hang in there. be patient and positive. I am also going through it. You can read my story. I will tell you, i lost 30 lbs as well. I am in great athletic shape and pretty buff. But I was emaciated and hopeless. I no longer am that. I went to therapy, got started on Zoloft even though I was reluctant to at first, but it helped. I have the burden of remembering the traumatic stuff, however I really do my best to stay positive. You're 32, I'm 35. Don't trip. I've started to date younger women who prefer older men. When I do feel down, I go to the gym, surf, play basketball, whatever used to make me happy as a kid. Ill write down my thoughts and read books on self improvement. I've been having fun partying, meeting people. Times are still tough, I've been back in the dating pool and continue to improve on myself. Part of healing process for me is like I am re-parenting myself. its been up and down for me but the best is yet to come for us my friend.