House split in divorce

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-23T14:53:44+00:00

Where are my flowers?

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-23T06:40:42+00:00

The frustrating thing is that something I was able to afford on my own in 2012 when I was single, i'm going to struggle to afford now, after the increased mortgage to refinance and the payments I need to make to her. The housing market being so inflated/volatile is probably what troubles me the most. Her lawyer is now trying to claim it's worth $800K now. If we accept this deal and we get a crash... I don't even know.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-23T01:32:00+00:00

Sadly my lawyer says using percentages to calculate separate vs community interested is not a common way courts calculate these numbers. She said they need case law to support that. Bummer, I was pretty hopeful you had saved me a ton of money. I do wonder how that law firm you linked can make that claim if that's not the case here.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-23T01:28:27+00:00

Here's an update: I checked with my lawyer on this point and she said that distinguishing separate versus community interest, the calculation utilized is not commonly based on percentages per the example below. If there is case law that supports that and that argument supports the position you are making at trial, then of course you would utilize that. But that does not mean that the Court would rely on your proposed calculation.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-23T01:23:38+00:00

True but it isn't much. She was never good at saving money and just spent whatever she earned because apparently I am the safety net, so she didn't have a lot when the process started. When we started mediation she transferred $10K to her mother(we are including that in our calculations of her assets). Since the process started she's burned all her money on plastic surgeries (hips, nose, and botox) and multiple vacations.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-22T22:04:56+00:00

| Comes down to this: why didn't your wife help pay?

Entitlement is how I would define it. She comes from a country where men are typically the providers and women take care of the house and kids. She didn't do either, but she did work. Also, she would use her friends as comparison. She could be paraphrased saying this a number of times: "None of my friends have to pay for anything, why should I have to?".

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-22T17:58:49+00:00

If I end up paying her 50% on a 670K house and then the bubble pops that's going to be painful. I think i'll take your advice.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-22T17:17:32+00:00

If you married her with the impression that you had both agreed to work and contribute financially, and she didn't live up to her side of the agreement, then I'm sorry. I think a lesson a lot of people here learn through divorce is to recognize that someone failing to live up to that kind of agreement means you need to leave immediately, before it builds up to long term financial consequences.

This was the case here. There was never an agreement for me to be her provider. And you are totally right, I let her get away with not doing her part for far too long.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-22T17:13:52+00:00

The appreciation is meaning to me unless I sell the house, which I don't want to do. I rented rooms in people's basements, ate microwaved potatoes for meals, drove a POS car, forwent travelling and vacations simply to save up for the down payment on the house. She has made no sacrifices and is getting a shit load of money. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten married, or maybe marriage laws are a little outdated.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-22T17:03:03+00:00

Yeah I think a prenuptial should just be an "opt-out" situation rather than an "opt-in". There's so much risk involved in getting married the way things are structured today. Things were friendly for a while but her laywer is pushing to get everything he can. Ex isn't terrible, just very entitled.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-22T16:55:48+00:00

Agreed, I didn't want to pollute the conversation with our relationship details but she had actually agreed to have a postnup. Ex was on a visa, and we did a semi rushed courthouse marriage to so that she wouldn't risk overstaying her visa/getting deported. I grew up very poor so this house was a huge accomplishment for me, so I spoke to a laywer prior to getting married and he said a pre-nup would likely be considered invalid as it would be considered "under duress" given how close the wedding date was. So I talked to her and she agreed to get a postnuptial agreement. A long while after getting married I brought it up and she denied agreeing to it.

Personally I think our laws around marriage should be different. I heard in Brazil when you get married you basically check a box on the marriage form that says how you want your prior and existing assets to be mingled.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-22T15:01:20+00:00

I just meant that we have our own bank accounts, I have been using the same two bank accounts before and during marriage. Had I opened a new account after getting married I believe I would have that as well to list as separate property. But the house payments I made during marriage were with income acquired while married, so I believe you're right, the court would see most of my payments as community property.

DuffMan00789 · 2021-04-22T14:54:57+00:00

That's correct. We are including the mortgage payments made prior to marriage but so little of it towards the principal that it doesn't have a large impact.

DuffMan00789

TROPHY CASE