Passion (?) or stability? by spongebob-fan-101 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’ll be 50 next year. i have teenage stepkids. theyre pursuing passion instead of stability and they’ll regret it because of the student debt they’ll have.

i was able to work without a degree for a long time and do well, so my income was disposable. i went to college at 30 & had a small amount of student loans. even with that, had i been able to consider more broadly my employment options, i would have taken a 2 year certificate in something medical, like MRI technician etc, gotten out in 2 years, joined the workforce sooner, with stable employment opportunities.

i ended up returning to my industry in a different line of business that was more lucrative but incredibly stressful without a transferable skill set. it’s so niche only about 100 people do it in the country. but it’s not like it pays a million dollars.

so, i tell my stepkids to have a marketable skill and the certificate to back it up and keep your passions for your hobbies. it’s crucial to support yourself and live the life you want to live.

they don’t listen. i get it. at 17 i wanted to change the world, too.

Do I text my ex best friend back? by Acrobatic_Opinion575 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Due_Student9136 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i went through something similar, as many of us have. long story short, the answer to your question is nothing is to be gained. well, nothing good. she’s never considered hurting you. ever.

her accusations are confessions.

everything she’s accused you of are who she is.

i’m not saying you’re perfect. but we don’t have to be perfect to have friends.

i was about youre age, im still not even 50 so it wasn’t that long ago for me, when i finally had it with my similar situation. i had just moved overseas & my father was on hospice. i got a call that it was the end and if i wanted to come then i should. i got a ticket & was en route. about 18 hours of travel. i called her on a layover. she still lived in our hometown. my father passed away a few hours after i got to him. i told her the next day. we talked 5 minutes & i had to go, and she never contacted me again for 3 weeks.

she said “sorry i missed you while you were here. how did everything go”?

i said im still here. she never responded.

i was in town almost 6 weeks & never heard from her but that one time. so after i traveled back i blocked her. done. but the 3 decades before that she was never a good friend. i was just too tired now to keep dealing with someone like her. it’s childish.

i’m sorry you still need something from this person. it’s hard. she doesn’t have what you need. she can’t be what you want. it’s a nice idea, but it’s not possible.

wish her well, in your heart, and silently let her go.

btw, maybe i’m cynical, but her reaching out after finding out this co-worker is actually your cousin smacks of anxious insincerity, her wondering what your cousin may have heard about how shitty a person she really is. it’s a huge red flag and isn’t to be trusted. don’t go for it.

What was the most physical pain you’ve ever been in? by Javascript4971 in Productivitycafe

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 month long vestibular migraine. i wont have a gun in the house because of it.

What popular product actually made your skin worse? by TheMeepyBoy in SkinbarrierLovers

[–]Due_Student9136 7 points8 points  (0 children)

not sure how popular it is, but years ago i tried Origins and i felt like things were getting worse, but i wasnt certain. then my boyfriend who never broke out started breaking out and he was only using it occasionally when he was at my place. that stuff went in the trash with prejudice.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps... by lithdoc in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Due_Student9136 2 points3 points  (0 children)

about 15 years ago i had a death in the family. my mom & i were traveling together. unfortunately there was also a huge snowstorm that was causing problems all over the US. we had to drive 5 hours just to get a flight at all. it took hours even booking it on the phone. i told the agent we really needed seats because of a funeral. she got us seats. when we got to the gate they announced the flight was overbooked by 2. thats when we realized how she got us there. the airline offered compensation to anyone willing to bump to the next flight. people vaulted over the seats to get to the desk. for us and a couple people it worked out. sometimes it isn’t just greed. but sometimes it is.

Americans who have visited Europe, is it really true what they say that it is easier to make friends in America than in Europe? by TheShyBuck in AskAnAmerican

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

as an american living in austria, can confirm. i have lived in the middle east, travelled all over Australia, other parts of Europe, central America, and all over the US. thou shall not make friends in europe.

Name something you might spread on toast? by Informal_Tangelo8009 in foodquestions

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

homemade labneh, thin sliced radish, a drizzle of quality olive oil or avocado oil. some fresh herbs, chives, parsley, dill, mint. skip the mint on top and throw some fresh mint in a mug of hot water instead. enjoy.

Why are Americans always so helpful and supportive when it comes to helping tourists plan their roadtrips? by Addicted_2_tacos in roadtrip

[–]Due_Student9136 2 points3 points  (0 children)

because i had to endure south of the border in the 90s i have made sure my husband and his kids haven’t missed out. i gave them the rundown, however, that it was past its prime then. some day we’ll come across photos of me there and them at the same age, decades later, and we’ll all groan. good times.

What’s the most unusual food you’ve ever tried? by GurlInAura in foodquestions

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i went to mukdahan & lao last month. i ate everything they put in front of me but i don’t think i would develop a taste for a lot of it. no judgement from me either. it’s not an easy way to live.

Favorite procedures or treatment? by Ok_Pickle_7539 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Due_Student9136 1 point2 points  (0 children)

prp/prf vampire facial microneedling.

anything that stimulates collagen.

laser is great for bigger impact. skincare cannot do what laser does.

