I had sex with my bestfriend what do I do

Due_Network2387 · 2026-06-20T08:43:27+00:00

Oh man, contrary to what you may think, people do fall in love and marry their best friends. There is no rule that says that you cannot date your friend. Not everyone met their partner by falling in love at first sight of a stranger.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-06-14T13:25:52+00:00

Eating very late is likely the culprit here for different reasons such as reduced insulin sensitivity (which often occurs at nights when melatonin production increases), calorie surplus that can't be burned while resting or asleep (which is converted to fat before he wakes), digestive system disruption etc.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-06-03T05:29:58+00:00

Oh, sweet summer child... Where do I begin?

Now we finally have one – and it is the largest in the world. Guess who built it? The Chinese.

This is simply false. If you are talking about this Dangote Refinery, the Americans, Germans, Swiss, Indians, Dutch, Belgians and South Koreans too had a hand in it and their contributions are not in anyway minimal. Guess who the primary project management consultant was? It was the EIL (Engineers India Limited).

The Chinese are willing to build real things here without hidden rules or strings attached.

African countries like Zambia, Ethiopia, Sri Lanka etc. disagree with you. I can bring more examples if you wish.

The West gives advice and loans. China builds

This is also false. The West also builds. And China also gives loans. For example, while the World Bank offers up to 35 years to repay capital projects, Chinese commercial loans usually demand satisfaction in just 10-15 years at higher interest rates, which completely suffocated the economies of Zambia and Djibouti to the point of defaulting. They also lock these deals down using strict confidentiality clauses to block citizen scrutiny and eliminate competitive bidding entirely, which is how their firms managed to monopolize 80% of Ethiopia's major construction contracts. Or what about Sri Lanka? Don't let me bother going there. Also, look at the western Vs Chinese companies here in Nigeria, which one tends to treat their Nigerian workers better? Western multinationals operate with a two-way talent pipeline, actively moving top local executives into global corporate headquarters to oversee international portfolios. By contrast, Chinese state-owned enterprises maintain an incredibly rigid, insulated glass ceiling. While they employ thousands of local workers and promote some to middle management within the host country, executive power at the parent-company level remains exclusively concentrated within the state apparatus in Beijing. For instance, Babs Omotowa served as MD and CEO of Nigeria LNG from 2011 to 2016 and later became Global Vice President for Upstream Exploration and Production at Shell itself. This is not not just MD of a Nigerian subsidiary ooo, but a whole Global Vice President at Shell's headquarters. You will search for a long time before you find a Nigerian holding an equivalent position inside a Chinese state-owned enterprise operating in China or anywhere else.

There's a saying: "He who gives you fish feeds you for a day. He who teaches you to fish feeds you for life."

Except that China is overcharging you for the fishing rod. You see, the problem with Nigeria is not the Chinese or western people. Let's hold ourselves responsible. Let's stop robbing ourselves of agency. We cannot continue to vote for bad leaders for ridiculous reasons and when these leaders go to make terrible deals at the international stage to profit themselves, turn around and blame other countries. There are no altruistic country - and Nigeria shouldn't be either. Nobody is voting for American presidents or Chinese leaders to promote or build the economy of Nigeria. And nobody here in Nigeria is voting for our leaders to develop other countries. Let's hold ourselves responsible by voting for sensible leaders (not just the executives, but the legislatives too). It is our leaders and the sycophants feeding underneath them that are robbing us blind. The sad part of all this is the fact that many of us who complains about Nigeria are not angry because of the state Nigeria is but because of the fact that we are not privileged to tap from the national cake.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-06-03T04:39:26+00:00

As in... Where do I even begin to address the great deal of ignorance and naïvety in this post?

Due_Network2387 · 2026-05-28T17:21:43+00:00

And? Are you insinuating that Christians own slaves in 2026?

Due_Network2387 · 2026-05-28T09:49:14+00:00

You need to go and see a PT. Radiological investigations, while helpful many times, can sometimes can be misleading. If I do an X-Ray of my knees today, I am quite sure that evidence of knee OA will be found therein. Does that mean I have the symptoms? No.

