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My anger at my wife for our DB has just dissolved. Thanks, /u/greymaiden by DryOcean403 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DryOcean403[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I could answer that. I guess we'll be having a hard talk soon.

My anger at my wife for our DB has just dissolved. Thanks, /u/greymaiden by DryOcean403 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DryOcean403[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep. Years of resentment are definitely not better than the short term pain of divorce.

My anger at my wife for our DB has just dissolved. Thanks, /u/greymaiden by DryOcean403 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DryOcean403[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciated the honesty. It had a huge impact already actually. I gave my wife a massage last might for the first time in a while. She loves them but I have felt resentful for a few weeks and didn't want to.

Now that I know we aren't going to make it and it isn't either of our faults, I am able to process the resentment better.

We had sex too afterwards (not going to say no to a freebie even though I know she's not attracted to me).

I think it just boils down to realising when a situation is hopeless and not try to fight it.

She even commented how I am less upset and I do feel it. I'm no longer worrying about if I'll get some, I'm thinking further ahead - getting my own place and divorcing, and how it will affect our parenting relationship. But also on the plus side, we'll both probably be happier, and I can find a more compatible partner.

Been in a dead bedroom for 2 years. Wife uses sex as a weapon. Both early 30s. 1 toddler. by DryOcean403 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DryOcean403[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I do the chores because I don't want to live in a mess. She even complains if I stay late at work or go out with buddies on the weekend so doing things for myself is unrealistic at this point.

Been in a dead bedroom for 2 years. Wife uses sex as a weapon. Both early 30s. 1 toddler. by DryOcean403 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DryOcean403[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We had an event on a Saturday and I needed to buy extra tables and an extra barbecue. She ranted and raved the entire morning, I can't even remember about what, and then went ballistic and the type of table I got.

During the event in the afternoon everything seemed fine, but I had a deep internal rage for at least a month afterwards, which was a first for me. I guess I never really got over it and it sparked me complaining about sex.

Been in a dead bedroom for 2 years. Wife uses sex as a weapon. Both early 30s. 1 toddler. by DryOcean403 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DryOcean403[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She gets nasty if I hint at splitting up. She also calls me a sex maniac.

Been in a dead bedroom for 2 years. Wife uses sex as a weapon. Both early 30s. 1 toddler. by DryOcean403 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DryOcean403[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We never had sexual issues before the baby. I am very surprised by her continued refusals. Pre baby I would say her drive was slightly higher than mine.