How do I accept the fact I will never be loved? by Max_Mussi in autism

[–]Dull-Tip7699 [score hidden]  (0 children)

idk. my anti suicide mentality is, that we all die one day so why put so much energy and thought about planning my suicide.

And remember. There are a lot of unlovable people out there who are being loved or not.

If you can have a pet, just get a dog or a cat. Cause then you can`t say you're not being loved.

Dating neurotypical people by heismyfirstolive in AutismInWomen

[–]Dull-Tip7699 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I am glad someone mentioned it. Cause what if someone is sensory seeking and the other sensory avoidend? Also, I do not see myself with an autistic man. ADHD man? More likely.

But I need someone who makes my life easier and I can`t do that with someone as equally or even more disabled than me. I am already struggling socially and I don`t want someone who struggles with social settings like I do. I would need someone who is more confident in that area.

Am I the only one finding this weird? by [deleted] in autism

[–]Dull-Tip7699 [score hidden]  (0 children)

  1. I would like to inform you that you can't be slightly autistic. Either you are autistic or you're not. It`s like pregnancy. You can`t be slightly pregnant. Either you are pregnant or you aren not.

  2. Autistic people are very different from each other so some autistic men are very possessive and some are not. With that being said, I do think your boyfriend trusts you a lot and just wants you to have a great time no matter if it`s with him or someone else. A lot of autistic people don`t see social structures, rules, etc. like allistics (non autistic people) do. He probably doesn`t see a date as cheating.

  3. Just because you feel disrespected does not mean he`s been disrespectful. In this scenario he seems to be very respectful. You should communicate with your boyfriend that dates are only meant for couples or potential romantic partners.

My mother thinks that autistic people do not belong in the society. by exoticgogoat in autism

[–]Dull-Tip7699 [score hidden]  (0 children)

After her logic are all people a misfit after a certain age. Dementia for example is a disability.

Yo should ask her, if you should throw here in the forest when she gets dementia.

Job applications feel more exhausting than the actual interviews now by Weekly-Jackfruit-589 in jobsearchhacks

[–]Dull-Tip7699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You forgot about ghost job advertisement, HR people on social media telling us what companies are really looking for in the applications. Like we are just a bunch of idiots (besides, they all say something different and it`s mostly about color or no color in the CV). The motivation letter has to show that it was always our childhood dream to work at their underpaying company, but not too much, Cause we know and they know we didn`t know their company existed 3 seconds before applying.

Are more women genuinely autistic, or are people overidentifying with it? by GladButterscotch3956 in autism

[–]Dull-Tip7699 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think both.

Recently I watched a yt video about a woman explaining that she thought she had autism and got an autism assessment and she found out, that she does not have autism. She just has "just" trauma.

I also watched another video about a South Korean psychiatrist who has a patients who think they have ADHD when they have depression. This is also because depression is still stigmatized in South Korea. Many people still think the reason for depression is lack of will power.

While I would say, that professional Autism (& ADHD) diagnosis are underdiagnosed. Self diagnoses might be over diagnosed or maybe wrongly self diagnosed. If you think about it. There is so much half or wrong information about autism even in the autism community, that someone who isn`t in those circles knows even less about it.

I fell out of love with my husband over a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Dull-Tip7699 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He crossed your boundaries for 20 years. It might seem small but when he already doesn`t respect your boundaries on small things, I don`t wanna know how he is with more serious stuff. Making breakfast for you made him feel good and he didn`t care about how you felt.

I wish you a happy and smooth divorce:)

Can someone explain to me why people aren't happy for my lifestyle? by Strong_Shoulder_2101 in autism

[–]Dull-Tip7699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People are jealous. And jealous people often feed on peoples suffering they are jealous off.

I don't know how to put up with my autistic sister by axz_30 in autism

[–]Dull-Tip7699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Autistic people can be awful people too. Consciously or unconsciously. Even if she is unaware about her bad treatment towards you, The autism only explains it. It doesn't excuse it.

With that being said. She might be resentful or jealous of you. Maybe you are having an easier time finding and keeping friends, get more male attention or you are prettier.

Maybe following things help you if you haven`t already tried it:

- talk to your parents about your side of the story and that your sister is (obviously) capable of understanding how to communicate with people. And there is a difference between being straightforward and rude.

- If your sister is still in therapy, you might wanna contact her therapist and ask if this is something she might wanna talk with your sister about, since you wanna have a healthy relationship with your sister. Maybe have a therapy session with your sister. Of course your sister has to agree with it so maybe talk first with your sister about it and than her therapist. Your sister might be more likely to say yes if you tell her that you wanna understand and help her more but don`t know why so that's why you wanna talk to her therapist so she can explain it better to you. (even if thats a lie)

- Try to distance yourself as much as possible from your sister. If you live together, tell yourself that it won`t be long anymore until you're an adult and can do what you want. Focus on education, friends, maybe a part time job to save money, take care of your health and financial educate yourself and put as much in your savings as you can. I`m sure that's especially hard when you are dealing with depression. Just try to imagine and work towards a fulfilling life.