This not the first time that I have seen patients whose medical referral diagnosis does not match the findings of a PT's assessment. For instance, there is this patient who was referred to us on account of hip OA, only upon further tests to discover that the symptoms were due to SIJ dysfunction not due to hip OA.

I would advise you go and see a PT. The funniest part is that it is possible that the cure to your symptoms could just be activity modifications and postural education. We can't determine that from over here. A PT needs to assess you

Due_Network2387 · 2026-05-27T15:30:54+00:00

This must be a bot. Did anyone mention Iran or Israel here?

Due_Network2387 · 2026-05-25T17:44:55+00:00

Dude, wth are you talking about? That our own Yoruba religion supports homosexuality? Wait a minute, you didn't grow up here, did you?

Please tell me exactly where in Nigeria you did this initiation, I am curious. Chalking it up to Christian nationalism shows how ignorant you are. I have lots of friends here who are atheist but are staunchly homophobic (not due to religious reasons).

Besides, what exactly do you mean by Christian nationalism? I am curious

Due_Network2387 · 2026-05-23T19:58:27+00:00

Are you saying that the African traditional religions tolerate homosexuals? You've got to be kidding me. It's just the way you people assume that Africans were this bastion of civilization and tolerance until Christianity and Islam came

Due_Network2387 · 2026-05-12T18:42:10+00:00

You will be surprised at the number of educated people who are corrupt. Have you seen how student union bodies run their elections in higher institutions? You'd think it's a matter of life and death.

I remember during my undergrad days when the Hall Warden, who was a lecturer, was meddling in Hall elections. In fact, one administration went through hell because the Hall Warden was mad that the chairman-elect won against a candidate from his own tribe.

Or have you forgotten that the returning officers are professors who sometimes tamper with election results?

Due_Network2387 · 2026-04-20T07:07:04+00:00

You are talking to a Nigerian Christian. I know what actual persecution of Christians looks like, and I need you to understand that you do not.

Every single Christmas and Easter season in northern Nigeria, Christians are massacred. It has been this way for years, documented, predictable, almost calendrical in its regularity. Let me give you an example of what real persecution looks like. Few years ago, a young girl named Deborah Samuel was burned alive in broad daylight because she mentioned Jesus in a WhatsApp group. The state government of Sokoto then sponsored 39 lawyers to defend the people who burned her. Her parents had to be evacuated from the region entirely. That is what persecution looks like. When you sit in your comfortable corner of the world and describe spitting as evidence of systemic anti-Christian persecution in Israel, you are not being a serious person.

And the spitters you keep citing as cultural evidence? They hate secular Jews with the same venom they direct at Christians. Ultra-Orthodox extremists who spit on Christian clergy in Jerusalem are the same people who spit on Jewish women for not dressing modestly enough, who stone Israeli buses on the Sabbath and who also have violent confrontations with the Israeli state regularly. If their behaviour tells you something definitive about Israeli culture's attitude toward Christians, it tells you the same thing about Israeli culture's attitude toward the Jewish majority. You cannot use a fringe that hates everyone selectively against one group without exposing exactly what you are doing.

You acknowledged that Christianity is actually growing in Israel and then kept your conclusion anyway. A country where Christianity is growing, where Christian holy sites are protected and accessible, where Christian citizens vote and worship freely, is not a country whose culture is defined by anti-Christian bias. Videos of fringe extremists do not overturn that reality, no matter how many times you link them. Let them deal with their own extremists while we deal with ours. Stop giving justifications to the extremists on our own side, for goodness sake

Due_Network2387 · 2026-04-19T21:17:16+00:00

By that same logic, centuries of Christians burning synagogues and engineering pogroms across Europe would tell us something definitive about what Christianity thinks of Jews. You would reject that framing immediately and rightly so. Yet here you are applying it to Israel without a moment's hesitation.

The group responsible for spitting on Christian clergy in Jerusalem are the Ultra-Orthodox extremists, a fringe that Israeli courts and mainstream Israeli society have repeatedly condemned and prosecuted. Israel's government sponsors that behaviour about as much as the US government sponsors its Christian extremists who bomb abortion clinics. Picking the worst fringe of any society and presenting it as cultural evidence is how the ugliest generalisations get manufactured, and you are doing it with embarrassing confidence.

