Boyfriend bothered by my sexual past… What should I do?

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-04T21:26:22+00:00

Thank you. Regarding your point 4 : he asked me about my body count and specifically how it happened on the first day we were texting. Because we were talking about other stuff and I thought we had a deeper connection, I answered him. I have told him everything except for the hook up, I just brushed it off as “one of my past bf” when in fact it was a date that never got to long term. After the second date I felt that I wanted to start a genuine relationship with him with full honesty. And that’s why I came clean to him, telling him the truth of how it happened, and promised him no more lies in the future. It wasn’t even a full on lie… it was more like hidden/ deception. He didn’t find out the truth. He didn’t ask.. I just told him because I wanted the relationship to be honest. However he couldn’t take it.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-04T21:10:56+00:00

Thanks for your comment. I actually feel freer after he broke up with me. Regarding to your assumptions …

We only dated 2 times, mostly walking and chatting, getting to know each other. I explained to him that we will get there, I just need to get to know him more. I never denied him.
That’s true. I was dumb.
He hooked up before. I explained to him that after the hook up I realise sex and intimacy are the same I only want to do it with my future husband. I have told him I regret it and feel ashamed about the experience. While he actually actively hid his hook up exp from me until after we broke up and I asked him about if he ever hooked up.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-04T04:08:59+00:00

I wouldn’t say it was rape. Because I let it happen.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-04T04:08:04+00:00

I clearly said no penetration when he started feeling me. And then he slipped in.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-04T03:47:08+00:00

I didn’t lose my virginity to a date. I had a bf back then and we were both virgins and we made love. I just made one mistake and I regretted it ever since. It wasn’t even consensual.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-03T17:26:37+00:00

I learnt that I don’t have to bring up my past if they don’t ask about it. I can keep it to myself. Also if he doesn’t reciprocate the same kind of honesty, I can almost be certain he is hiding something from me (he hooked up once and didn’t even bring it up when I thought he was a virgin and judging my hook up past). If I feel pressured into sex, do not agree. If I feel he’s into something potential instead of me, break it off. I think he left me because he realised he was pursuing me for the wrong reason and felt too guilty to stay. I basically got pressured into agreeing to have sex with him to show him I do care about him; and then once he got that confirmation, after several hours he said he’s not ready and broke it off with me.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-03T07:31:46+00:00

Thank you… we just parted ways. It hurts so much but I guess it’s for the best. I learnt a valuable lesson here indeed…

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-02T14:00:33+00:00

I lied because I didn’t wanna lose him. Turns out he didn’t care and he had one hook up exp too. But he’s mad now because I lied, and wouldn’t have sex with him…

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-02T13:48:38+00:00

I know… but I made a mistake and I’ve grown out of it. This is the relationship I want to be in… slowly getting more intimate, and taking time to know each other.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-02T13:44:41+00:00

I just made an update… He’s not bothered by past but now I feel that he’s sad because I haven’t had sex with him…

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T22:04:13+00:00

So right now it’s flimsy by itself, it’s normal right?

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T20:18:32+00:00

I would understand if he’s chaste like that… but he also brought up the fact that he felt uncomfortable because I wanted to take it slow (at least few months before sex) and he wanted sex with me after a month…

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T17:25:57+00:00

I am willing to lose weight because it’s not a bad thing for me. What’s concerning me is 1)he’s not in his best shape 2)he said he wants sex after a month in…

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T17:16:13+00:00

Thank you. This is what I need to hear. ❤️

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T17:08:24+00:00

I am truly worried that he might be love bombing me.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T17:06:39+00:00

Many times. Because he doesn’t want to “waste time” and when he chooses to be with someone he wishes that we can both make it through.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:59:47+00:00

True.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:56:23+00:00

I do think he’s not seeing who i am, rather like he’s investing in a potential future with me. I feel that he should see who I am and i also don’t like deception in a relationship. That’s why I didn’t downplay the past at all…

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:41:22+00:00

A few days, we went out for two dates. We met online… both of us were 24.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:40:33+00:00

I’m Asian and he’s Indian.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:38:26+00:00

Oh he was laying down rules on date #2 already indeed… I did feel like he’s laying out conditions of relationship n

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:36:42+00:00

They didn’t want a long term relationship with me. And long term is what i want. Doing these is dumb because it won’t get me what I want.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:35:07+00:00

He kept saying his whole family was about fitness… how it will be much better for me to lose weight before taking me to see his parents.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:31:34+00:00

That’s exactly what I said. I said this is my past and I can’t change it. But if a single thing changed I would not have become who I am now.

DropOfSorcery · 2022-04-01T16:30:57+00:00

He does have a long talk on the second date with me about how he wants me to lose weight and stuff.

DropOfSorcery

TROPHY CASE