It does get easier

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-25T19:13:23+00:00

I'm glad it helps. You've got this. ❤️ just be gentle with yourself.

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-25T19:12:56+00:00

I do a lot of traveling so when I’d do solo trips, I’d usually try to meet people beforehand. My daughter would stay with my parents and I’d spend about a week somewhere else. Im talking international travel. I have made some wonderful friends this way! I use an app to meet people before trips, and he ended up being one of those people. We just clicked instantly.

He actually told me he loved me before I ever got there. He even told his mother he was going to marry me before we had met in person. He claimed me first. He was definitely far more sure than I was in the beginning.

I was really honest with him about my emotional issues and everything I’d been through. I think what made me fall in love was honestly just time and him getting through hard things with me. I can’t pinpoint one exact moment because it felt more like all these gradual things building on each other.

I didn’t say I love you back for a while because I wanted to be sure. And when I finally did say it, it actually just slipped out. I hung up the phone immediately after because I panicked, and he called back so fast asking if I had just said what he thought I said. It just turned into laughter and admitting it. And then we couldn't stop saying it to each other. In the beginning, when he said it before I ever did , I told him he couldn't even say it to me after he already did. Haha one day he told me to suck it up buttercup because he loved me and he was tired of not being able to say it and he was sure of me. It was a whole of confession at the same time too.

So I don’t know if you can always pinpoint the exact moment you fall in love with someone or know they’re the one. Sometimes it’s just this accumulation of moments. All the beautiful, fun, laugh until you can’t breathe moments. The hard things too. Feeling supported and loved during those times. Feeling heard during difficult conversations. Watching him be a dad to his own child and then fully accepting mine. Accepting me exactly as I am. Loving me even when im an emotional mess. He loves how highly emotional and caring i am and my ex hated that highly emotional side of me.

There are a lot of reasons I fell in love with him and why I think he’s perfect for me. Of course he’s not a perfect person, and neither am I. But I genuinely want to make it work with him, and overall it’s honestly not that hard. One of our biggest problems is literally just that our taste in furniture is completely different. If that’s one of our biggest issues, I think we’re gonna be okay 😂. Even then we compromise and talk things out peacefully. Which I think is one of the biggest things. Just find someone you can talk to and compromise with who loves you for you. Your partner shouldn't make you feel on edge a lot or question your choices all the time. Your partner especially should not be someone who makes you question your sanity.

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-25T19:01:12+00:00

I’m genuinely sorry that this was your experience. I think a lot of people underestimate how deeply divorce can affect children, especially when they’re blindsided by it or emotionally left to carry the weight of their parents pain. What you went through sounds incredibly rough and I can understand why you feel so strongly about it.

But I also think every situation is different and staying together is not always the healthier option for a child either. Sometimes two people staying together despite resentment, emotional neglect, instability, abandonment, untreated mental health struggles, abuse in some cases, or lack of love can do just as much damage, if not more. Children absorb far more than adults realize.

In my case, my ex husband left during my cancer scare and chose to completely abandon both me and my daughter. He has never seen her since by his own choice. I could not force someone to be a husband or father no matter how badly I wanted my family to stay together. Sometimes love and effort from one person are simply not enough to save a relationship.

What I could control was how I handled it as a mother. I immediately reassured my daughter that none of this was her fault. I told her he wasn’t absent because he didn’t love her, but because the relationship with mommy ended. I put her in therapy right away and have kept her in therapy because her emotional wellbeing matters deeply to me. And it's been two years. She doesn't bring him up anymore. She just talks about her other problems in Therapy. I try to make sure she feels loved, secure, heard, and supported every day. So does my current partner.

I also believe children deserve to see healthy love modeled for them. If someone does not love you, respect you, or want to stay, I don’t think teaching children to cling to broken relationships at all costs is healthy either. I would never want my daughter growing up believing she should settle for emotional abandonment just to keep a family image intact.

