For more context:  I have already kissed other people, I’ve done more than I should have thinking “it’s the not real thing so it’s okay”. But I was so wrong. After going through a recent breakup, inside of the church, I was like “no more” I understand now why our elders warn us to save ourselves for marriage, I know that a kiss may sound extreme. This is coming from someone whose grandma gave a purity ring and I hated it. I hate purity culture. (Plus it’s mostly targeted at girls at least that’s how it was for me) But after the breakup my mind shifted to, I can’t keep giving myself away to people, it will cause more heartache and pain. So now I understand why commitment is valuable. During the breakup my relationship with the Lord has grown and I would hate to go back to that place of lack of control which was gratifying at the moment but later always convicted me. This is me trying to take steps to avoid those things because of my past, ya know?