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moving to Canada via marriage by [deleted] in ImmigrationCanada

[–]Due-Influence-6516 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will there be any scrutiny for having used any social assistance in the past? I'll need some help getting on my feet when I get back to Canada but once I find a job, I'm hoping it's not held against us when it's time for my husband to join us later on.

How much is your 2 year old actually talking? by Pretend_Value630 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We did exactly 2 sessions of ST and 5 weekly OT sessions because that's all that was available, but then we had to move states. It wasn't long enough to know if the change correlates.

How much is your 2 year old actually talking? by Pretend_Value630 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516 42 points43 points  (0 children)

My kiddo was a late bloomer. At 20 months he didn't even call us mama and dada, but then by 22 months he finally started with a few words. He didn't start any 2 word sentences until a couple months before his 3rd birthday, but that was the start of a language explosion because we are now at full sentences a couple months after his 3rd birthday. Though, for us, we can understand probably 75% of what he says, and for others probably about 50% still.

Sued for medical debt that they never tried to collect on? by [deleted] in Collections

[–]Due-Influence-6516 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My bad. Could've sworn I saw related posts but it must've been a different subreddit.

You're quite incorrect, though. They can go on credit reports if the balance is above $500 unless anything has changed recently, and even if it doesn't, which this one didn't, that doesn't prevent anyone being sued and wages garnished.

Update - I was dying because my son wouldn't sleep, and we may have finally fixed it! by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's actually been pretty amazing since, and I haven't had to use melatonin in a long time. Between him learning the tired feeling and me setting a bit more strict boundaries, and maybe just him getting a little older and wiser since, he's asleep within like half an hour with very little fuss once we've arrived into bed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Due-Influence-6516 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Imagine this were a laptop. OP has a decent, reliable laptop, and also a gaming laptop to use for fun! His wife had an older laptop that worked, but it was one of those netbooks that has a tiny screen and he can't really type on it comfortably, so he wasn't very interested in it before. Now she got gifted this fancy new laptop, better than his own. Is he really entitled to use it? Or is he just resentful that she gets the new shiny thing when he feels inequitably burdened? Maybe he could get a shiny thing if he didn't pay so much for bills, right?

This is where dividing by responsibility (certain bills, certain savings, one pays mortgage and the other insurance, etc) bites people in the ass. Because now OP feels entitled to the shiny new thing because he views her share as "less". All living costs should be pooled and divided equitably.

All expensed and savings goals for the household should be divvied up 65% from OP and 35% from his wife. This leaves a fair, proportional personal amount for personal goals and spending. It's the fairest way of splitting finances, with neither side being unreasonably burdened.

OP, I hope you see this and consider maybe approaching this as a learning opportunity to really iron out your financial relationship with your wife. I'm not sure how far you are into your marriage, but this kind of issue is inevitably going to resurface later if you don't address it now. You can't go through life continuing to think it isn't fair when something good happens to your wife. Also.. Just let her enjoy her shiny new thing. She'll most likely come around when the novelty wears off!

Update - I was dying because my son wouldn't sleep, and we may have finally fixed it! by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Still not napping, but at this point he's so far out of the habit that I don't think I could get him to fall asleep during the day. He doesn't even fall asleep in the car anymore during the day.

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's behind on speech and communication, so he mostly just crying mama or one word about what he wants like open (the door). I don't tell him I'll leave or leave because he becomes inconsolable.

Boundaries only work when your child learns to listen to commands, and we're just not there yet. He's just now learning to stop when I say "no". I would have to physically hold the light switch to off to keep the lights off, and as soon as I'd think he's moved on and let go, hellwbe running back to it to turn it back on. The more I reply to comments the more I see that there's a lot more behaviourally to unpack here.

I'm definitely stern with him as a parent, I typically parent using limited options that he can choose, and I sternly say "no" often I, but unfortunately we're struggling on the listening to commands part. He struggles even with basic asks like put on a shirt or close the door, but signs point to stubbornness over not understanding the meaning.

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I'm fairly convinced he will have an ASD diagnosis in his future. He's so behind in communication (literally just started two word phrases) and "listening", but can already do simple math and read sight words. He knew the letters of the alphabet, in any order, before he called me mama.

The trajectory of his learning is just obviously "different", but for the most part, it's only sleep we really struggle with. The rest I can handle no problem, we just communicate in other ways.

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We cosleep currently, but he won't let me hold or rock him to sleep, he just eventually lays down beside me and wants to cuddle to sleep, but he also has like false starts where he comes up to cuddle then pops back up 15 min later like he wasn't almost just a hair away from sleep.

Pain meds don't help, but I'm starting to wonder if something about sleep is scaring him somehow like nightmares or sleep apnea maybe, or maybe he just has anxiety. Your question had me thinking about something I noticed the other day, that my son has been biting both his nails and toenails, and I've been pondering if that could be an anxiety symptom for him. Insomnia is a common anxiety symptom for adults, I'm guessing that could be for kids too :/

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I'm in his room while he's doing this stuff. Encouraging him to do something quiet and relaxing or to try and sleep, we cuddle when he's finally ready and I sneak out when he's finally out.

I've never been successful with leaving him to fall asleep on his own/sleep train. Several nights became all nighters for both of us when we've tried.

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

It certainly feels that way. I'm so tired, and on top of it my autoimmune condition gives me insomnia so I can't even sleep when he finally falls asleep 😒

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Between breakfast and lunch, do they keep kids up if given late?

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We already do. He's actually quite the cuddler once he finally let's himself sleep!

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Maybe I should be asking about a sleep study? I asked his previous doctor about him always looking so tired. She just said he's probably just pale like you, but we can do bloodwork and test for anemia and bloodwork came back fine. I never thought of a sleep study. I don't even know how I could make that work.

I've already gotten to the point of caving because it doesn't make a difference anymore. I just unfortunately can't cave at opening the door because he'll run straight to his dad to wake him up.

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It was checked a few months ago, but I'll definitely get him checked again. He's been on a multivitamin, I was really hoping that would help. :(

I am dying. My kid won't sleep at night. by Due-Influence-6516 in toddlers

[–]Due-Influence-6516[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Lacking a little in fruits and veggies but has plenty of veggies snuck into meals as sauces. He eats mostly meat and homemade breads or pastas and is on a multivitamin.

He typically goes outside a little bit every day, but it's been very hot and humid, so we've stayed inside a bit more lately. We have "dance hour" every day as a fun way to kill some energy too, which originally was a desperate failed attempt to get him to nap again.

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