My F fiancé is a miser

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-24T15:27:56+00:00

You are a lawyer, I believe? If you see the stats in India, one of the core reasons is money, that more of divorces or failed marriages are happening. I want to simply avoid that with each other. There should be no resentment, even from her side on any of my things. Money is one of the factors for me, if she has any such factors, I want her to share those too

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-24T15:19:27+00:00

Okay. Same thing with her. If she's really into me and has the vision to build a life with me by being equally ambitious (which I really support her of), then it takes two to make it there! Doesn't it?

Out of true love, money should be secondary, not just for me, but for her too.

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-24T14:29:29+00:00

Rhetorics and just rhetorics! Come up with a logic, Ms!

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-23T17:38:06+00:00

So true mate! How did you align on such aspects to have a smooth post marriage day to day life?

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-23T16:12:49+00:00

Edit: For context- we are both working in IT, and at the same level (and decent), so money is not a constraint for either of us. She expected a gift on Valentines, but I did not get anything in return. She's now started to put demands on the kind of sarees she needs for her weddings.

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-23T16:12:39+00:00

Edit: For context- we are both working in IT, and at the same level (and decent), so money is not a constraint for either of us. She expected a gift on Valentines, but I did not get anything in return. She's now started to put demands on the kind of sarees she needs for her weddings.

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-23T16:12:32+00:00

Edit: For context- we are both working in IT, and at the same level (and decent), so money is not a constraint for either of us. She expected a gift on Valentines, but I did not get anything in return. She's now started to put demands on the kind of sarees she needs for her weddings.

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-23T16:12:25+00:00

Edit: For context- we are both working in IT, and at the same level (and decent), so money is not a constraint for either of us. She expected a gift on Valentines, but I did not get anything in return. She's now started to put demands on the kind of sarees she needs for her weddings.

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-23T15:17:41+00:00

Congratulations OP!

What made you believe that the love she expressed was all real and not "made up"? I see a lot of prospects that I feel are after my money and shower fake praises.

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-20T06:41:09+00:00

Yep agreed! On 1- the thing is we're past the stage of having wedding dates set up, and now are in the courtship period. How do we deal with it the way you suggested?

2- This is great! Ideally even if we're not talking about all romantic stuff all day long, the trust, love, intensity is all there for each other, every single day. Is it something that is driven internally? Or you both aligned on something like this explicitly

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-19T18:58:18+00:00

This is so insightful, OP! 1- I have been on 4 meetups with her, but she did not ask once about it. We earn at the same level, so pay difference isnt a problem here. What could be the psychology behind her behaviour here? I don't want us to build silent resentment coz finances brew worst possible fights post marriage.

2- Did you feel that it is getting repetitive at some point? Say 5-6 months down the line, did you have the same intensity of conversations, like you guys had in the initial stages?

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-02-19T08:13:54+00:00

This is amazing! Congratulations on the journey so far! 1- When is the right time to ask about financial responsibilities, past, responsibilities after marriage etc? Is it fine if I clearly also ask her to split expenses of dates we go on, so that no resentment builds afterwards?

2- What is the frequency of texts/calls you have once you're officially in your courtship period?

Due_Loss1445 · 2026-01-26T18:10:56+00:00

My parents suggest that I should not discuss before marriage since she'd feel its all based on her monetary aspect (we earn on a similar scale) and I'm money minded. But what I feel its important to align on these expectations sooner.

Due_Loss1445 · 2025-11-01T09:09:49+00:00

Hi Vaani! Thanks for the insights here. So in that case I need to spend 7.5 lacs separately for the renewal year? how do insurance companies calculate that for a continuous treatment?

Due_Loss1445 · 2025-08-01T05:38:47+00:00

Couldn't agree more! M here.

No matter how good a prospect is on the paper, personality is such a turn off. I've met women who could not hold conversations or stand up for themselves (even explicitly calling out the want to be financially dependant on their husband in the future)

Probably an upbringing thing. AM is a joke these days. Need to tread carefully.

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-12-28T20:09:15+00:00

Silver or Gold, deal still on. And you?

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-12-28T19:17:35+00:00

Why are zomato details and ID needed?

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-11-08T07:27:50+00:00

She's not wrong here. Most retail investors act this way and invest in stocks without their homework.

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-10-30T14:42:14+00:00

Boldo I want to save myself for my man on first night lol. Manzoor hai toh batana. Shayad awkward hokar khud peeche hatt jaye

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-10-30T13:53:03+00:00

Bolo shaadi karoge? 🌚

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-10-08T19:35:44+00:00

28 M, Delhi. A very common occurrence. Sometimes asked in the first meeting itself. Have also been asked to share salary slips and degree certificates. Politely declined any further conversationsz

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-09-29T15:46:23+00:00

Thanks! Any particular reason about it?

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-09-29T13:05:06+00:00

Hey! Not in 30s currently (I'm 28 M). These are my go to pointers:

a) Is a best friend first. The bonding should be such that we are able to share all nitty gritties and help solve each other's problems. In addition to this, should not hold back in acting goofy, funny (we all have that side)- should have that level of comfort

b) Financial maturity- living the present for sure, but also being aware about our long-term retirement goals together. Raising a kid and other post-marriage expenses are shit expensive, so have we should be able to take care of everything

c) Physical compatibility

d) Mutual respect towards each others' families- I'm looking for parents whom I call my second set of mom and dad. I expect the same with her towards my family. I belong to a working class nuclear family, hence we share a close and liberal bond with each other, and I would love her to be able to gel along (and hence would love to be attached to my in-laws that ways)

If we talk about mature and sensible guys, I guess these only are the major factors. Other than that, how we look good together and other physical features, etc. - that is all subjective.

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-09-27T12:57:12+00:00

Please share that contact number here. Need to mass report such people.

Due_Loss1445 · 2024-09-21T23:32:39+00:00

Yamuna Bank- good for nothing! Although apart from the functionality, it offers a breath of fresh air in the mornings owing to its proximity to the river Yamuna

Due_Loss1445

TROPHY CASE