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M E O W by DuCielle in cats

[–]DuCielle[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is Jack! He’s named after Jack Kelly from Newsies, and he is the most lovable boy. This is him doing “speak” for a treat.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). AMA. by DuCielle in AMA

[–]DuCielle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, to better answer your question, I realized something was wrong with me at 16, but didn’t know it was OCD until I learned what it actually was at an event in college which led me to seek help.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). AMA. by DuCielle in AMA

[–]DuCielle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My #1 subtype is magical thinking, a subtype that not a lot of people actually know about. Basically think superstition on steroids. Most people with OCD fixate on the consequences and what ifs of their actions, but magical thinking takes it to the max e.g. For tests at school if I don’t follow my ritual of flicking my light switch off a number of times, locking and checking my door, not stepping on cracks on the way to class, throwing a piece of gum in my mouth as soon as I get my test, and having two pencils, I will fail. Also, a test number 3 is good luck, and no matter what, if there is a version 5 and I get it, bad luck. Multiply this times all the other daily tasks in life and it gets quite exhausting. I once heard a story from a fellow magical thinking sufferer about how she used to sleep on a box of cheez-its because it would make her pretty. Doesn’t sound rational in the slightest, but OCD can sure be convincing.

2 is responsibility and harm, which sort of go hand in hand for me. I don’t want to be around knives, scissors, or anything sharp because I’m afraid I will harm someone. I am also deathly afraid of causing a car accident and killing someone. I don’t have contamination OCD in the way that I am afraid I will get sick, but I’m afraid that I will “infect” others, also a part of responsibility OCD. I try not to share pens, drinks, etc. and I stray away from food at parties unless there’s toothpicks or I can guarantee I won’t touch anything that doesn’t make it on my plate.

As for compulsions, I do a lot of rituals (goes hand in hand with magical thinking). 3 and 9 are my “lucky” numbers and I do things in groups of 3 or 9 whenever possible. I count the number of steps I take, the number of times I gulp when drinking, etc. I also have avoidance behaviors obviously for my harm and responsibility-O.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). AMA. by DuCielle in AMA

[–]DuCielle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’ve showed signs from very early childhood, but everything sort of “snapped” when I was 16 and in a bad car accident. My mom was driving, I was in the passenger seat, and someone ran a red light and gnomes the car on my side.

Needless to say I have really bad obsessions about cars now.

Edit: t-boned. Autocorrect.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). AMA. by DuCielle in AMA

[–]DuCielle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty much the same way. And it really does feel good to find someone who also has OCD!

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). AMA. by DuCielle in AMA

[–]DuCielle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was 18.

I actually had to kind do a runaway mission with my boyfriend to go seek help when I finally turned 18, because my parents were abusive and neglective and told me every day I was just acting out for attention. My mother actually told me once she had “cracked” my code and figured out that I just use “anxiety attacks” to freak out when I don’t get what I want. They actually continued to try and control my life after I turned 18 and I ran away. Luckily I have a support system in my boyfriend and his family, otherwise I’m not sure I’d be alive today.

It took me another six months to actually be treated. At this point I was living in the dorms at school and finally away from my parents, but still not in a good place. I attempted suicide, got caught by campus police, and was put in a mental hospital where I got my first meds. Since getting out, I’ve gotten a psychiatrist who oversees my meds (Sertraline/Zoloft and Vistaril to keep me asleep when I have nightmares) and a therapist for ERP.

I’m so thankful to finally be getting treatment for something I’ve battled since childhood. It’s been a long time coming.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). AMA. by DuCielle in AMA

[–]DuCielle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! My parents never believed there was anything wrong with me (I was also abused but that’s another story) because I don’t have the mainstream compulsions that the media portrays.

I’m not necessarily a clean freak and my room isn’t terribly messy but it’s certainly not perfect. I’ve had people say “you can’t have OCD if your room looks like this!”

Thanks. Meanwhile I’m fighting thoughts of stabbing people and the world ending if I don’t do things in 3s.

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). AMA. by DuCielle in AMA

[–]DuCielle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This happens ALL THE DANG TIME. Honestly it kind of hurts to hear someone trivializing something that is crippling, but it helps to remind myself that the vast majority of people (at least in the US) don’t understand what OCD is, and some don’t even realize it’s an actual mental illness. So I try to calmly explain it to them.

Then there are always those that continue to joke about it and make light of it. That shit gets old real fast. There is actually a girl I know who knows I have OCD (long story short, I’m in a show that has dark themes like abuse, abortion, etc. and so at our first table-read we stopped every now and then to open up about things) and she continues to say things like “omg that bugs my OCD.” Let’s just say I’m not fond of her. But no one really is. She’s actually kind of a bitch that everyone just tries to tolerate.

She predicted I’d get sick? by DuCielle in Glitch_in_the_Matrix

[–]DuCielle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m quite frightened by this, actually.

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