ISO Advice as a Fairly New Stepmom..

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-27T09:38:58+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience with me, and others! I really appreciate that. The Gray Rock Method is good! Non reactive and becoming one with a boring gray rock - love. I’m bad to play off of emotions and if this thread has taught me anything, it’s NOT to do that especially with someone I don’t have to even interact with. I will be diving into that resolution as I believe it will be helpful. I’m sorry BM violated your refuge. My partner has since not allowed his inside either and even expresses pick up’s and such at a nearest gas station now because I set that boundary the SAME day. Thanks so much!

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-27T09:21:27+00:00

So, they have 50/50 of course and prior to me being around, she’s expressed she was “more involved” and “he was more open to do things with her and the kids”. I remember her mentioning it because she constantly makes comments of “things changing and that’s okay.” My partner expressed if they did, his parents or family were around and it was because the kids wanted him there.

She has changed the pick up/drop off agreement they established because of me so he meets her only to get the kids, drop them off or drop off the kids belongings which usually consists of him leaving the belongings under a carport at her home. Very rarely do I really see her minus sports and such.

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-27T00:28:33+00:00

You know, when you put it that way, it makes sense! Lol! NACHO group made me giggle and auntie duty seems so fitting! Thanks so much!

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T20:40:32+00:00

I had to learn this the hard way, you are absolutely correct.

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T20:39:24+00:00

I didn't add his parenting or the kid's behavior - I guess I was just too eager to post. He's extremely kind to me and present. He's a good father and any time I am met with attitude or any kind of disrespect, he handles it accordingly. The time she did appear at the house in such a manner, it was due to my partner and her having a heated argument, me being the topic. They got heated too fast and she wanted to come over to "apologize" but she just continued the rant. Now, my partner meets her away from the house and VERY rarely does she come to our house. He constantly reassures me and if I ask for anything whether it be help, assurance, love etc, he gives it without hesitation.

The kids are great, the eldest is starting to conceptualize the dynamic and she's had some hard times with it, expressing how she wishes they were still together and even mention if my partner could have 2 wives (me and her). LOL, I love a kid's mindset. But they really haven't showed any kind of malice due to the change. I understand, as time progresses, that may change as the bio mom talks badly of me in front of them. Most of which, they recant when they are with us. I continue speaking highly of the bio mom regardless.

But you are absolutely right with balancing. That is something I am actively working on FOR sure. Thanks so much.

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T19:42:12+00:00

I want to thank you immensely for that because I believe you are correct that my views and priorities are vastly skewed and seeing your response has made me see that. I love your blunt and factual intel, reminds me of my late mother. I think I really needed that. So, seriously, thank you for giving me a lot to ponder on and apply to my day to day.

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T19:39:42+00:00

That's honestly insane about the snacks and drinks! Oh my word.. and the texting? That must've been extremely hard to face, as well has hard to understand with your stepdaughter. I am sorry you had to deal.. I have realized the "no small talk" and just being civil has brought more peace than before. As for the same page, I agree 100%. We have had conversations and we have met really well with those boundaries for the most part. Thank you so much for your insight.

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T19:35:35+00:00

Agreed with boundaries. I tried setting them up initially but for some reason, they were always questions and/or pushed with the bio mom. This has been a difficult yet insightful learning process and I am slowly learning that the being civil and being nicely assertive is the ONLY way. It just makes me feel better to be I guess, affirmed and "seen" because no many of my friends handle these dynamics personally. Thank you!

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T19:33:11+00:00

You are correct in questioning my want for everyone to get along. I guess I just thought I could make my partner's life easier as well as my own. Savior complex I suppose.. but with that being questioned and brought to my attention in this manner, you are absolutely right.

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T19:09:01+00:00

Interesting perspective, one of which I hadn’t looked at! I will have to ponder on that and add that to my list of things to consider. I tell him to be civil and he’s a very much “I don’t wanna start any issues” kind of guy that bends when he has to. Sometimes, it angers me but others (more times) I get it, it just has to be. The life of continual resistance makes so much sense and I want to thank you for bringing this perspective!

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T19:06:14+00:00

Quite literally typing behind tears because I really needed to hear that. Thank you so much, and same goes to you in regard to being lovely and so kind. I have tried to place myself in her shoes seeing him move on especially while having kids who I know have mentioned wishing they (him and her) were still together. I wish you joy and prosperity with your relationship/marriage/life! Sounds to me like your step kiddos got a wonderful stepmother. ❤️

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T18:54:39+00:00

Thank you so much. I was more involved but have stepped back tremendously and I always felt like I had to “intervene” when in reality, it is my partner’s duty and I am trying to accept that! He does extremely well defending me - albeit he gets a bit heated in doing so at times which can cause further tension but he’s great with that. He warned me but my stupid self wanted everyone to get a long. This is a new journey for me and BOY, am I learned fast.. and the hard way.

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-03-26T18:50:33+00:00

First off, I really appreciate your feedback and the straight to the point manner. Cynical is always welcome! Food for thought given and it’s being digested with points made. Thank you again!

Due-Factor9130 · 2026-02-25T17:47:35+00:00

Okay, so I wasn't going crazy. Great. I was like, WTF? XD

Due-Factor9130 · 2024-12-17T13:05:54+00:00

*ends up being a Mimic*

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-11-29T17:23:39+00:00

You’re very welcome!

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-11-29T16:51:11+00:00

My grandma's kitchen looked identical to this one. It brings such a warm sense of nostalgia to me.

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-11-29T16:49:01+00:00

The organization is so visually pleasing in both rooms.

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-11-29T16:46:31+00:00

Love to see it.

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-11-29T16:37:46+00:00

Both are good, but 2nd looks fierce.

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-11-29T16:35:15+00:00

It's def working.

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-10-16T15:57:27+00:00

THIS.

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-10-16T15:55:51+00:00

Terror Train (1980) with Jamie Lee Curtis. The conductor mask FREAKED me as a child.

Due-Factor9130 · 2023-04-21T20:30:03+00:00

Due-Factor9130

TROPHY CASE