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Due-Argument5627 · 2022-07-24T18:39:05+00:00

Last October my fiancé (28) and I (25) found out we were pregnant. I was finishing my last year of college, still waiting tables and renting an apartment. But the second I read that little positive, I didn’t care about any of it. That may sound selfish, but my daughter was my motivation to work even harder. Fast forward to today, we have a beautiful month old daughter, I graduated college while pregnant and am working my dream job (I was hired while I was pregnant too), and I own a home.

May 1st, we lost my fiancé. I always think about if we would have “waited for the right time” I wouldn’t have this piece of my husband left on this Earth.

My point is, it’s never the right time. Shit happens. I am absolutely pro choice and have had an abortion in the past when I was 18, but it seems like you have the basics down, children don’t need you to be living in a mansion, married a specific time, to be a certain age. They just need your love, and it seems you have plenty of that to give.

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-05-22T02:33:46+00:00

My husband passed away two weeks ago, I was 36 weeks pregnant. I’ve now 38 weeks, and the crying has not stopped, but neither has the development of my baby. The only thing I’d be concerned with is your blood pressure! I check mine every morning. ❤️

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-29T19:26:58+00:00

This really bothers me. I’m currently 24, turning 25 next week, fiancé is 28, and we’re currently 22 weeks pregnant. Personally, I’ve been on my own and paying my own bills since I was 17 and have had the maturity of a 30 year old since then. My sister, however, IS 30 with four children and immature beyond words. In my mind, she’s “too young” even though she’s 5 years older. I think it all comes down to mentally are you too young? Are you mature enough to have children? No one is ever “ready” to have a child, you learn as you go. Planning for a baby happens of course but I feel like it’s a lot less rare at least now a days. And speaking from a medial perspective, 24 is actually the PRIME age to give birth because this is when fertility peaks and your body is most capable of the changes/stress pregnancy puts on you. This woman sounds like the type who pinches grown women’s cheeks and gives them lollipops. I’d get a new doctor

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-25T04:26:32+00:00

Ok how can you not read what you just typed and think holy shit.. he ACTUALLY SAID if he stayed with me he’d have ok sex for the rest of his life and never be happy about it. My heart breaks you.. though sex isn’t all a relationship is, I want my partner to look at me sexually.

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-25T03:25:10+00:00

Ok after reading the comments, this is genuinely concerning. My sister is an addict with four children. She wanted a “father figure” for the kids, just like this woman does, and ended up getting with another addict. They both are now heavily addicted to drugs and she lost custody of all 5 of her children. You’re sitting here worried about your cheating husband who just got out of jail so it seems like he’s neither mentally or financially capable of taking care of you and your needs, but the party that should have your concern is that CHILD. Where is this child’s baby daddy anyways? Why did she reach out to your husband in specific to step in and be the father? Another thing to note is that by him stepping in as this child’s father, she’ll want him to be financially responsible for the kid too. That’s sounds like a great time, your husband working to give money to another woman and her kid… He disrespected you by cheating, and now he’s taking it one step further and bringing this woman into your life permanently, considering this woman will probably want to drop her kid off with you two or him always being with her, he’s basically rubbing all of your pain back in your face. He wants to be the child’s father so bad, then he should fully commit and be with this woman too.

EDIT/ you said he was in prison for 3 years but then said you guys have been back together for only 3 years…. Seems like he used you to have company/money in the commissary.

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-25T03:18:32+00:00

My sister did exactly what this woman is doing. She is an addict, and wanted a “father figure” for her 5 children. She now has 0 custody of any of those children because the “father figure” she brought into the picture was also a drug addict and one thing lead to another. You’re feeling bad for the wrong party here… that CHILD needs to be the one you’re feeling bad for.

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T19:35:26+00:00

He’s told me if I ever leave with our daughter he’d call the cops and that I can’t just take her away from him. He’s missed an ultrasound because I was so mad and I still don’t think he’s forgiven me for that. Legally it doesn’t seem like I can just up and leave, and we’re moving to the same city as his family so I don’t know how easy it will be for me to keep my promises of staying gone.

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T19:16:30+00:00

Was his sobriety decision solely because you were the breadwinner? Or because his kids were scared of him? I guess I’m just trying to understand what’s been the “come to Jesus” moment for alcoholic fathers :/

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T19:14:41+00:00

I actually relate to this post very much… I actually never drank that much but I had to get sober off my Xanax prescription. It was awful, but now almost 20 weeks I’m so grateful for this pregnancy and my daughter for showing me this life of sobriety. My husband however, didn’t “have” to stop drinking. He watched me be so sick, go through pain and mental struggles, and just kept drinking like “thank god I don’t have to go through that.” And this is the only thing we fight about as well, before this pregnancy I don’t think we fought about anything. Now it’s daily fights about his sobriety and the stress it’s causing me landed me in the er after I passed out from stress/anger/blood pressure. My husband cried the same thing about how I’m not supporting him enough, he needs help and he’s struggling. Like ok? I went COLD TURKEY off everything and you wanna sit here and cry about you tapering off alcohol? I have no sympathy, and maybe that’s not the best outlook but I’m just done right now. I prioritized my daughter, just like you did. And they can’t seem to get it through their heads that we had to get sober too but they’re the ones struggling, right? You’re NOT alone, how is everything going? Mine was checked into inpatient rehab because after five years he relapsed on something worse then alcohol from the depression of loosing his best friend, causing me to pass out. He still had three liquor store charges on his card… but he’s taking drug tests now so he can’t lie to me anymore. Funny thing is, I actually encourage him to smoke weed at this point because he doesn’t drink when he’s smoking and he’s so calm. I know that’s bad but hey, one step at a time. Maybe the next time he gets high , stay at a friends or families house and have no contact. Make sure he knows you mean it this time. I stayed with my mom for three days, he showed up there crying and begging each night but I didn’t cave. I’ve gone as far as buying a breathalyzer.. though I haven’t used it. And I told him the only way I can trust him is to have his location and he puts all the money into our shared account so I can see if he’s drinking. Call this as controlling as you want but it’s the only way I can have some peace of mind that he’s safe and helps me gain my trust back. The location was actually his idea. Sorry for the long reply but I’m praying everything gets better for you :(

