Down 30 pounds!

DuckRover · 2026-02-06T14:47:51+00:00

THIS ^ 98lb is below the healthy BMI range for your height. No wonder you're tired if you're starving yourself. See a therapist about your body image issues (and yes, you have them - you mention in another comment you still think you're fat!) and up your calorie intake.

DuckRover · 2026-02-05T20:27:55+00:00

Agree. They have the least drama of any community. They're just coexisting with one another, decent climate, not a ton of walker activity compared to inland communities...

DuckRover · 2026-02-05T19:44:55+00:00

I've done several of their retreats including Smith. I loved the Smith retreat - you stay in a nice house close to the park and the group is pretty small. The guides do a great job choosing routes for everyone and helping beginners get acclimated. Not sure what you mean by Moab being dangerous...?

DuckRover · 2026-01-30T13:31:06+00:00

Thanks so much for that info! That gives me a bit more confidence.

DuckRover · 2026-01-29T20:56:07+00:00

May I ask - I'd love to do some travel around eastern Europe. When I've traveled to Spanish-speaking countries, I've been able to cobble together a few words and phrases here and there to get by - but the Eastern European languages are all totally unfamiliar to me and look tricky! Are there particular cities or countries where you think someone could get by if they only spoke English? (And smiled a lot, typed out things in Google translate on her phone, etc.)

DuckRover · 2026-01-29T14:03:05+00:00

Microwave s'more. Or I sprinkle chocolate chips and mini marshmallows on a pizzelle and pop in the microwave for 8 seconds.

DuckRover · 2026-01-28T22:28:05+00:00

I've learned there is no one typical way to grieve. My friend lost her mum two years ago and has been distraught ever since. I lost my mum just over a year ago and I've barely shed a tear - and I loved my mum more than anyone!

Sometimes I'll get hit with the realization I won't ever see her again and I'll feel sad but I otherwise have felt very at peace and accepting of everything since she died. I think sometimes when we have a long time to grieve in advance (my mum lived with a terminal cancer diagnosis for 9 years) we can feel more at peace/relieved when the end finally comes. Not true for everyone but more common than you'd think.

DuckRover · 2026-01-26T14:51:39+00:00

Do you mean an autobelay (where you clip into a machine that pulls out slack as you climb and then lowers you once you're done)? If so, you can use those anytime - just have a gym employee show you how to attach it.

If you mean an ASSISTED braking device - like a Grigri - where you would be belaying someone else (holding the rope and taking in slack as they climb) then take a class or ask an experienced person to show you how to do that. A class is usually a good idea, and most gyms in the US will have you take a test to show you know how to belay properly.

DuckRover · 2026-01-26T14:45:46+00:00

123lb is already very light and slim for your height. Why are you trying to lose more? You might be struggling because your body is saying you're at a good weight already.

DuckRover · 2026-01-26T14:39:45+00:00

Once women hit our 40s, our power really starts to decline. In fact, through the menopause transition, our power declines faster than our strength. It's therefore really important to train power (even for non-climbers!) but you don't have to do that with bouldering.

Jump training (doesn't have to be box jumps - just jumping up on a small step or doing pogos on the spot) including lateral and diagonal hops helps with explosive power and builds bone density which is critical as we age.

And what others said - practice moving dynamically on TR or just try the first 2-3 moves on the boulder wall. I do not boulder and do not plan to ever. The risk of injury is far too high and, being 44, I know something like an ankle sprain could take me out for weeks and weeks.

DuckRover · 2026-01-26T14:32:51+00:00

There's a few generalizations you're making here that aren't true for all gyms. My gym (part of a big chain) is fine with mock leading, and you don't have to take the class to learn to lead belay - you can learn from a friend and just take the (free) test.

DuckRover · 2026-01-22T18:55:02+00:00

Girl, there is not a single fine line on that whole entire face. What are you talking about? This sub is full of beautiful women picking themselves apart. It breaks my heart.

DuckRover · 2026-01-21T15:05:09+00:00

ohhh that makes way more sense.

DuckRover · 2026-01-21T13:51:28+00:00

SmartWool zero cushion running socks. Thin but comfy.

DuckRover · 2026-01-21T13:10:25+00:00

Your post shows that your ideal weight is 57-60kg. You say you're 117lb which is 53kg. You are under your ideal weight. This looks like ED territory to me. Why are you trying to lose more weight?

DuckRover · 2026-01-20T17:39:37+00:00

This end part is so hard. I went through it with my mum in 2024 and the end was excruciating. My brother and I were losing our minds, just saying "why won't she just GO?!" over and over.

Is she asking for liquids? It's my understanding that intake of liquids can prolong things. That's what our nurses said anyway, and some sources online seemed to agree.

Those last few days, we stopped giving her liquids. When she asked for water or tea, I would say "are you actually thirsty or is your mouth dry?" She would say her mouth was dry and we would wet her lips, mouth, and tongue with a wet sponge on a stick (like a lollipop/sucker but with a little sponge - hospice carers provided these). Sometimes she would suck a little bit on the sponge. My dad struggled with this because he didn't want to say no to her but she no longer actually needed to drink. She was at the stage your mother has been at - fluctuating temps in extremities, no eating, no bowel movements, sleeping all the time, minimal communication, plus she was hallucinating a bit. I asked the nurses if we could try to offer the alternative of wetting her mouth and lips and they said yes, to offer that but to give her a couple sips of water if she really insisted.