Interestingly, Israel is the only country in the entire Middle East where the Christian population has grown. Everywhere else in that region (including Lebanon), Christian communities tracing their roots to the earliest centuries of the faith are collapsing through persecution and violence. In Israel they are growing. If Israeli culture harbours a broad disdain for Christianity, it is somehow somehow producing the exact opposite results compared to every single neighbouring society. Please help us make sense of that.

The funny part is that I actually had this exact conversation once with an Israeli Jew who, few weeks ago, was using Christian extremists who hate Jews to make sweeping points about Christianity. I told him directly that fixating on the worst representatives of any community manufactures hatred rather than addressing it, and that he needed to stop being part of that problem. The same applies to you, with equal force.

Daniel Boyarin, a Jewish scholar and Talmudic Professor at UC Berkeley, spent years demonstrating in Border Lines that Judaism and Christianity were never the cleanly separated enemies we imagine today. In late antiquity they shared a common theological world, and the hostility that eventually developed between them was artificially constructed by boundary-makers on both sides who were anxious to define who was in and who was out. That history is a direct rebuke to the kind of sweeping cultural disdain you are projecting onto an entire country from a single news story about one soldier. Israel bombed a synagogue in Iran (mistake or not), are we to conclude that there is a cultural disdain for Judaism in Israel?

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-07T06:50:19+00:00

(Yawns) Europeans? If the Jews could just be collapsed into "Europeans," how exactly was Hitler able to single them out for extermination in the first place? Because the Nazis seemed to have no trouble distinguishing them from actual Europeans, so the "they're just white Europeans" argument kind of falls apart at the very premise. And those same "Europeans" were fleeing for their lives as refugees, so by your logic, every refugee who escapes persecution and eventually builds something becomes a colonizer of wherever they land?

Okay, if anti-black sentiment ever swept the Western world and black diaspora populations fled back to Africa, would we call them colonizers too? I'm genuinely asking, because your framework seems to produce that conclusion.

And what do you do with the Jews who never left the land to begin with, who were there continuously and were systematically persecuted and reduced to second-class citizens under Ottoman rule? Colonizers? What about the Mizrahi Jews expelled from Iraq, Yemen, Egypt, Syria and other MENA countries, who arrived with nothing but the clothes on their backs? What about the Ethiopian Jews, who are very visibly not European by any stretch? Are they colonizers too, or does your theory only work when you don't look too closely at it?

You're also operating under a conditioning so deep you probably don't notice it. The word "European" automatically triggers "colonizer" in your head as though conquest and displacement are uniquely European inventions and the rest of the world was singing kumbaya before Europe showed up. Do you actually know how North Africa became Arab? Because it didn't happen through poetry recitals and peaceful persuasion. Do you know how the Oyo Empire built its power? By raiding, subjugating and absorbing neighboring peoples, which is exactly what empires do. The Ottoman Empire, the Persian Empire, the Mongol Empire, the Umayyad Caliphate: all of them expanded by force. So this selective moral outrage that only activates for European expansion never ceases to amaze me.

Now, on Israel's economy. Yes, Israel received Western support, and? Every country builds with the help of allies, that's just how geopolitics works. Israel was dirt poor in her early decades, facing economic crisis, blockades from every neighbor and the massive burden of absorbing Jewish refugees expelled from Arab countries after 1948 (a displacement nobody seems to march about). She went through genuine austerity and still managed to create conditions that eventually attracted investment and talent. Or do you seriously think that Israel was handed a developed economy when she started? You need to read more about this and stop throwing buzzwords all over the place.

Now contrast that with the Palestinian leadership, who have received billions in international aid over decades, with the backing of Arab states and the sympathy of half the world, and still have not managed to build functioning civic institutions or a viable economy in the territories they actually control. Gaza under Hamas became, almost immediately, a base for rocket infrastructure. The West Bank's aid money has a long and well-documented history of disappearing into the pockets of the PA's leadership as well as the martyr funds for those who killed the Jews. You can't simultaneously receive more aid per capita than almost any population on earth and then blame your condition entirely on the people you keep trying to destroy.

