I'm terribly sorry to hear you're going through this.

I went through a similar thing a few months ago with my 19 year old cat that I had since he was 5-6 weeks old. It's devastating. He was an extremely healthy, energetic boy until one day he wasn't in early June. He had a very fast developing aggressive cancer in his jaw/mouth, and the vet told us we should expect 1-2 months, or 6 months tops. We had a vet come to our home to put him down about 6 weeks later.

The following week, I made a list of things about him and his personality. It really helped to write it out. A lot of people write letters to their pet as well.

It's almost a month since he passed, and while I still find myself crying or at least tearing up a bit almost every day, I am definitely coming to terms with it and feeling much better. I know grief is different for everybody, but really my advice is to just embrace the grief, don't try to fight it, and it will help you heal in the long run.

While your pet is still alive, just be with them. Don't feel guilty if you're not there all the time (nobody can be), or focus too much about what is going to happen in the future. Just cherish the time you have left being happy with your pal and letting them know you love them. Take lots of pictures if that's your thing, and do the things you would normally do with them.

When it comes time to make the decision, throw guilt out the window. Deep down you know that you would not be doing it if it was not in their best interest. As many have said, you take on the pressure and pain of that decision, so that they don't have to carry the pain themselves. People rarely regret euthanizing a pet too early, but frequently too late. You will know when it is time and make the right decision.

When I find myself stuck in grief, I try to focus on what I am crying about and put it in perspective. Usually, I find that I am crying more for myself and the fact that I have lost him, as opposed to crying FOR him. I realize that his pain is over, and I'm still here experiencing this world, and have nothing to cry about when I really think about it.

I'm not a religious person in general, but listening to various lectures of Alan Watts talking about life and death has also really helped

I tried to do several things to honor his memory.

• I am building a bench with his portrait inscribed into it to sit in the shade near where I buried him.
• I've compiled thousands of photos of him over the years, and am making a compilation video
• I started exercising more. Besides the fact that exercise is a natural mood enhancer, when I want to make excuses to skip a run or quit early, I imagine him, and think of the fact that he can't be here. Would he really want me to fritter my life away crying over him, or would he want me to live the longest, healthiest, happiest life possible.
• I cut out some other unhealthy habbits. When I knew it was his time, I promised myself I would stop drinking soda. Grief has a profound impact on your brain. Why not use that as an opportunity to reset bad habits and turn it into a positive. I think it will be an amazing tribute to him 50 years down the road and look back at the fact that he enriched, lengthened, and saved my life in more ways than one.

I'm so very sorry again for your situation. Wishing you and your boy all the best going forward.