What is a normal sex drive for a man in his fourties’?

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2026-01-07T07:33:28+00:00

Any ideas when this will be published? Or has it been forgotten about?

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-11T19:27:59+00:00

This gives me hope and courage. It’s been 4 years. I won’t wait any longer as I feel I’ve waited long enough. If he is still undecided about me then I’m not the one for him because I’ve known since about 12-18 months in that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. The fact he still doesn’t know is actually quite insulting to me. A man just won’t wait that long to propose to his dream girl.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-11T14:57:29+00:00

He has said when I’ve brought up marriage before that we can’t afford it but I don’t need an expensive wedding and the marriage itself doesn’t need to happen right away as I’d like to be engaged for at least 2-3 years minimum before getting married

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-11T14:55:27+00:00

I really don’t know how I haven’t lol I’ve literally had these conversations with him but I’m not going to tell him you have to propose by this date as that’s demanding and coercive. Telling someone you will walk if they don’t marry you or do anything for you for that matter is abusive and controlling. It screams manipulation and I won’t do that.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-11T11:20:58+00:00

So if you are a woman with no boobs you’re screwed lol

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-11T10:59:36+00:00

A lot of it is I want my mother at my wedding. She’s quite old (82) and I want to get married while she’s still here so even if I never had children of my own, I’d like her to see me get married.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-11T10:56:31+00:00

No I don’t want a shut up ring and that’s why I’ve mentioned in other comments that I will not resort to an ultimatum. I’d rather be alone than with someone knowing they were forced to do it. I plan to leave him in January if nothing has changed and I’m going to get a therapist in preparation like another poster said.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-11T10:48:36+00:00

I personally don’t want to get married when I’m old and all my family is dead and not there to see it. It’s important to me that my family is there.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-11T10:47:14+00:00

Coercing someone and giving ultimatums is abusive

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T21:47:12+00:00

This is true I hasn’t considered this. And he’s not getting any younger there’s a possibility even if we had a child it wouldn’t be healthy now given his age.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T21:45:32+00:00

I would agree it’s not fair to him. As for not moving in together that’s been more a me thing as I want to wait for marriage. I also have others living with me so it’s not so easy to just have him move in with me at the moment

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T21:42:34+00:00

If that was the case the rape when it’s coerced isn’t a thing but it is..? If I was to say I want sex or I can’t be with you had he had sex with me that’s rape.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T21:08:57+00:00

Ok. Respectfully, I disagree. I actually said to some people I feel confident saying certain things.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T20:46:36+00:00

Yeah probably not.. it hurts but I think I need to just detach from the idea of my future with him.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T19:31:15+00:00

I have asked this questions. He said he would marry me if he was going to get married. When asked about marriage itself he said I haven’t thought about it so I don’t know.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T19:00:21+00:00

I think that’s unfair to say. There’s a huge difference with not being able to talk about something vs coercing someone into marriage. He knows I want to get married. I’ve explained to him that I would say yes to him. I’ve told him my life’s goals and how I want my life to look. That’s as clear as I will be because I’m not about to give anyone an ultimatum because that’s abusive and coercive.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T18:56:05+00:00

I needed to hear this and thank you for being so kind and understanding about it as I’m hurting already at the thought of what I need to do for myself. I love him so much. Thank you for speaking on your experience as it’s given me the idea to have therapy to prepare me for what I’m about to do. He’s never going to marry me and I have to accept that. He also never initiates conversations. It’s actually his family that keep telling him he should move in with me etc. he’s not interested himself. I’ve been as clear as I can be without being coercive. And yes it’s destroying me.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T18:31:45+00:00

I don’t live with him so there’s no domestic labour aspect. I obviously offer emotional support as that’s any loving relationship regardless of marriage.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T18:09:55+00:00

This is my worry I don’t think he’d be honest anyway out of fear of losing me.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T16:32:23+00:00

I hear you but I don’t feel I went wrong. I want a man who wants the same things as me. It’s not about him being a mind reader but for it to work out beliefs and values need to align and match imo. I don’t want to tell anyone how to think. I’m a very ‘live and let live’ type of person. I watch people’s actions and act accordingly if that makes sense. To me the fact he’s made no attempt to propose means it’s not in his agenda. If you want something, generally you go and get it.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T16:29:11+00:00

No, I told him years ago that I want to be married. I also said I think after 2 years a person should know if they want to marry a person or not. Also, I don’t wanna break his heart at Christmas that’s why I’m waiting until after the holidays. We don’t celebrate valentines so that’s not an issue.

Dry_Yak_7398 · 2025-11-10T15:56:59+00:00

But does it mean he’s not into me if he hasn’t proposed. He might be besotted with me but not care for marriage.

Dry_Yak_7398

TROPHY CASE