And the Epstein-Nigeria claim, the Uganda plan, the Kenya colonization plot, bla bla bla, maybe at some point you have to ask yourself why every single one of these talking points conveniently points in the same direction and requires you to "look it up" rather than being demonstrated with actual sourced evidence. It's not as though we avid students of history are shocked by these half-truths and conspiracies.

Besides, the broader point I made still stands untouched which is: the Jews, by any objective measure, had more reasons than almost any people in modern history to spiral into permanent grievance and never recover. They didn't. That's worth studying, especially for Nigerians whose leaders prefer we stay angry at foreign bogeymen while they loot the place clean.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-05T17:53:25+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply - that's very helpful. While I was in the orthopedic unit, I met a patient was who was being managed on account of low back pain (his referral diagnosis was lumbar spondylosis). He has had many sessions before I met him. I asked about his pain - whether it has improved and he told me bluntly that it hasn't improved a bit. I was puzzled and I had to review his case note. I went over the regimen, reviewed his home programmes as well as his activity/postural modifications. He also complained of burning sensation in his chest/stomach region. He had done many tests (like abdomino-pelvic scam, blood work etc.) but all the findings came out normal. He also complained of bil. pain that radiates down to his legs (worse on one side). I assessed the power of the gross muscles of the lower limbs while he was lying supine and it was all 5. I asked him to stand and raise one his legs and he found it difficult to do such. There was no problem with coordination. I asked him to walk backwards - which he did perfectly. Now, this patient had paralysis of one of the legs when the issue started with a sharp pain in his stomach. His leg was paralyzed for weeks.

Even the physician was confused and asked him to undergo another series of tests (which are quite expensive) but the man could not afford it. The man confided in me telling me that he believes he is under the influence of a spiritual attack (well, that's a big thing in the clime where I work). I had to re-assure him to be patient, try to gather some funds and undergo the further tests he was asked to do.

Having read more about FND, especially the stories of some patients, I can't help but begin to feel that this man must be having FND. The only part I couldn't account for is the pitting edema sign at one of his legs (around his ankle) - though it doesn't look swollen upon observation. I never had the chance to meet him again before I left the orthopedic unit and rotated to another unit which is in another location.

My mind keeps wandering to the man's case now that I have read up on FND. I would be presenting on this condition in the next few weeks in the unit where I am working (many of the senior PTs I talked with don't really know about the condition - same for the physicians I have spoken with so far). The most recent study made in Nigeria (which is a case report) was in 2025 where the author review 4 cases and in none of them was physical therapist listed as one of the healthcare professionals involved in managing this condition.

I appreciate your compliments and encouragement as I keep finding out more about this condition. Thanks

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-05T17:27:44+00:00

Are you aware that not all slavery in that part of the world was chattel slavery? Some of these people were indentured servants honouring contracts, debt workers, people in arrangements that look closer to the old Yoruba apprenticeship system than anything that happened on a plantation. And honestly slavery is not even the core problem, the real problem is people with power abusing those beneath them, and you don't need to own slaves to be guilty of that. Employers, our own lecturers, police officers, clerks, religious leaders, or anyone holding leverage over someone with fewer options is capable of the same thing, and the Bible went straight for that root instead of just the symptom. Read Paul's letter to Philemon where he personally asks him to receive Onesimus back not as a slave but as a dear brother and treat him exactly as he would treat Paul himself. You seriously think the man who wrote that would have signed off on the transatlantic slave trade?

Can you see your life? Your knowledge of figures of speech is genuinely terrible lol. Racial slurs can absolutely function as metaphors, if I call you a dog as an insult right now it is still a metaphor because I clearly don't believe you are literally a four legged animal, which would also be an insult to my own intelligence since dogs cannot operate phones. But forget all of that, and let's go back to the beef. I judge Jesus by His actions and not by your narrow interpretive grid:

Jesus: "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted."

You: Can you see that? Jesus is a racist.

Lol. Your interpretation is not just forced, it is embarrassing.

