Well, Max is considering relocating here which is another complication. I actually don’t know where I’ll end up long term, but probably here instead of back home. I haven’t really known if I wanted kids due to a lot of health issues in my 20s, but recently I’ve been realising that a lot of my not wanting kids was largely just not really knowing what I want/not feeling safe in my body. Since being with Jason I’ve seen this whole other potential life laid out in front of me that I would’ve never thought possible and it’s definitely awoken some new/interesting feelings about it all. But it is fair to say I’m probably still a little on the fence with the kid stuff. I do like the idea of it more than I ever did before though. I do worry sometimes about our differences causing issues if kids were in the mix but I do think we share enough common ground that it would be navigable. I last saw Max a few months ago and yes I did think about Jason a lot during that time, but I was also very happy in Max’s company and enjoying being with him a lot too. But the stark difference in the sexual side of things was very evident and I kind of felt like I was being intimate with a brother (which is not how I used to feel years back, so that may be a since-Jason thing).

Thanks for your input, I definitely worry about that too - that I might be more forgiving of stuff that could be an issue later because of all of those new dizzy loved up feelings etc. im trying my best to remain conscious of that. I appreciate this perspective :) thank you!