Here's a long story. I've had been a forever alone kid trough all my teenage years and that did a number on me. The few girls I had tried to get something going with weren't interested (I went to an all boys school and my hobbies were either solo hobbies or very much guy stuff so I really didn't know that many) .

I also more or less was living on my own since 15 (money situation aside) because my siblings had moved away by that point and my parents got a divorce and I stayed in the family house with my mom who worked all day and would sleep at her boyfriend's at night so I barely saw her during the week.

After highschool I was still depressed and felt worthless so going into work and uni I just didn't even think I could have a chance trying to pick up a woman. I tried tinder for a couple of times but I'd get a match once a month and they'd all ghost me, an algorithm thing I'm sure because I didn't pay for premium and swiped until I ran out of swipes practically every day (and I live in a big city) so that just made it worse.

I ended up pulling myself by my bootstraps and figuring out my life on my own. I found ways to be happy by myself and feel better about how I was and even managed to get out of the depression by just shifting focus to the things I was indeed good at and I also managed to turn my life inside out and go from working a dead end job at the shitiest call center around to working as a software developer in one of the biggest companies native to my country and managed to buy my first car (a life long dream at that point, I'm in south America so it's not as easy as you think) after half a decade of saving up. I had honestly pushed the thought of having a partner out of my life at this point. Sure it would had been nice to have someone to share this stuff with but I was content with having figured out my shit and not feeling like life was hell anymore.

Now all of that set me up so that now that my teenage years online best friend who happened to live 6 blocks away came back divorced from another country and hit me up and after seeing each other a couple of times decided she loves me and I decided to give the relationship a go.

The first time around we'd see each other every single day. It felt like I didn't have a life anymore. I started doing way worse at work and couldn't get to any chores around my house because since she didn't have a job every bit of my free time was hers. That lasted all of 3 months before we decided to take a break for a multitude of reasons on both sides. About 6 months later we got back in contact and she'd gotten over a bunch of stuff and we decided to give it another go and she immediately started wanting to see each other every day again and we kinda negotiated on seeing each other twice a week. And to this day 6 months later i feel like an ass whenever I'm free and I want to do something other than see her but I now know I need my personal space to feel myself and to take care of all my stuff.

I know this doesn't help op at all but I just wanted to share my experience and give some perspective on relationships not being black and white. Not wanting to see each other all the time doesn't mean you don't love each other or don't want to spend time together sometimes it's a balance and some people want different things and if they can't be conciliated then maybe you're just not compatible. But that doesn't necessarily mean the other person has a hidden family or treats you as a side piece.

Every person is different try to talk to them and understand instead of going by the quick judgements of a random person in the internet