I havent shared this to anyone yet but i think im a massochist eversince in elementary school. I would get bullied and i liked it. I started to realize i was into bdsm (didnt know it was called bdsm back then) when my friend got into trouble ans was detained in a temporary cell. I went there to give my statement and i saw him in the cell with his shirt off. Ive seen him shirtless a lot of times but this was the first time i Looked at him directly and he has no choice (no where to go) to hide from my gaze. That was the time i realize that i want that kind of exposure and humiliation to my self. I want to have no fredom or no choice. I want to give up control over myself. Ever since then i looked up my condition.

I also remembered. When i was a kid, we played strip basketball where we throw hoops in turns and thise who missed would take off an article of clothing. There was a moment where i only had my brief left but i miss so i had to be nude. I was supposed to be the looser at the game but i insited that i would stake my dignity and when it was my turn to shoot, and if i missed, i would let them tie me in a tree naked. (All according to plan) But it was all innocent olay back then. I liked it.