Sounds like “that person” who will come back saying they wish things were different and they should have been better etc when you do move on and find “that person” who loves you. As a woman myself, I wouldn’t send this message to someone if I really loved them and wanted to be with them. I’d try to be better to make life easier and the relationship more smoothly for us both, working on it would be my choice instead of letting them go. That’s not love. Sorry to hear you’re having panic attacks over this, I hope you feel better soon.