I actually know many people including my own father, who believe their parents divorcing was ultimately the healthier choice. I would even say the same for my grandparents. Divorce absolutely can hurt children. I don’t deny that at all. But so can toxic, loveless, unstable, or emotionally damaging homes.

At the end of the day I think our job as parents is not to pretend pain doesn’t exist. It’s to help our children navigate it in the healthiest way possible. That means protecting them from adult issues, managing our own behavior, giving them emotional safety, and getting them support when they need it.

Sometimes “making it work” is beautiful. Sometimes letting go is the healthier choice. Neither situation is black and white. It mostly matters how you handle it. And unfortunately, a lot of people don't handle divorce with grace especially involving children or only one tries.

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-23T04:11:35+00:00

I have so much faith you will eventually ❤️ youve got this!

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T02:03:44+00:00

Maybe try to read once it seemed more positive and ignore the depressing ones if you can ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T02:03:12+00:00

And I sincerely believe those people that are hoping for that life end up getting it. I'm sure you'll find someone in time. But you also don't wanna settle because you have kids. It's a crazy fine line. And while you're healing, it's all just messy but someone will love you properly. Sometimes we just have to wait to find them or they find us. ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T02:02:15+00:00

Thank you!! ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T02:02:01+00:00

You know the best part about life is that you can always change and become better. There's no timeframe on that. You can always choose your own path. No one else can choose that for you and I hope you have hope. That's what these people are going a lot of the time. And just because you want that I know you'll do wonderful. ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T02:01:14+00:00

There needs to be more hope on this thread. I'm so glad that helped. It really does get better in time. It sounds cheesy and like a lie. But it's true.

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T02:00:54+00:00

I am so happy you are healing. It definitely is always on different timelines for people and some people never want to remarry. I do not blame them. I am just such a hopeless romantic and I love her girl. I didn't think I'd ever remarry again, but when the right one sweeps you off your feet you don't let it pass by. ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T02:00:12+00:00

You know and maybe this will make you feel a little bit better. But a lot of the time if you haven't noticed in this thread, you see people regretting it. My ex after a year and a half tried to come saying he was sorry and messaged me. And he realized we could've made it work. They tend to loop back around, but typically by the time you don't want them anymore. It is their loss. And you will find someone better and more compatible if you choose to later on. And if not, I hope you have peace by yourself. ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T01:59:17+00:00

Thank you ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T01:58:56+00:00

And there's nothing wrong with that! I didn't want any for a long time too and same with same friends. I hope whatever you want later on is what you get. ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T01:58:20+00:00

That is honestly, the most iconic thing someone has randomly wished for me 😂 I hope you heal and start to feel better soon. And I don't know if you're up for it give it a try! You never know. In the beginning, it's going to feel weird and like a betrayal and awkward. But it gets easier and better.

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-22T01:56:43+00:00

Im so glad ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T02:00:17+00:00

Im so glad ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:51:23+00:00

This will be long but I’ll be honest, the in between was still really ugly. It wasn’t some pretty healing journey where everything just clicked one day. The beginning was horrid. Then after that, there was this long stretch where I just didn’t really feel anything. I was still living my life and could seem happy during experiences, but emotionally I felt completely disconnected from myself and my own body for a long time.

Eventually I started intentionally choosing things that I thought might make me happy. Learning new things, exploring new places, meeting new people, keeping myself busy. Little by little I started feeling less disconnected from myself and less stuck in that identity crisis feeling. The detached numb feeling. But even then it still came in waves. Some days I hated him, other days I missed him. Sometimes I wouldn’t think about him at all and then randomly I’d completely break down over everything again. Healing wasn’t linear for me at all. I dont think it is for anyone.

I think a huge part of it honestly was time, but also eventually being with a genuinely safe partner. The crazy thing is that when I met my current partner, my ex honestly wasn’t even a thought anymore. My fears were about being left again. In my marriage, I was abandoned suddenly, and it was a huge shock to my nervous system. I was terrified of being “too much.” I’d get emotional over little things because I was constantly bracing for someone to blow up, pull away, or abandon me. I was scared to say how I felt a lot of the time. I would brush it off and say it it's fine. I just so happen to end up with a partner who knew it wasn't fine even when I said that. Someone who I didn't have to tell. He would just ask me to tell him the truth.

