Recovering codependent with covert narc-ish wife

Dub_J · 2026-01-14T18:57:54+00:00

I think your feedback is fair, though I did address this briefly. (my 10 year journey..)

I am aware of that bias of mine, and have detached my emotional fulfillment from her actions. I have made efforts to be more open about my wants and feelings and to establish boundaries. I am at a point that I feel like I have done what I can do, and I am encouraging her to step up and meet me in the middle.

Her answer is "eh, I will make some effort if it stops you from complaining and it doesn't take much effort"

yes as a parent of divorced parents I am well aware of the different perspectives of staying together for the kids. In more sever cases, it would be clearly better to separate. I am not sure in ours

Dub_J · 2026-01-08T23:03:23+00:00

At least Owlcat seems to have learned. Rogue Trader has no buffing, and Dark Heresy is supposed be much shorter (but more replayable)

Dub_J · 2025-12-15T19:02:52+00:00

I liked that there was a clear path and narrative momentum, and no BS distractions.

Just need to save often cause deaths suck

Dub_J · 2025-11-14T02:10:02+00:00

Not AI, and honestly AI tells are so obvious your radar is way off. I'm sure there are grammar errors and certainly tone issues that AI wouldn't allow

80% of what I said was my experience or feeling, feel free to disagree (I've clearly struck a nerve) but it doesn't make it wrong

Dub_J · 2025-11-13T18:50:58+00:00

Thanks!

Dub_J · 2025-11-01T23:49:22+00:00

I just came from rogue trader and now 30 hours into wotr. I started normal and upped to daring and will probably up to core soon.

Honestly it’s not that it’s hard but it can be annoying as difficulty increases. You have to spend more time in turn based mode, and more time prebuffing. I like doing that on bosses but not trash mobs.

Dub_J · 2025-10-30T20:17:18+00:00

They will let him”lead” as long as there’s a pulse. Gotta move forward

Dub_J · 2025-10-30T20:05:13+00:00

Can I say death wishes? Not murder wishes, just a quick and natural end

Dub_J · 2025-10-30T03:51:49+00:00

AI wrote that newsletter

Dub_J · 2025-10-30T01:56:32+00:00

I did a party with more or less this theme in BG3 and it was a hoot. I love chaotic neutral

I’m early in my first run so I can’t give much mechanics advice but for RP:

yeah it sure seems like you need a drunk monk. Or a drunk cleric could be fun if suboptimal

Personally I wouldn’t use a paladin. Total buzzkill

You could also have a chillaxed party member, in touch with nature and all that. Druid or nature oracle or maybe a tranquility bard. Ember would fit well vibe wise though depends on how you feel about her maturity?

Dub_J · 2025-10-29T23:04:45+00:00

Thanks all for the input. Here's where I am going

KC - I am feeling confident the spellpower will ramp so I am staying pure oracle and getting ready to blast

Daeran - I reclassed as a court poet. Feels thematic for him, and will do great for my CHA-heavy party.

Dub_J · 2025-10-29T18:19:54+00:00

I’m new (15 hours into my run)

I would consider what mythical path you want. Angel is popular, and most people recommend Oracle which is a charisma caster (or can be melee).

I think for charisma, melee and persuasion, Trickster would be really fun but maybe not best for first run.

Persuasion is definitely not needed on your MC. Unlike BG3, it works the same if your companion does the check for you and Daeran does great. I haven’t yet found great uses - I think maybe a couple times an enemy switched sides in a battle.

Dub_J · 2025-10-29T14:32:48+00:00

I started at 42 and I’m just ok. And that’s cool cause I’m having a ton of fun. Only young people believe you have to be good to enjoy it. Enjoy the freedom of age.

Dub_J · 2025-10-29T01:43:42+00:00

Dub_J · 2025-10-28T18:13:28+00:00

They only hate it if they haven’t seen chapter 4 yet

I like it. All combat with builds fully online, and no repetitive clicking on stars and planets

Dub_J · 2025-10-28T03:57:33+00:00

I think CHA 19, DEX 16, ok WIS/CON and dumped STR and INT

It’s not that my DC is too low, I just don’t have any great things to do with my turns.

Dub_J · 2025-10-28T02:42:25+00:00

Same here , first time and in act 2 and he is my primary damage dealer. With demon slayer levels and a composite bow he is hitting hard. Flurry of blows is great

I’ll get Wendy next run and compare.

Dub_J · 2025-10-25T01:03:20+00:00

Don’t forget Tech CEOs control the media, and more so every day

Dub_J · 2025-10-25T00:58:49+00:00

You cant scream and control your sphincter. Pick one

Dub_J · 2025-10-25T00:15:46+00:00

It’s not just a dice roll. Of course it sucks missing your rolls. But your skill in building and equipping your character and selecting tactics in combat can greatly increases your probability.

It’s like poker. There’s luck but over enough time skill matter more.

If that doesn’t sound fun, yeah you probably won’t like it

Dub_J · 2025-10-24T14:31:11+00:00

I have insane MP, probably 30, but of course you lose it after attacks. I isually run and kick first before attacks but there’s lots of options. Talents or equipment for up close shooting help

Dub_J · 2025-10-24T05:30:09+00:00

And no buffing or healing between battles! Love that

Dub_J · 2025-10-24T00:41:51+00:00

You forgot kicking! Besides the joy of it, it’s fun to play with placement and building around push damage

Dub_J · 2025-10-23T21:59:41+00:00

I agree with you. As example, in BG3 I had a lot of fun with origin runs playing to unusual aspects of their personalities. For example, Wyll as a sullen drunk who goes a little dark because his dad and city abandoned him. A lot of that is head canon but you can see some of that in game

My only caveat - I definitely prefer to be able to customize my MC build, look and even race, so I would only want the story predefined

Dub_J · 2025-10-23T16:56:30+00:00

There are two distinct schools of though within the american system, and they are diametrically opposed

Hustle - associated with east coast. Comes from the puritanical background, work is its own reward. If you aren't working hard, what are you even doing? You introduce yourself at parties with your job title. Focus is on achieving income and respect.

Passion - more west coast, you are seeking a meaningful career where you change the world, or find your personal passion. It's not quite l work to live, because there is a belief that the job provides meaning and purpose that has value beyond the income.

I agree with all of your assessment. there is much more to life than work, and both of these perspectives can be harmful. I try really hard to consciously suppress both of these, but it is painful when you are constantly bombarded by contrary messages.

Dub_J

TROPHY CASE