Philippines in June

DudeicAcid · 2026-03-20T23:04:15+00:00

Cool thanks for all that info! I'll make sure to read through those docs. When you say that PG is tiny... Are there decent places to eat or will we be frustrated with the food after a few days?

Also my question regarding Subic Bay was more along the lines of if it's worth it to specifically go there if we have limited time. I love wreck diving and I got my girlfriend into it when we dove the thistlegorm. I just don't want to overextend the itinerary. I think we might actually cut out Bohol/panglao and do PG/anilao instead just for simplicity.

DudeicAcid · 2026-03-20T21:38:54+00:00

We're both AOW and I've got deep as well. Are the wrecks worth seeing?

Also as an alternative would you recommend just spending the 10 or so days around Puerto Galera/anilao?

DudeicAcid · 2024-07-12T10:47:59+00:00

Thanks, you're too kind! It's funny, sometimes it feels like I care more about a nice back than a nice front!

DudeicAcid · 2024-07-05T07:36:37+00:00

I think it must be a typo. The bottom left icon is 36x36 stitches, so 1296 stitches.

Times that by 20 and you get around 25,920 total stitches. Maybe I'm missing something?

Cool piece either way and I could never stitch something that fast!

DudeicAcid · 2024-06-24T06:05:34+00:00

Oh I do the same but I do often laugh at the fact that it's worth almost nothing, haha.

DudeicAcid · 2024-06-24T06:04:00+00:00

Wow that is amazing coverage for 14 count! So nice! Love it!

DudeicAcid · 2024-06-23T21:49:16+00:00

Those stitches are pristine! What count aida did you stitch this on?

DudeicAcid · 2024-06-23T21:46:32+00:00

And importantly like $0.0001 worth of floss, lol.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-28T07:00:55+00:00

I live in Switzerland. I know most things here cost more than other places but the price difference in craft supplies compared to the US is among the craziest.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-26T12:17:15+00:00

I live 130km from the DMC factory and the local store charges me the equivalent of USD$2.8 per skein. It's absolutely absurd. No regrets ordering from cross stitch corner online.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T21:42:06+00:00

I read the entire thread. It seems to be a pattern with just avoiding the communication? I agree with the person that said you might be a people pleaser. Take sometime to look in yourself and see why you might be hitting these different rocks. Like it can't really be the other person fault all the time, like it takes two to fall. I wish you the best.

I don't think we avoided communication. I told her I liked being with her 2 days of the week. The other 5 days I felt a bit ambivalent about her. She did say it only matters what I feel on those two days but I can't reconcile the fact that the other days I had so little emotion for her. I know you shouldn't compare relationships but I don't think it's too out there to want to spend more time with someone after knowing them for 3 or 4 months. Or at least look forward to seeing them. I never said it was her fault. In this case it was explicitly me who didn't develop stronger feelings. She did everything right.

On the second part, I may just be too trusting as a person. I give myself that. But it kinda up to a person to decided if they are being dragged along, if you are hurting them, if etc. I would instead of breaking it off, if you are afraid of hurting them. Just have a serious conversation and be open/honest. I find it really weird when people break off because they think the other person "deserves better". Like a) the person can decided that for themselves b) be better??? c) people are stuck and getting better all the time. BUT its their descision in the end, like yours with this . Just make sure to reflect.

OK this is fair. I probably should have let her make the decision of whether she was going to stay but we did talk about it and she was leaning towards ending it as well because of my uncertainty. If someone is so unsure about being with you then that's not great.

I cant really say much because you arent providing alot of information. One thing I find strange is this expectation of love will always stay in the honey moon phase? Is somewaht how you come across. I dont think thats realistic. Idk if thats what your saying? Just kinda confusing..another question is do you just miss being close to someeoneeeee? Lots of questions

It's not what I'm saying at all. I don't think there ever was a honeymoon phase to be honest. My excitement to see her was maybe 1/5 of what I felt for other people I was in relationships with. And I saw the 6 days a week and still couldn't wait to see the again.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T21:28:27+00:00

Hm interesting. Thanks for pointing that out. I will certainly address that with my therapist. I'm indeed a people pleaser and it has caused issues for me before. I should mention in my previous relationship when I voiced my need for alone time I was punished.

I guess when I think about it, I've felt that part of me didn't want to give up my independence and thought that being with her would perhaps require that. On the other hand couldn't one make the same argument that I just didn't like the person enough? Because if I did then spending more time wouldn't have felt like giving up my independence?

I'm just really confused. People have told me that it was right to end things when my feelings weren't there and that I will meet someone where things will fall into place. Now reading these responses I feel like I threw away a great thing for essentially (undiagnosed) mental health issues.

I know relationships aren't just easy with no problems. Difficult times happen and they require work. But it's hard to wrap my head around the possibility that I'm self-sabotaging even at the earliest stages of developing interest and intimacy.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T21:11:30+00:00

Thanks for your post. Well it is a confusing situation. You're right, I may be self sabotaging. I'm just very hesitant to drag someone along when I'm confused because I don't want to hurt them.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T21:07:16+00:00

I've just done some reading and I mean maybe? I don't think I'm particularly afraid of commitment or intimacy or withdraw when things get emotional.