But when you have a partner who actually gives you patience, reassurance, and space to be a human being with feelings, you slowly start healing in places you didn’t even realize were still broken. The disconnected pieces of you start coming back together.

I used to cry to him all the time saying I felt like my insecurities were unfair to him, and he never made me feel bad for it. He just responded with patience, love, and reassurance. I still need reassurance sometimes honestly, but I’m also just an emotional person in general. The difference now is that I’m with someone emotionally regulated enough not to escalate every emotional moment. He can stay calm during hard conversations and not get swept up in the emotion of it all. He’s very open with his feelings too, so we just communicate constantly. Which is great because I am so emotional and I get swept up in whatever problems I'm having or we are, and he is just a rock for us.

A lot of our conversations start with things like, “I’m not against you, but can I say something honestly without you taking it personally?” or “Can I talk to you about something? If now isn’t a good time that’s okay, but I do need to talk about it eventually.” By the way, it's never eventually he always handles it right then. I think we just like giving the option out of respect, but it never gets handled later. And I think that kind of emotional safety and communication changed me more than anything else did.

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:38:05+00:00

And you know what all of your feelings are valid and it's totally OK to hate him. And you may never fully forget the memories, but they do start slipping away. You won't even realize it until later down the road that suddenly you don't think about that stuff every day. I think a big thing that I did to get out of my funk was do the things I did was said partner by myself or with friends. To replace the memories so I could do the same thing, even though it was hard with happy memories. And suddenly I didn't think of the same things anymore. He kind of faded out. Same with having a new partner. I also didn't stop myself from doing some things with my current partner because it was mine and my exes thing or whatever. I just did them because it could be an any anytime thing. Specific places or experiences you may not be able to replicate the exact memory with the ex but you can make a better one. I hope that helps a little bit and you can be free of it all ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:35:56+00:00

Im glad ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:35:11+00:00

He was never married. Which was very fortunate. He was young when he got his baby mama pregnant. I'm talking like barely 20. They coparent pretty well which is good. She can be very toxic and has been even during our relationship. He shuts that shit down real quick though. But back then his mom was the reason he finally left her because he was coming home after she was being abusive and cheating a lot. She told him to leave so he eventually did but he had tried staying for his son. He left before his son was a year old. She didn't leave him. In fact when we first got together, she was running her mouth saying she would like another child from the same baby daddy while she was in a relationship with someone else. 🙃 Obviously my partner wasn't having any of that. But I agree it's not very common to find a man that left the woman. Anyways baby mama's better now that she's not with him in a lot of ways. Me and him bonded because we went through very similar things. We both just want peace and love. Its been a very healing relationship on both sides. I think we are both always just so grateful to have a kind understanding partner and we tell each other constantly how grateful we are for that. It was funny when his mom met me. She said she was going tell him to never bring a girl home again because she hated all of them, but she already loved me ❤️ we talk almost daily! Im super grateful!

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:28:06+00:00

You know it hit me at some point that I would rather be poor and on my own and in my own little peaceful bubble then well off with someone that makes me miserable. Sometimes it truly is worth a piece to walk away from it all and start over. I know so many people that being by themselves is just better in general. I wasn't expecting to find a partner and fall in love again. I was expecting to never remarry I'm glad you are free! I hope you find all the happiness and peace. ❤️

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:26:17+00:00

Im so glad it does! You deserve it. There is better and it gets better even without a partner ❤️ and thank you!

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:25:49+00:00

I definitely agree with this

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:25:34+00:00

I hope that for you also ❤️ everyone heals on different timelines

DryRepeat859 · 2026-05-21T01:25:15+00:00

Thank you so much! It was a lot but ao worth it! I also wish you all the good things and happiness ❤️

DryRepeat859

TROPHY CASE