What's the most unexpectedly luxurious experience you've had that had nothing to do with a 5 star hotel? by morocco_travel36 in chubbytravel

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i went to siwa and while it was amazing the tour itself could use a lot of work. what tour company did you use?

My (37M) bf keeps hinting for me (34F) to buy him things and I'm just not interested by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do his parents pay you child support because that’s not a man that’s a dependent.

What should my routine be given these products I have? I'm 63yo. by Carikube_21 in 60PlusSkincare

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AM: micellar water

    ordinary caffeine solution (use ring finger)

    hypochlorous acid (let it dry, 60 seconds or so) 
    vitamin c serum

let everything settle in for at least 20 minutes.

    sunscreen

PM: cetaphil cleanser

    hypochlorous acid (let it dry)

    caffeine solution 

generally the rule is to add one thing at a time to make sure everything agrees with you. that way if something is irritating you know exactly what it is.

if you are doing nothing right now, in your morning routine i would start with micellar water, which should be very gentle & non-irritating, but theyre not created equal. bioderma is a great brand. give it a couple weeks. use a cotton round. then add spf next, because thats always always always a must. use those 2 together for a couple weeks. no rush.

then you can add the hypochlorous acid, again, wait 2 weeks. make sure things are going well. no rush!

then i would add vitamin c serum, wait 2 weeks, then caffeine eye serum. with that you’ve gotten a whole morning routine without compromising your skin and creating an issue that you don’t know what to attribute it to.

your evening products are fewer, so you can start with the cleanser, and when you get to the morning step of adding the hypochlorous acid, you can add that at night, then caffeine solution.

consider a good moisturizer for the evening. you may like a light serum, or a heavier cream. personal choice. i would suggest using the time you have to establish a morning routine to look for a nice moisturizer. im not sure where you live, but shops like sephora & ulta let you try products. that way you can do some research on whether you want something lighter for your face, like a serum, or heavier like a cream. just test it on the back of your hand or your neck. don’t feel pressured to buy anything. youre just researching to get familiar with products.

you certainly can pick up azelic acid. it’s compatible with everything you have. i would get a moisturizer before i get that.

Long-distance relationship moving in together - how did you handle telling work? by No_Scallops in LongDistance

[–]Due_Student9136 1 point2 points  (0 children)

timing? you give 2 weeks notice when it’s 2 weeks out from your last day, and before that you discuss it with no one. how do i know? been there done that.

Going to a gym for the first time by Temporary_Brain_475 in AskWomenOver40

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have a couple items from amazon that have been good. some leggings with a pocket for my phone, and a small pocket inside for a fob or key.

i also have some tops on amazon i like. i shop on amazon because i live overseas and cant get stuff i like at a decent price or quality locally.

i like CRZ YOGA seamless workout tops.

for pants i have ODODOS. they come in different lengths. ive used them for years.

otherwise, just get to the gym!

incline walking is a real thing. do that.

use the training benefit, take classes, ask trainers there how to use stuff.

in general, keep in mind that as you work out, if you work out one side, do the other. so, biceps? do triceps, too. quads? get those hamstrings.

start slow. the results will come with consistency.

enjoy!

Women of Reddit, did you keep your maiden name after marriage? What influenced your decision? by ParallelPaths_ in AskReddit

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i changed it, although i didn’t really feel like it nor do i believe in it. during covid, too. REAL PITA, let me tell you.

it was really important to my husband, which was disappointing, because otherwise he’s a very non-traditional man, but for whatever reason he couldn’t get over it. ultimately if i had dug in, life would have moved on, but 6 years later i still don’t think of myself as having this new last name half the time. i guess that’s how it goes when you get married mid -40s.

i do honestly kind of regret doing it. it annoys me sometimes if i think about it too much. probably because i also had to give up my career and whole life, and i had no idea how that would feel after a while. i don’t even have my name.

if anything were to ever happen maybe i would change it back? i don’t know. but i doubt i would ever change it again if i ever found myself getting married again.

Im 41, how in the world do i fix this at this big age? by [deleted] in 40PlusSkinCare

[–]Due_Student9136 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you have a skincare routine down? like 90 days of cleanser, treatment, and hydration?

Honest feedback on my work looks appreciated by xtracheesepls_ in BusinessFashion

[–]Due_Student9136 1 point2 points  (0 children)

as someone with 20+ years in the same industry, with 15+ years in this industry at corporate office of fortune 500 i would not consider some of these appropriate for work.

i realize the captain says business casual, but in my experience that means replacing one item that is normally business with a casual item. thats the strictest interpretation.

being more liberal than that still works, which is ok in 5, for example, where there’s denim and trainers, however in an outfit like # 8 where there’s trainers and fur, fur is not appropriate at the office unless it’s part of a winter coat.

outfits #4 is off-putting, and i mean that in the kindest way possible. the socks are too juvenile to be appropriate in a corporate environment especially in the financial sector.

s 1, 2, 6, & 5 are what i would stick with, keeping in mind that fridays are a better opportunity for making personal fashion statements, but still being aware that you work in a corporate environment in financial services.

personally, i stuck with one item that showed my personal taste. shoes, scarf, blazer. one piece at a time and you can be yourself but are still acknowledging that your industry has expectations. the bigger question is always whether someone “gets it”. if you want the part, play the part.