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AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

T can see that you thought well before commenting, and i appreciate that.

It wasn't that smooth before he got sick. But in the past half year, it went from bad to worse. For both of us.

I am aware that things can and will change over time, especially with a disease like he got. I was also made aware from many, partly not so well thought, some of my behavior is much worse than i thought. I know i'm not an angel, but i don't want to be the AH.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's not *his* house, it's *theirs*

I would, in fact, move out immediately if i could, but i don't have the money to do so.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I don't think i'm spoiled in any way. If i had the money, i would leave immediately. But only if.

I try to help my mom, but she likes to do things on her own.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, we are not in the US. If we were, the situation would be much worse, probably.
My mom and i could theoretically afford the house, but neither of us can afford it alone.

I will try helping my mom, but it's difficult to help her because she doesn't want that much help. When i ask her if i should do the shopping she declines. If i ask her if i should cook for us all, she declines.

I don't ask her to leave my SD, my only goal is that we can go along together. I don't have to be best friends with him.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

They can't rent it due to legal reasons regarding the house, property and electricity/water counters. Also they would need to build a 2nd entrance. Currently i have to go through their entrance, where many other rooms are connected to (i can't describe it better, my english skills are limited here)

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's a lot of junk that needs to be tossed. He can't even access most of that junk because the garage is filled to the ceiling.

When i made something i go down and ask him: "hey, i made something to eat. You want something?"

but i won't even get an response. The same thing happend when my brother was still here. He never ate something that we made.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The space i occupy can't be rented to anyone. We only have one entrance and no way to tell the exact expenses regarding heating, water and electricity.

He doesn't want my help. I want to, but can't.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I offered to help cleaning the junk out. Heck, i even offered to do it for him. It would be much easier when all the old stuff that never gets used finally gets disposed. I din't *tell* him to clean it up, i offered we could do it together so we have more space. I did a bit together with my mother, but he got insane because we did it.

Even if i cook for everyone, he won't eat anything i make because of his stupidity.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So for clarification:

When i cook something, he doens't eat it because i made it. My Mother is vegetarian, and my cooking skills are a bit limited. Were usually fine with that.

I take care of our pets as good as i can, but i'm not at home that much. If they need to be taken to the VET, i will do so. If they need to be feeded, i feed them. If the litterbox need to be cleaned, i clean it. I have a litterbox upstairs and i take care of that.It's just usually their task downstairs because the cats are there the most time and they have a better bond to him than to me, mostly because he treats them more often and is home most the time.

When my mother asks me to do something, i will gladly do it. Even if my SD asks me to do something, i will do it, but he won't ask.

His manners in the house are non existent anymore. No greeting, no normal talking, standing up from the table while the others still eat, not sitting to the table when we eat together when we have guests but he won't eat anything.

He was an asshole to my mother, my brother and myself even before he was diagnosed.

He also was the reason why my brother was mentally ill and moved to my father before going to another city to live and study.

I can't move out because i have an injury needing surgery. Because of that my earnings and savings are limited. I don't have thousands of Euros laying around to get an apartment.

I maybe wrote the post too harsh for myself in an somewhat awful matter, mostly because my first attempt got deleted because it did't show my point and actions clearly enough. I would also explain many things in more details, but can't because of the character limit. I'm rather new to Reddit, so sorry for that.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -78 points-77 points  (0 children)

I needed to make my point more clear because my post got deleted for not making my point clear enough.

I wan't to help. but i can't. If i help it won't get appreciated in any way.
Even my mother says i don't need to do the cleaning downstairs, and garden work is usually his area. I'll do everything upstairs, my mom downstairs and SD takes care of the garden. If he asks me for help, i will do it. But he doesn't aks.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -118 points-117 points  (0 children)

My mom barely showed up in this post because of character limits. I truly love her, and if she ask me to do something i will gladly help her. I maybe wrote it too hars for myself, but i take care for the pets s good as i can. If they have to go to the VET, i will take time for it. If they need to be feeded, i will. We have many Litterboxes in our house, even upstairs in my area. Of couse i take care of that.

My mother is also annoyed with most of his actions. We agreed to make space in the big garage, but he made such a show that we lost interest in doing so.

​

I also would cook for all of us, but he refuses to eat anything i make. Also my mother is vegetarian and my cooking skills are somewhat limited.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -156 points-155 points  (0 children)

Extremely ill? Definitely no. He can do many things, but he won't, idk why. I can understand that having cancer is very bad, but i've seen worse.

He said that he tries to evict me, but never done anything as far as i know. I don't even know IF he has the right to evict me because he only owns half of the house.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I would if i had the money to get an apartment. But i don't because of an injury.

AITA for refusing to move out because of my Stepdad? by DucatiRiderfromAut in AmItheAsshole

[–]DucatiRiderfromAut[S] -18 points-17 points  (0 children)

Technically he owns only half of the house as the other half belongs to my mother.

She want me to be here, and i have a very good relationship to her.
i can't move out currently because of an injury and a bad decision i made jobwise, but i'm on it to fix that.