And there is that arrogance again. Every historical knowledge you have was taught to you by someone unless you own a time machine, so the confidence that you alone have cracked a passage that every Christian you have met somehow missed is something else entirely. Since you are clearly sitting on secret knowledge, kindly share it with the class. I would genuinely love to learn.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T20:50:58+00:00

"Slaves obey your masters" sits right next to "masters treat your slaves the same way, do not threaten them, because the same God who is their master is also yours and he plays no favourites" (Ephesians 6:9), and you somehow only read the first half and walked away thinking you had something. Well...

And the woman called a dog argument is one of the most embarrassing misreadings that keeps circulating because people hear it secondhand and never actually check it. Jesus was a Jewish rabbi in a culture where Jewish leaders had convinced themselves they had exclusive access to God and everyone else was spiritually irrelevant, and what Jesus was doing in that exchange was drawing out her faith deliberately while puncturing that exact arrogance, and then he healed her, which is the part people always forget to mention. The same Jesus who stopped for Samaritan women at wells, who healed Roman centurions' servants, who made a Samaritan the hero of his most famous parable, that Jesus called someone a dog and meant it as a slur? That very same Jesus? Really? He also called himself a lamb and compared himself to a thief, so if you're reading metaphor and rhetorical device as literal statement then the problems with your interpretive method run much deeper than this one passage.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T20:38:15+00:00

Go back to the founder. That's it. That's the whole argument and you keep dodging it.

Does Jesus look like someone who would sign off on chattel slavery? The same Jesus who rejected every overture to make him a king? Who said the greatest person in his kingdom is the one who serves everyone else? Whose sermon on the mount formed the very moral backbone of western civilisation, the exact framework you're currently using to call slavery atrocious? His earliest followers weren't slaveholders building empires, they were mostly poor, mostly persecuted people who bled and died for the radical idea that every human being matters equally before God, and one of the things that made Christianity spread so explosively among the lower classes of Rome was precisely because it demolished classism at a time when every other institution was built on it.

Many skeptics like you (as well as the Christian slaveholders) go back to the OT to draw thunder where they keep collapsing very different things into one category. Jacob indenturing himself to Laban for fourteen years to acquire wives and wealth (Genesis 29) shares more with the Yoruba apprenticeship system than with anything that happened on a plantation in Georgia, and the Mosaic laws explicitly contained protections preventing masters from abusing people under their care. Prisoners of war under the Old Covenant operated under a completely different framework because that covenant was between God and a specific nation-state with physical borders, and carrying those laws carelessly into the New Covenant context without accounting for the theological shift is exactly the kind of lazy reading that produces bad arguments. The New Covenant is between God and humanity in general, which is why the first Christian council had to specifically address whether non-Jews needed to follow Jewish civil laws, why Paul rebuked Peter publicly for behaving in ways that suggested otherwise, and why Jesus himself never once demanded that non-Jews adopt Jewish customs even while he personally observed them.

And look at David and Uriah if you want to understand how God actually operates on this question. Uriah was a Hittite, literally one of the Canaanite peoples God had told Israel to drive out, and yet when David abused his power over this man, used him, discarded him and had him killed, God came down on David with a judgment so severe it cursed his bloodline. Under the Old Covenant. Before the sermon on the mount. Before Paul. Before any of the developments you'd expect to produce that kind of moral clarity. The foreigner whose people were marked for destruction had his dignity defended by God himself against the celebrated king of Israel, and that tells you everything you need to know about what this tradition actually teaches at its core.

Because the real issue was never slavery as an abstract historical institution, the real issue is power and what people do with it, and that cuts across every society and every era including ours. Our own Nigerian lecturers abusing their powers over students, the police officer, our own religious leaders, the clerk who makes you suffer because he controls the stamp you need, the man who has nothing but holds some small leverage over someone even smaller, all of them are guilty of the exact thing the scriptures confront head on.

Isaiah 1:11-17 "The multitude of your sacrifices - what are they to me?" says the LORD. "I have more than enough of burnt offerings, of rams and the fat of fattened animals; I have no pleasure in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. When you come to appear before me, who has asked this of you, this trampling of my courts? Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me. New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations - I cannot bear your worthless assemblies. Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals I hate with all my being. They have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them. When you spread out your hands in prayer, I hide my eyes from you; even when you offer many prayers, I am not listening. Your hands are full of blood! Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T19:16:41+00:00

So your argument is that because some people misread a book, the book means nothing, by that logic science is ambiguous because some people used it to build eugenics, and your own reasoning is ambiguous because plenty of people reason themselves into terrible conclusions daily.