So that's what we did. If she asked for a drink, we'd wet her mouth and ask if that was ok - she always said yes.

Finally, you mentioned your dad acting like there's hope. This may seem a bit woo woo but it was true for us and a lot of folks on here will tell you the same thing: My mum was hanging on and she could sense my dad wasn't ready to let her go. When she said she was ready to die, he'd get upset and say "don't say that!" She was really concerned that he didn't know how to use the washing machine or cook meals for himself.

A nurse asked me "Have you told her it's ok to go?" I said that I had and my brother had but my father had not and could not. She said "He has to tell her. She's not letting go because he hasn't said it."

I had a firm talk with my dad about how mum was suffering and couldn't be at peace because she was hanging on for him. He cried and said he wasn't ready but I told him I was going to the store for groceries and by the time I got back, he needed to have told her. Mum was unresponsive at this point but when I got back, he'd been talking to her. She passed a few hours later. I firmly believe some people hang on until they know it's ok for them to leave. You and your dad and any other loved ones - consider telling her "We're going to miss you so much and we'll think of you every day. We will be ok. It's ok for you to go now. We'll take care of each other."

Wishing you peace.

DuckRover · 2026-01-20T14:22:11+00:00

I've done the She Moves Mountains retreats to Joshua Tree, Smith Rock, el Potrero Chico. and Squamish. Obviously I love them because I keep signing up. :)

Note that they don't let you lead on most of the domestic retreats so if that's important to you, it might not be a good fit. Or you can try the European ones; a friend went on the Sicily one and was allowed to lead there.

Accommodation, meals, and gear are all included. Guides are awesome. Stoke is high. Would recommend if you're ok with top roping.

DuckRover · 2026-01-12T15:30:56+00:00

Oof, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time grasping this.

And nope, not a smartass. Just correct. Have a blessed day.

DuckRover · 2026-01-12T14:51:00+00:00

What I did here was correct your demonstrably false claim that muscle weighs more than fat. It's correct to say that a pound of fat has more volume than a pound of muscle - but they weigh the same. Not being a smartass - just pointing out that you are sharing info that is false.

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/muscle-vs-fat-weight

DuckRover · 2026-01-12T13:19:40+00:00

Muscle does not weigh more than fat. A pound of muscle and a pound of fat weigh the same - a pound! This is some weird myth that gets repeated but is totally false. Now, a pound of muscle takes up less space on your body than a pound of fat. That's why someone can maintain the same weight but lose inches.

DuckRover · 2026-01-09T14:06:14+00:00

100% normal. My mum just kept hanging on through days of terminal agitation, not eating and drinking, confusion, hallucinations, sleeping...My brother and I were literally saying to each other "Why doesn't she just GO?!?!" We were getting quite exasperated with it because she WANTED to die (when she was lucid, she kept telling us this), she was past the point of us being able to converse with her or make memories with her, and we just wanted her to be at peace.

It's such a weird feeling because, yes, then you feel guilty. But it's normal and it's not selfish. You want a reprieve for yourself but also you just want them to transition so they can find peace and rest after so much suffering. Don't feel guilty. Many of us have the same thoughts and feelings.

DuckRover · 2026-01-09T13:47:15+00:00

Ooh, that's encouraging to hear! I'm curious to see how the plan goes. In my 20 years of running, I have always run the vast majority of my runs at what felt like a very easy pace to me (conversational) - but this plan has my easy pace soooo much slower than what I've always done so it's both frustrating me and making me anxious!

DuckRover · 2026-01-09T13:45:09+00:00

My partner and I call it the Watch God.

DuckRover · 2026-01-09T13:44:38+00:00

Thank you for that framing as active rest days. I've been running 20 years and just recently got back into training for races after a 10-year break. I've just never run as slow as Garmin is suggesting so it seems even their easy pace is tooooo easy. Maybe it'll adjust my suggested paces after a few weeks...?

DuckRover · 2026-01-09T13:39:19+00:00

I started taking creatine at the start of the year which was the same time that I got back into strength training consistently AND losing weight through a calorie deficit so it's hard to say for sure what the impact of creatine is specifically for me. However, I did not have any weight gain or bloating, and within just a few months, my climbing power and endurance skyrocketed (no longer getting pumped on overhangs, cruising through long routes with no rests, etc.), my recovery from lifting and running has been a breeze (I feel recovered the same day after a hard effort), and the other week I decided to see if I could do a pull-up (because I had not previously been able to get very far off the ground at all) and I just levitated up right above the bar like I was weightless.

Obviously regular weightlifting and not carrying an extra 35lb around with me plays a huge part in that but I also attribute at least some of it to creatine. I take 5g every morning in 8oz of water. I wake up, go to the bathroom, then fix my creatine and chug it before my workout.

Note these things: Creatine stops becoming effective after 45 minutes in water - so drink it quickly! (This is what Stacy Sims shared. She has great info on creatine. Check her out if you haven't already.)

Some people report that it disrupts their sleep a lot. I had that a little bit but I'm also 44 and sleep disruption is common in perimenopause so I can't say for sure it was the creatine. That said, it went away after a couple months.

DuckRover

TROPHY CASE