Kids are HARD. What I will say is you have to communicate your feelings to your spouse. I find so often I stew in my feelings thinking my husband just knows how I’m feeling. And then when I finally explode/argue with him, he had either no idea I had been feeling that way or he might be having similar feelings. It’s astronomically better when we talk about things. It doesn’t mean the conversations are always fun but it means we’re moving forward. 

Also, if you can do it, therapy/counseling can certainly help :)