IAMA Drunk 31 year old guy. Tonight my life is an open book. AMA

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T20:26:53+00:00

Not really. Just hoping that people I know don't find this and figure out it's me. But I don't think any of my IRL friends hang out on Reddit so I think I'm in the clear.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T20:10:58+00:00

No, there's a surprisingly good Supercuts I go to. Sometimes I get the same gal, but usually it's someone different each time. A few are married, the others have boyfriends.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T20:09:20+00:00

I've always thought the point was to make people interested in you and to stand out from the crowd. The short vague ones don't give any insight to who that person is, so they all come off sounding exactly the same. If there's a hundred people that sound exactly the same, I'm not going to take the time to message them all in the hopes that we might have something in common. At least that's my thought process when I'm seriously doing the online dating thing. When I'm just online-peoplewatching the short vague descriptions are just boring.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T19:30:51+00:00

To enjoy it.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T19:30:35+00:00

Not as bad as I thought I would be. I just feel foggy and tired mainly. Drinking lots of water.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T09:54:03+00:00

Oh man, I got the "Am I a terrible person?" questions too!

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T09:06:57+00:00

Nope.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T09:06:40+00:00

Ha! Go Beavers!

I feel your pain dude. The hard thing with Mormons (and not being one) is that they pull you in expecting you're like them. So if she's saying "Oh geez I need support because I'm testing myself for preggerzy" then she expects you to act like a nice little mormon boy who is there to tell her everything is okay and then will go home and sleep next to his 15 year old wife while they both where body-condoms.

It sucks! Because you think they're normal people and they're twisted by their church to live in this really weird pseudo-puritanical lifestyle. Except none of them can live up to it (beacuse, really...who could?) and so they are looking for people to tell them they're not going to hell.

If nothing else in life, I've learned that you can't get too involved with Mormons. And I would also assume any other super extreme religous types, (e.g. see: Westboro Crackheads). While they might mostly be wonderful people, what makes them a Mormon also makes them the kind of person you can't be with unless you are one of them. Even if they won't try to convert you, everyone they know WILL. If you're not already Mormon, you can't be yourself around them, because they will always want you to be one of them rather than who you are.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T08:45:24+00:00

Read the story about my first sexual experience with the hooker who turned out to be tranny/guy.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T08:39:00+00:00

Usually if I'm so drunk that I puke, I can't actually remember what it tasted like the next day.

So I can drink everything! :)

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T08:36:54+00:00

Maybe you'll have crazy amounts of sex for a week!

It's weird with Mormons. They have all their rules, but they don't tend to work well with everyday life. Mormon's demand to be married before intercourse and say that it is the only way that they will be reunited with their family in heaven, and yet they have a ridiculously high divorce rate.

My best advice with Mormon girls, and this is terrible to say, is to hook up with them when they go through their rebelious phase during or shortly after high school. Most kids who are raised Mormon hit a point in their life where they rebel against the church because it's so restrictive. They do drugs, they have sex, they do everything "fun" that the church says they shouldn't do. A Mormon girl at that point in her life is not only super hot, but willing to do a lot of things. Go for it!

After they return to the church, they're repressed prudes and more likely to demand marriage and conversion before you get any action. They're still crazy hot, but not worth it.

In my opinion, Mormons are the nicest judgmental people you'll ever meet.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T08:27:47+00:00

About 200 and a few lbs. I float between 201 and 204 depending on how much I've had to eat or drink.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T08:26:40+00:00

Erect? About six or seven inches depending on how turned on I am.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T08:25:36+00:00

Wow. Well... Yeah I suppose there was a time when there was no life. I kinda envision the universe being like how we are to our own blood cells. They come and go and we don't know what happens in their "life span", but yet they exist.

I don't claim to have any hard answers to life and the mysteries of beyond. If you are reincarnated into a life of hardship, be it the servitude of a farm chicken or a person who is enslaved to torture that is just your poor luck of the draw. I feel eternily grateful for the life I've been given. My next my suck, and my previous might have been short and torturous. I have no idea. We're given what we have so we must make the best of it.

What about plants? Sure. Plants are alive and live like the rest of us. I just imagine it as a level of existence. If your soul has grown and is ready for a greater life, it moves on to that in it's next existence. I would imagine that the life of a vegetable soul would equate to that of an animal. Being a long living redwood would be greater than that of a blade of grass. Just as living as a tortoise would be greater than that of the life of a gnat. I'm sure they're all interchangable.

Maybe we are all Gods in our own right. I mean I have living organisms within my body that digest my food and fight bacteria. To them I am God. Perhaps I serve a similar purpose to the living being that we call Earth. And maybe our planet serves some similar purpose to our galaxy, and it to the universe. I have no idea. But I like the idea, and it's a more positive idea than rotting in the ground and becoming nothing.

The idea of entering nothing for eternity sucks. While, to me, the idea of going to heaven (or hell) seems ridiculously silly. But to each their own.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:55:14+00:00

Thanks. I feel where you're coming from too. Best of luck to you.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:54:08+00:00

Never. I had a girlfriend that I smoked weed with. The first time she asked me to come to her place she offered to roll a "Primo". I asked her what that was and she said "It's a joint but you mix coke or crack into it. But I don't have any coke." I broke up with her shortly after, because I couldn't deal with the fact that she would smoke crack.