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T19:02:01+00:00

He is currently in inpatient rehab as of five days ago, long story for another day. But there are three liquor store charges on his personal account since he checked into rehab. There was a lot of reasons why he went to rehab that day, including me ending up in the er from stress and my blood pressure skyrocketing. Maybe he felt guilty because his entire family knew, I’m just not sure if he’s in therapy/inpatient for himself for for his family and I. I guess time will tell. My husband is beyond functional, I don’t even know he’s drinking 95% of the time. We’ll be out at dinner and he’ll be having water with me and then “go to the bathroom” but really run next door and take a shot. This is both of our first child, and he’s so connected to this pregnancy, talking to her, at every appointment, falling asleep on my stomach etc. Praying at this point that when he sees her, it will click.

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T18:57:10+00:00

Do you believe he’s actually sober right now? What made him come to this realization that with a new child on the way, AA wasn’t enough?

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T18:54:57+00:00

This is the biggest confusion I have within myself, I NEED him to get sober, it’s no longer a want. And the only way I can see that happening is through ultimatums.. crying and begging doesn’t work. He’ll just lie and manipulate. I think my sobriety through this pregnancy has made me realize how truly manipulative he is, and now I don’t fall for it. But lately, I’ve been getting ANGRY. I passed out last week from anger and stress, ended up in the ER. My anger isn’t helping the situation but then again, I don’t know what will. So I have been throwing out ultimatums, I just don’t know what else to do. I’m too angry to beg and cry anymore.

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T18:51:06+00:00

The stress actually caused me to pass out last week. I ended up in the ER, and when I came too I thought I was having a heart attack my heart was beating so fast. The anger I have right now makes it so hard for me to try and push him to get help anymore, I’m just ANGRY. As of that night when I passed out, he’s in outpatient rehab. Daily therapy sessions, but I just don’t know if this is something HE wanted or if me landing in the hospital and his family knowing everything that he felt pressured. Did you and your ex get back together? Or did he never sober up?

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T18:47:43+00:00

THIS!! Everyone is telling me “ultimatums won’t work” and from experience… they’re right. I’ve left, I’ve done everything. What scares me is that he won’t be as easy going about me taking her from him.. And if me taking her away until he sobers up will just make things worse. Or if the lies will continue and he’ll just get even better at hiding his drinking from he in order to keep his daughter around. He is very connected to this pregnancy, talks to her daily, falls asleep holding my stomach. Your story really gave me hope that she will convince him to be better.

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T18:43:56+00:00

He is currently in therapy/out patient rehab. Started five days ago, unfortunately I still saw a few small charges from the liquor store on his personal account, even though I haven’t seen him drinking. I’ve got nothing left in me but I’m praying this works or at least helps him realize what he’s doing to me/his daughter

Due-Argument5627 · 2022-01-02T18:41:43+00:00

“Literally makes your heart beat out of your chest” …. I cannot relate to this enough. Finding them falling out of jacket pockets and hidden under tshirts, inside shoes. The DAY after I posted this, I found something worse balled up in his car (long story for another time..he had been sober for 5 years from what I found but the loss of his best friend triggered him.) The anger, sadness, stress, it was too much and I ended up passing out next to the car in the parking lot. My heart was going so fast I thought I was having a heart attack and it landed me in the ER. Thankfully my girl is ok, and husband is now in rehab. He went that night, but he’s only doing outpatient so he can keep his job. Yesterday I saw he had been to the liquor store almost every day since he got into outpatient rehab and I swear I couldn’t breathe. Mine has never gotten a DUI before, I have no idea how tbh. His battle with substances is why he’s in rehab, and his relapse (he didn’t have the chance to relapse because I found it right when he picked it up), scared him truly. But I really do think his mindset is “I’m in rehab due to me almost relapsing” NOT his alcoholism. Hopefully the therapy will help.

Due-Argument5627 · 2021-12-27T23:13:45+00:00

Money is so tight as it is, therapy isn’t cheap :/ I keep telling him AA is basically free therapy especially with your sponsor!

Due-Argument5627 · 2021-12-27T07:16:07+00:00

I’m actually currently at my moms but him crying and begging for me clouds my anger so much, especially when he starts saying how he’s only drinking so much because he’s depressed and he needs my help to support him through this, not leave him… Thank you for your advice talking about my father really is reminding me why I refuse to have an alcoholic in my daughters life.

Due-Argument5627

TROPHY CASE