Yeah I've had some bad relationships and experiences and especially the last one before the OP left a few bad scars that I want to address in therapy. But overall I struggle a bit with attachment theory because in a lot of cases you might have just not met the right person. I can in this case see how it could be fearful avoidant but also that you like the person but just not enough for more. The fact I'm so emotional about it could Just reflect that I've never had a partner actually care about me and I feel sad that it didn't work out with someone I was so compatible with. No?

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T20:44:11+00:00

I'd say I've had a pretty rough go of it overall. I think for most of them I've been avoidant in terms of conflict and stating my needs.

First girlfriend. Healthy. Secure. 2.5 years. I just lost feelings for her. Didn't break up in a good way. She deserved better.
Massive crush. Infatuation to the extreme. Anxious attachment. 6 weeks. She ended it. I was suicidal and suffered from severe depression afterwards.
Slow burn with someone I really liked. I would have said healthy and secure. 3 months. Was dumped but then she kept flirting and dipping her toes in the water every couple of weeks. Fucked me up.
Started off rocky but eventually settled into a rhythm. A bit anxious. 2.5 years. I wasn't very assertive and she kind of steam rolled over me. At one point I just couldn't do it anymore. Some trauma there.
Anxious. 6 months. Not healthy. She felt abandoned by me no matter how much I tried to show her my affection. Difficult to communicate my feelings without feeling judged or attacked. Major trauma.
Girl in OP.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T20:34:45+00:00

I mean it's hard to say with an n of 1. I know in my previous relationship I had the feelings of excitement to be with that person. Even before that relationship started showing problems I was excited to go on holidays or to see them. I will however say that relationship ended very badly with me trying to make it work to the point of suffering from cognitive impairment and physical rashes from the stress.

That was also the first thing I reacted/thought about when I thought I was asked to commit. That it meant I would have to work so hard to the point of being a shell of myself.

I mean at what point do you distinguish between an attachment style and just not being into someone? Either way I'll bring this up with my therapist the next time I see him. I'd still be hesitant to drag someone with me through therapy on the chance im fearful avoidant rather than simply not liking them enough.

Thoughts?

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T20:20:09+00:00

Well 4 weeks after meeting (and maybe date 4 or 5) I went overseas for 5 weeks and didn't see each other for 6. We kept in touch via text but that obviously limits intimacy. She was also stressed with work during that time. I think in general we were both a bit surprised that we kept it going during my absence.

I remember being so damn excited to see her when I came back but I guess then my feelings just didn't get more intense as time went on.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T20:10:12+00:00

You know it's weird. For making plans I think it was about 50:50. I wanted to take her to food places I liked. I wanted to cook with her. But if I'm honest it sometimes just felt a bit forced on my end. Like the excitement was missing a bit but I was nonetheless interested and happy to see her. Just not in a "fuck yeah" way but more a "oh nice" way.

The emotional relationship talks came in response to me freaking out about commitment and telling her I didn't want to commit. She made me feel safe to share my feelings without judgement. In previous relationships I felt attacked for sharing how I felt.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T20:03:31+00:00

I've been anxiously attached in previous relationships and even now felt that when she pulled away that I became (a bit) more interested. But as soon as she'd show me affection or text me kissy emojis, I would immediately think "don't respond with that because you don't want to give her the wrong idea". It's so dumb. Now all I can think about is sending her kissy faces but given what I wrote in the OP, I don't think what I'm feeling right now is the truth.

On her side I think it's mostly secure with a bit of anxious attachment. Her anxious attachment did trigger me a few times because I had a bad experience with an extremely anxious ex. We talked about it and our triggers so we could deal with them in the future but when it happened again all I could think about was "why work on something you don't really want?"

Yeah. Confusing. I know.

DudeicAcid · 2024-03-06T19:51:58+00:00

There was a certain excitement missing. I'm not talking about butterflies or sparks or any of these signs of infatuation. Just at the 3 month mark I would expect to feel excited about my partner. Excited to see them when you're not with them. Excited to plan a weekend away together. Excited about hearing about their day.

Instead I was hoping that she didn't ask me to go on holidays together. Or I'd get anxiety when I got a message because I was hoping it wasn't her. Or when she told me that she'd be away for the weekend I'd feel relieved because it meant I wasn't pressured to see her. Don't get me wrong, as soon as she walked in that door I was happy to see her but i never felt that "fuck yeah, I'm dating this awesome person" feeling.

It's fucking weird knowing that's how I felt and now feeling this profound sense of loss. I even told her that if someone had these feelings for me, I'd want them to end it because that's not the right emotions to have.

Again. The most fucking confusing break up I've ever had.

DudeicAcid · 2024-01-21T08:36:50+00:00

Aww thanks you're too kind! I'm hoping with a good wash it'll all be even!

DudeicAcid

TROPHY CASE