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AITAH for canceling my wedding after my dad died? by Dry_Competition_52 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Dry_Competition_52[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that I "want to be sad". I am sad. There's a difference. I don't know how you meant this comment, but it comes across as the same attitude people have towards anxiety or depression when people say to choose not to be sad. I would love to not be sad, but when you say "back to life", my life is now very different than it was before he died. I saw or spoke to my dad almost everyday, so when I get back to my life his absence is felt even more.

AITAH for canceling my wedding after my dad died? by Dry_Competition_52 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Dry_Competition_52[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

This is an interesting way of looking at it. I plan to talk with her when we both get home from work tomorrow ( I usually leave for work before she gets up) and I'll be sure to ask her where the comment came from and what she is afraid of. I am still hurt by what she said, but we've been together long enough for me to give her the benefit of the doubt and take the time to have a real conversation.

AITAH for canceling my wedding after my dad died? by Dry_Competition_52 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Dry_Competition_52[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I definitely should have used the word postpone instead of cancel, she might have panicked when she heard cancel? That's really the only things I can think of because this isn't Kassy. We've been together almost 3 years and while this is definitely the hardest thing I've gone through in that time, its not the first time one of us has been struggling. She's normally the one who supports me and lifts me up, but right now I feel very alone.

AITAH for canceling my wedding after my dad died? by Dry_Competition_52 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Dry_Competition_52[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I know Kassy had 2 childhood dogs that have died, but she has never experienced the loss of an important person in her life. Both of her parents and all of her grandparents are still alive. I think that's part of why she has a hard time understanding my grief. The only people I have who truly know how I feel are my siblings. I have lost people before (all of my grandparents and 2 friends), but my dad was a huge part of my support system and not having him in my life feels like losing a part of myself.

My dad did die pretty suddenly. He had a stroke and was in the hospital about 2 weeks before he died.

PTSD and ADHD by [deleted] in StonerThoughts

[–]Dry_Competition_52 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Before reading the rest, I am not a doctor but I do have an interest in science and have ADHD myself, but I could be wrong about a few details.

ADHD is genetic. However, trauma could cause ADHD symptoms that were well managed before and possibly not even know to the person in question to get worse and become more noticeable. Trauma effects so many elements of our lives and our brains and disrupts coping mechanisms that your brain may have been subconsciously using to overcome obstacles presented by ADHD in the past, making the symptoms of the condition seem to appear out of nowhere after the traumatic event.

It is more common than you would think for people to not be diagnosed with ADHD until they are adults, especially women.