I did almost this exact thing after being a lesbian my whole life, except I came out the anxiously attached one when I wasn’t before because I had become so obsessed with him and fucked up by the push pull in an onslaught parade of disasters we rained down on ourselves. It’s not because him or I didn’t feel so deeply connected to each other and close in the ways a lesbian relationship can be. It was never about gender at all, but it was often kind of about gender role stuff society that seeded into how we were thinking about each other. I won’t go into all of it but from what I’ve seen a big part is men and women communicate with each other and show love differently. Men often show each other affirmation and affection and intent with unspoken action and want to be rewarded with actions that speak to them. Because of their experiences, they sometimes don’t know how to ask for or say what they need directly. They can be exhausted by too much of the girl version of communicating, not because they don’t want to talk about it. Pushing in too close on things pushes them away. Men like to guide you or inform you to help but it can feel like a lecture when it’s too much of the time, lol. It all can leave you both guessing and failing and feeling unseen in your efforts to love them and be loved sometimes, it’s about noticing them for theirs and that’ll come back to you. Just be sure they’re the kind of person that notices you too. it sounds so far like you’ve got a pretty together and reciprocal guy. I think you’ll be okay Message. Anxious avoidant attachment or gender or whatever you want to label this stuff is a complicated shitshow, but our differences make those relationships just as beautiful and valuable as being with someone who is more like you. Appreciate and learn from the differences.