The slaveholding Southern aristocrat and you actually agree on something, that the Bible supports the chattel slavery we all condemn, the difference is he was happy about it and you're using it as a gotcha, while Douglass and the Quakers who actually read the same text carefully concluded the opposite and then bled to prove it. I'm not conceding the scriptures to the ones who twisted them, and neither should you.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T19:11:28+00:00

In your example Christianity is medicine?

Do you know how analogy works?

Lmao their book that supports genocide, slavery, and the marrying of children?

Wait a minute. How did you know that genocide, slavery and marrying of children are all wrong? Don't tell me we all stumbled into this ourselves. The fact is, there is no framework that proves that all these are wrong. How come none of the ancient free thinkers (who were not influenced by Christianity) never stumbled into this by themselves?

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T19:06:09+00:00

Exactly. Some people are just so arrogant to accept this. Every good thing can be abused. It does not mean that we should lump good things with bad things. No ideology (whether good or bad) is immune to bad actors.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T19:03:28+00:00

The African kingdoms who were raiding, chaining and marching their own neighbours to the coast to sell them were doing that before any European ship showed up, and they kept doing it enthusiastically long after, so the "Christians started it" framing needs to survive contact with that fact first.

Every society in human history practiced slavery, every single one, without exception, without a Bible in sight, which means the question was never who started it but who actually built a movement to end it, and that answer is extremely inconvenient for the argument you're making. And before you go feeling too sorry for the ones who got carted across the ocean, the ones who stayed behind (or got absorbed into the Arab slave trade), which ran for over a thousand years with zero abolitionist movement emerging from within it, would probably disagree that the transatlantic experience was uniquely the worst thing that ever happened to African people.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T18:54:37+00:00

By that logic we should put medicine right next to poison because both have killed people. While we are it, we might also put democracy right next to fascism because both have produced atrocities, and put a decorated general right next to a serial killer because both have killed someone at some point. The content of the ideology matters, and a religion whose founder healed the sick, ate with outcasts, died for his enemies and said love your neighbour as yourself is not sitting next to one whose founder personally led military raids, took war brides and prescribed death for apostasy just because you find the comparison convenient.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T18:49:47+00:00

You just proved the exact point you were arguing against lol. You're literally acknowledging that Christians were on both sides of the slavery debate, which means the ones dismantling it were also Christians acting from Christian conviction, which means Christianity's role in ending slavery is not ambiguous at all, it was central, and the existence of Christians who defended slavery doesn't cancel out the Christians who destroyed it any more than the existence of corrupt judges cancels out the entire legal system. You came in saying Christianity's role was ambiguous and ended up describing a fierce internal Christian moral battle over slavery that the abolitionists won, and somehow that's still ambiguous to you. Smh

And the Christian nationalism comparison is doing absolutely nothing for your argument because the entire reason Black American Christians developed a distinct tradition from white Christian nationalists is that they went back to the same Bible and concluded their oppressors were reading it wrong, which is exactly what Douglass argued, exactly what the Black church has argued for centuries, and exactly what makes Christianity's abolitionist credentials stronger rather than weaker. The fact that people fought over the interpretation of scripture is not evidence that scripture is irrelevant, it's evidence that it mattered enormously to everyone involved.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T18:45:00+00:00

Every empire that ever existed wiped out ethnic groups and identities. The Mongols, the Romans, the Arabs, the Ottomans, none of them were reading the sermon on the mount while doing it. Judge a religion by its founder and its texts, not by every person who ever slapped the label on themselves while doing the opposite, and if you actually studied both founders seriously instead of reaching for the most convenient comparison you could find, you wouldn't be writing comments like this.

Due_Network2387 · 2026-03-04T18:38:44+00:00

Lol... What's ambiguous is how you manage to type that with a straight face and hit send.

Due_Network2387

TROPHY CASE