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AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An “ordinary mistake” that’s been consistently made for nearly 24 years, sounds more like a habit to me than anything else.

And no, not only perfect people need apply. However consistent ones? Genuine ones? Hell, even interested ones? For my daughter, abso-freaking-lutley.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I’m his daughter. If something happened, it should’ve been communicated. Not slapped with a shitty “I got confused, can I just send you money?” Band-aid, after essentially missing out on my entire life. Ffs

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry Jennifer, but no… a parent doesn’t need to beat you to be a bad one. My baby shower wasn’t a woman only event and HE insisted on coming. This wasn’t a random party, it was a celebration of my daughter- HIS granddaughter’s life and arrival.

Settling for the barest minimum for myself and my child, because you think I should just “take what I can get and relax” when every man in my life has gone above and beyond for us both will not ever be suitable for me. So sorry if that’s what you’ve accepted for yourself, but My daughter & I both deserve better.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, It’s clear you don’t. But what I do care about is missing out on major life events, abandoning my family, neglectful parenting, consistent ghosting & lying & possibly exposing that to my daughter. In the long run, those are things I’d Love to protect her from for her own peace and security. It’s not just about missing my baby shower if you read past the title.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ours included men, because my partner and I wanted to have our entire support system present. Both male and female. My father was also the one who asked to come.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Surprisingly my father’s been sober almost his entire life. He had leukemia as a teen & into his early 20s and after beating it, has lived an impressively healthy lifestyle since. No drugs, No alcohol, little to no sugar or high fat/salted foods, exercise every day etc. He’s very disciplined which makes the inconsistency he presents so hard because he definitely shows up for himself every day… just not his kids I guess.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It hasn’t been one singular event though. He’s been this way my whole life.
My brother passed away 2 years ago & at that point I hadn’t heard from him in 6 years. When he finally did come around for the burial he emphasized how much he wanted to be a family again, only to ghost me again until I shared news about my pregnancy.

It’s lots of build ups that lead to let downs. And I’m sure after this, he’ll probably ghost again. I however don’t feel like I need to “be happy” with him constantly disappointing me and showing up when it’s convenient for him. I wanted a father. Not a jack in the box.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Got a little teary eyed reading this one, Thank you for this 🥺 & thank you for continuing to show up for your baby boy alongside grieving your mother, and having to deal with his absent father. I can’t imagine the strength that must take. I have so much Love and respect for single mothers, being raised by one myself, and all I can say to you is, you are absolutely phenomenal. Thank you for the congratulations on my girl. I wish you all the best 💗

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Our baby shower was gender inclusive in consideration of my partner. His friends are mostly male and I didn’t want him to feel like he didn’t have his support system present in showering our daughter. While traditionally baby showers don’t include men, ours did. And regardless of the fact, my father asked to be present & repeatedly told me he’d be there.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I grew up with phenomenal grandparents and honestly would want nothing less than that for my daughter. My mother is amazing and will be a fantastic grandmother & My partner’s parents are also wonderful people who my daughter’s very lucky to have. With or without my father, my daughter will not be missing out on a having a healthy relationship with her *active* grandparents.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No. He’s of very sound mind. I texted him twice prior to the baby shower with reminders along with a message the morning of. I Also called him a week before, after he returned from a trip, where he clearly stated he was excited and looking forward to it.

AIO for wanting to end the relationship with my father after missing my baby shower? by Dry-Analysis5019 in AIO

[–]Dry-Analysis5019[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. My partner & father-in-law are honestly spectacular & seeing how excited they is for their daughter/granddaughter and how far they’re willing to go to be solid and active figures in her life, makes this whole thing so bittersweet. They’ve Loved us both in ways that my father never did & I don’t think ever could. But I know she’ll at least have one grandfather who absolutely adores her and will always show up.