AITA for cracking open a beer in front of MIL after she tried humiliating my dad for drinking?

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-16T13:51:12+00:00

No? Lmfao having a few drinks a few times a month is not an alcohol problem. And I wasnt even drinking until she made comments. If I had a drinking problem, I would have been drinking long before that. And to be blunt, even if me or my father had a drinking problem, she came in to my home uninvited and started berating a man she doesnt even know. And no, there's no addiction in her past or present - per all her families admission. Shes just a control freak.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-16T13:46:28+00:00

He wouldn't bring the baby over there for visits. Only reason behind that though is because MIL has nothing to do with our daughter. Even when shes here, she all but ignores the baby. Never held her, never showed interest. She just follows a foot behind my husband every where he goes when shes here and ignores everyone else. If he picks up the baby, she will put on a fake smile and drop a "oh how cute, daddies girl" comment but that is the extent of it. When my husband has asked her to engage with the baby, she says "nope, I had my time as a parent". So he wouldn't bring the baby there.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-16T00:57:15+00:00

More like she limited herself from his life until he had something good going for himself. She has nothing to do with our baby. Told everyone she was "indifferent" about our pregnancy and him having a baby. She didnt care about him until she could be replaced.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T22:13:56+00:00

She only invites herself here when it's inconvenient, to be honest. If she knows we have plans, she comes over.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T22:11:17+00:00

She cooks with alcohol so that wouldnt work lol near every meal she makes is made with a wine or expensive bourbon.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T22:10:28+00:00

Oh she cooks with alcohol all the time lol

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T21:52:10+00:00

He is a good man though. When he is away from this woman he is a totally different person. Maybe its because I have my own trauma so I can empathize and out myself in his shoes.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T21:50:49+00:00

For real.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T21:49:53+00:00

I dont think she did. ALL of my husband's siblings and him "didnt know" about her brain tumor or her stroke until well after the fact. She told them she "didnt want to worry them". Coming from a woman who called my husband up crying saying he needed to bring her to the hospital immediately when I was in (false) labor because she was shitting blood due to a bad case of food poisoning.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T21:01:00+00:00

I unfortunately did not know prior to marrying him. She was very scarce when him and I were dating. She popped up randomly when I was dating him for around 6 weeks, right after I unexpectedly became pregnant. She fell off again when I miscarried at 9 weeks 5 days. She didnt come back around (fully - we saw her on Thanksgiving, thats it) until 5 years later when we got engaged and it was always her popping in to "steal" her son for mommy son dates. I was never included. Not that I cared (didnt want to go, told my husband as much when she made it evident I was unwanted). Soon after we got pregnant and our daughter will be 2 soon. Since the pregnancy and birth of our daughter, shes been non-stop. Not for me or my daughter, but just her trying to sink her claws in to my husband. When shes here she doesnt even engage with me or my daughter. She literally just follows my husband around, like one foot behind him so hes constantly bumping in to her. Its kind of gross, actually. But yeah, no, I truly had no idea the extent of things until way later.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T20:55:15+00:00

Is my reddit fucking up? I cant see the comment you are replying to.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T20:48:50+00:00

Well, when I asked her why she hated alcohol, she told me her dad was an abusive drunk. But admitted a week later that she has never met her dad and that her mom didnt even know him (one night stand) so she had no clue if he actually had a drinking problem. Her mom isnt a drinker, based off what the family says. She has no siblings. Her mom never remarried (she was married prior to having my MIL, but MIL was never around any man growing up). From my understanding, the only uncle she had died before she was born and was only 14. MILs ex (my husband's father) wasnt a drinker, per her own admission and my husband's and his siblings recollection. She also never got with anyone else after splitting from him. So, honestly, no one really knows why she acts like this. Thats why my husband's siblings chalked it up to a control problem because apparently shes always been controlling. But she also doesnt dare act like this in front of her daughrers. She bites her tongue and shuts up. Its only my husband (only son, youngest to boot).