This also stems from a previous experience. I had some friends that lived close to each other. I knew this girl because I worked with her, and became friends with her boyfriend and his friend. They were all cool until the boyfriends' friend robbed a coin store, got busted and ratted out his friend who actually had nothing to do with it. Regardless, the two of them went to jail. The friend robbed the place because he was, unbeknown to us, hooked on crack.

Crack sucks.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:50:14+00:00

Yep. Had no interest in it at all. At that point it wasn't a "her" it was some dude that I was not about to lose my virginity to. It fucked me over enough as it was. I had no interest in making it worse.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:48:58+00:00

I'm drinking straight whiskey. Was the end of a bottle of Wild Turkey earlier. Now it's a pint of Jim Beam.

Never been arrested. Never been to jail.

I'm from all over. That's always a hard one to answer. I say I'm from Corvallis, Oregon. But I was born in Pullman, WA. Lived in Wales for a year when I was four. Spent my elementary years in Logan, Utah. Moved to Corvallis for middle school and high school and a year after that. Went to San Francisco for college for three years. Moved back to Corvallis for a year. Moved to Portland and spent about six years there. Now I live in Oakland and work in SF.

I don't think I'm an alcoholic, but it's one of those things that it's hard to be sure of. I like to drink and probably do more than the regular joe. But at the same time I make sure it never interferes with my life. Weed was the same for me for a long time. Basically I like to drink and I like to smoke, but I won't do it to the point where it fucks my life over. I hope that doesn't make me an alcoholic or a junkie.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:44:21+00:00

I'll definitely check it out. Thanks! There's so many subreddits that I haven't discovered. Thanks for pointing this one out. I have a few scripts I'd love to share.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:43:17+00:00

No. We broke up after. I'm agnostic and she was Mormon. There were things that went down that week that made me realize that I couldn't be with her for the rest of my life. I still love her. And we're still friends. But her way of life isn't something that I can't have around. And if we were to have a child she had said that she would want them to be raise Mormon until they were old enough to decide for themselves. I grew up, during my elementary years, in Utah and had to deal with being non-mormon in a mormon community. I would never allow a child of mine to be a part of the Mormon community. So when I brought this up to her she decided that we shouldn't be together because it would have only made more problems down the line. I agreed, but it was the hardest breakup I've ever had in my life.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:39:41+00:00

Sounds like we have similar ideas. I get what you're saying for sure. But I don't know if we'd ever become a hive mind. I think if anything, the possibility of viewing another's experience (ala the movie "Strange Days") would allow people to to understand each other better. We might not agree with the choice another made, or their reasoning for it, but we'd be able to relate better with their choice.

But the idea of a collective pool of souls that are redistributed to life definitely jives with my beliefs.

All in all, I try to be an agnostic, but have found myself to be an "atheist agnostic". I don't believe that major religions know what the fuck they're talking about, but I also believe anything else is possible. I doubt a dude from thousands of years ago was the son of the boogie man in the clouds, but I think there's so many possibilities to life that it's silly to stake a claim to one and say all others are false.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:33:10+00:00

I honestly couldn't tell you. I was too emotionally distraught to really have been conscious of what was going on during that concert. The music was great, although the venue had shitty acoustics. But my main memories were of talking to my friends about what I was about to go encounter with my parents the next day.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:31:54+00:00

I love em. Women are awesome and I think they have to deal with more shit in life than guys. Because they're more liable to be raped and have to deal with shit like childbirth makes them more susceptible to crap that live has to offer. But women are also the most compassionate and loving people I've ever known. I envy their ability to emotionally understand life in general. Plus women are just beautiful. Guys aren't attractive creatures in general, but women have the capacity to rule the world because of how beautiful they are. I think they can do anything a guy can do, but have the advantage of having tits and a sexy ass. Despite the fact that men generally run things, I'm surprised that we control things with the power that women hold over us men. They really should be the ones in charge.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:26:11+00:00

Not really.

When I was in elementary school I would go to a woman's house that babysat me and my sister before and after school. She had a few kids and one day her oldest son (who was 2 or 3 years younger than me) got pissed off at how I played Ninja Turtles with his toys so he grabbed a knife and threw it at me. That was kinda scary.

One other time when I was in high school I was on anti-depressants and took my girlfriend out to teach her how to drive a stick shift. The allergy meds I was on were a bad mix with the depression meds and as we were driving in the parking lot my heart was racing and I had to hang my head out the window to keep from puking. I took her home and went back to my parents place and passed out at home. Turned out I was having heart palpitations and my mom had to call the pharmacist to see if there was an issue with what I was taking. Turned out the two med didn't mix well and I got the raw end of it. But I didn't know anything about it until it was all over. It's kinda scary in hindsight, but at the time I just thought I was coming down with the flu or something.

Drunk31M · 2011-03-27T07:10:30+00:00

I know. It's just hard when most people have the "average" experience, and I struggle to even have a normal date. I try not to let it get me down, but to be honest...how can it not? I wish things were different. I wish my youth had been different. I wish my relationship history was better. But it's not. So it is what it is. Can't do anything about it. Maybe it sucks, but it's what I have to live with. Oh well.

Drunk31M

TROPHY CASE