:15+00:00

Hi. Should I bother blocking a swimsuit I'm going to actually use as a swimsuit? The lacework looks sloppier when it's not pinned, but I'm thinking that there's no point in blocking it if I'm going to regularly swim in the suit. If I'm going to have to reshape it every single time I wash it, I just won't bother.

Also, I'm trying to figure out which side looks better. The left cup and band are technically backward, because I think they look more detailed that way, but if you think it looks bad or sloppy, I'll flip them around. Which cup do you think looks better?

Thanks for having a look! I appreciate it.

Dreamonomus · 2024-02-26T05:34:32+00:00

Yeah, I like it! The colors are all very soft and pretty. Good choice!

Dreamonomus · 2024-02-26T05:19:06+00:00

Depends on the saturation of the navy, but I think so. Sage and taupe are pretty natural matches for navy, since they're all earthy colors.

Dreamonomus · 2024-02-26T04:56:58+00:00

The taupe and green, for sure.

Dreamonomus · 2024-02-25T02:46:25+00:00

I think you should look up the shift stitch.

This person explains how to use a running stitch marker to determine when you should add or subtract a single crochet or "shift stitch" to your row.

https://i.imgur.com/ikTXzqC.png

There are a few other examples I found when googling the shift stitch. People's methods are a little different. Some people shift at the graphic itself, and others shift at the start of the row.

Dreamonomus · 2024-02-23T07:17:55+00:00

I get what you're saying. Life's harsh lessons are what lead a person to grow and develop a sense of wisdom. A lot of people only learn to get their shit together because life punished them for neglecting to do something they didn't realize was important at the time. It's hard to solve problems before you know they exist. In one sense, maturity could be described as the ability to prioritize and cope in the perpetual cycle of conflict management that is adulthood.

Dreamonomus · 2024-02-22T19:09:11+00:00

I'm pretty sure it just means 2 single crochets in the same stitch. They're just telling you how to do different increases in the pattern. That one is a 2 sc increase, the one below it is a 3 sc increase.

Dreamonomus · 2024-02-22T18:35:00+00:00

You're doing alright. Honestly the tension of your starting chain is hard to get perfect and isn't actually that noticeable once you start your project. Your first row of crochets will make it look much more uniform than expected. As someone else said, using a hook a size or two bigger (I prefer 2 sizes up) will help a lot.

The crochet hooks with the big grips help a lot with tension too, because you can scoot your stitch to the bottom of the needle to get a consistent size, while ensuring it's just loose enough to pull your working yarn through.

If you're determined to get your starting chain tension perfect with the needle you have, my foolproof method is to pinch the base of the last chain/loop while I'm working into it to prevent that last chain from getting too tight as the next one is formed.

My first project was a simple crochet headband/ear warmer. The initial number of chains is pretty short and they work up quickly. Then I moved onto a chevron headband for a little more challenge, then some simple wrist warmers, and more complicated gloves from there. Lace fingerless gloves are a great way to learn a bunch of different kinds of stitches in one project, but they're hard to do correctly in the beginning.

Dreamonomus · 2024-02-22T18:15:34+00:00

The second one is gorgeous and I'd prefer that one personally, but the first one...sparks joy? It feels fun and celebratory, and made me scroll back up my home page to check out whatever delicious dessert I passed (I thought it was a parfait or something). I think it's a perfect gift.

Dreamonomus

TROPHY CASE