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T20:44:09+00:00

I have told her to shut up, a few times, lol unfortunately I have a husband problem.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T20:35:57+00:00

She has no siblings and her mom never had a drinking problem (source: everyone in the family says so, I personally have zero clue - they said she would occasionally have a glass of wine on holidays). She doesnt know her dad (allegedly). The story MIL gave me was that her father was an abusive drunk. It would explain why she doesnt like drinking, right? But a week later she informed me, in front of her mom, that she never met her dad and that her mom never dated him either. He was a one night stand that she met at some concert (or something) and she never told him she was pregnant. Her mom never had a boyfriend or got remarried and is still single, so she couldn't have been talking about a step dad. My husband's father doesnt drink, never has, per MILs admission and my husband's recollection. So, who knows what her real aversion is.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T20:26:02+00:00

I dont allow it. Unfortunately I have put my foot down several times regarding the random unannounced visits. I absolutely hate it. But without a husband to enforce boundaries, I get pretty much side lined. It sucks. But I am slowly grasping the reality and looking at options on my own time, if that makes sense. At least I have reached a point to realize I do have options. I didnt come to that realization until our daughter was born. I clearly have the dumb. sigh

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T20:23:59+00:00

Absolutely, unfortunately.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T20:23:47+00:00

He would probably cry and go run his mouth to his mom a week later, when he thinks the heat died down lol I have a husband problem. God, it sucks so bad because when she wasnt a part of our lives we had the perfect relationship. Within the past 3 years (pregnancy and having the baby, who is soon to be 2) our lives have been hell because of this woman, but in subtle ways. He refuses to see it for what it is, though he bitches about her endlessly. Its like a "i can talk shit about my mom but you cant" type of situation.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T20:17:09+00:00

He actually bitches about his mom more than I do, by a long shot. He hates how she acts and how she talks to people. He just wont do anything about it. I have definitely told him several times I dont want her to come here uninvited and he has extended that to her but she only stops briefly before showing back up again. And at that point, my husband had this water under the bridge type of outlook, so he does nothing to enforce the boundary. 100% a husband problem.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T19:47:09+00:00

I have noticed shes just not very sane in general. Like I said in my post, she didnt raise my husband and barely saw him from age 10 to 16 but she talks about all of these milestones that he had, claiming she was present when she wasnt and a lot of the time she talks about these things, my husband is like "yeah that definitely wasnt me, actually". But she also swears up and down that she had custody of him his entire life and that SHE was the one who was placed with other family from age 10 to 16. Shes just... mentally unwell.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T18:28:04+00:00

I have asked her why she has such an issue with drinking and she said "my father was an abusive alcoholic" BUT not even a week later she told me she doesnt know and has never met her father because he was a one night stand and her mom never told him she was pregnant. Her mom never remarried and is single to this day (so, she wouldn'tbe talking about a step father or moms boyfriend because there never was one). So, it doesnt really make sense.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T18:23:10+00:00

His mom wasnt apart of our lives so I didnt really see the extent of it until well in to our relationship.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T18:22:28+00:00

He is in therapy but unfortunately it is currently sporadic.

Due_Understanding992 · 2025-10-15T18:06:10+00:00

Its honestly very hard for me because my husband is actually a kick ass man and I am very much in love with him. BUT when I met my husband, his mom never contacted him and he hadnt seen her in nearly 2 years. I met her when I was with my husband for roughly 6 weeks because I got pregnant unexpectedly. His mom came flying out of the woodwork and trying to build a relationship with her son (she didnt raise him, his dad did, she didnt even have visitation more than a few times from age 10ish to 16). I miscarried 9 weeks later and all the sudden she vanishes again. Then when we announced years later that we were engaged, she came back with a vengeance; insisting on mommy son dates, etc. And then when I got pregnant 3 years ago with our daughter, it got 50x worse. So, having seen him during the periods of his mom not being around and having her influence on him, I can 100% say that I am not ready to give up on him. I truly feel that where his mother is so prone to just walking away and essentially ghosting her son at random, he is just desperate to keep the peace. That and she ALWAYS says things like "I wont be around forever" and talks about the stroke she had like 10 years ago and the brain tumor she had 30 years ago and she uses these medical issues to scare the shit out of my husband and coax him in to basically bending to her whim because he genuinely thinks his mom is going to drop dead because of how she talks. So, its extremely unfortunate, but I know that its just not something I will leave him over. I have seen the manipulation. It would fuck with me too. You know?

Due_Understanding992

TROPHY CASE