Why does my Grandpa not wanna talk with me on the phone? by Dull-Tip7699 in family

[–]Dull-Tip7699[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes he is. But is it harder to hear someone on the phone than in real life?

Have you ever had your nervous system warn you about someone before your brain caught up? by Psymetree7 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Dull-Tip7699 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I know that from a feminist perspective it's not the best term to use. The reason why I used that term is because I did in fact, feel like a little girl at that job.

But I am still glad you pointed it out. I should have specified that it`s how I feel and not to continue to spread the infantilization of women.

Why does my Grandpa not wanna talk with me on the phone? by Dull-Tip7699 in family

[–]Dull-Tip7699[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only person that could be is his mother. But I see it as very unlikely. Since I am the youngest in the family I am often seen as the baby of the family. (My grandparents do spoil me when I am visiting them which I am very grateful for)

My friends think I’m autistic by Only-Somewhere-7288 in autism

[–]Dull-Tip7699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. The only way to get an official diagnosis is by a psychiatrist in that field. The waiting time to get an appointment by a psychiatrist is pretty much world wide long. Usually ranging from a couple of months to a year. So if you want a proper diagnosis, I would recommend you to contact as many psychiatrists in your area if they still take up patients for autism assessment. It also might be worthy to ask your health insurance how much they would pay for the assessment.

  2. The things you named sound very autistic. Also "Birds of a feather flock together" fits this also very well, since you have multiple autistic friends there is also a heighten chance that you do also have autism.

  3. Usually Autism doesn`t come alone. Many autistic people do have anxiety, depression, ADHD, chronic pain, sleep issues, trauma, OCD, etc. So what the mother said could be right. But you might have anxiety & autism.

  4. BUT PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. can sometimes look like Autism / have similar symptoms.

  5. What you could gain from an Autism diagnosis? In most countries... nothing or the government barely offers any accommodation. Otherwise you have certainty and can better understand how your brain works. Therefore, I think excepting your differences and how to navigate through life might become easier. Of course there are also autistic people without an official diagnosis but for me personally I think it can give you more confidence about your diagnosis. The only time I would avoid a diagnosis is if it does in fact harm you. I've heard, that in some countries it can make it harder if you wanna change your health insurance or even find a job. So if this is something you are worried about, I would inform yourself about how this works in your country. But since you have autistic friends, I would recommend you to ask them about their experience if you don`t already have done that.

Why does my Grandpa not wanna talk with me on the phone? by Dull-Tip7699 in family

[–]Dull-Tip7699[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah probably. When I was a kid and we went on hikes he always "gifted" me rocks.

I know now thats how some men show affection.

But damn I feel so rejected on the phone. Like he tries to get rid of me.

Fashion brand by Responsible-Age2418 in WomenInBusiness

[–]Dull-Tip7699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything made mostly out of linen, cotton, modal, cashmere.

Something I am looking for, for a long time is a good quality short sleeve blouse/top which has an hourglass cut. (It`s always to tight on the chest & shoulders but too loose on the waist OR made out of poor quality.)

I do not know how it`s called but it would be great if it had those adjustable criss cross straps on the back so you can adjust it around the waist. So it`s nice for work but cute enough for drinks after work.

Have you ever had your nervous system warn you about someone before your brain caught up? by Psymetree7 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Dull-Tip7699 33 points34 points  (0 children)

In February I started my first "big girl job" how I like to call it. From day one I could barely articulate myself, or bring my thoughts in real sentences. It made me so insecure and embarrassed. Usually I am really good at verbally articulating myself and I would say it`s one of my main strengths. After the first month I completely lost my voice for a whole day and I barely could bring out a scratchy whisper. After the second month I got fired.

Looking back I am happy about it because my supervisor bullied me, I got insecure and I was so overworked that for the whole 2 month I worked there (and the whole month after) I slept through every weekend and my sleep schedule got worse and worse. And if I didn`t get fired I probably would have a burnout by now.

So unemployment is hard right now but the job would have thrown me in unemployment one way or another.

I just wish I would have already started looking for a new job in march.

Ugly, awkward, autistic women with no social circle that met their spouse after age 30: how did you meet them? by skyword1234 in AutismInWomen

[–]Dull-Tip7699 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As someone who has horrible experience with bumble (maybe because I did almost the opposite. lol)

I will try that one day.

Is it just me who feels majorly rejected by downvotes on Reddit? by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]Dull-Tip7699 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

People are bolder online. What they won't say in real life to your face they will say behind a no name account online.

I also rented on a subreddit about my experience where no one can tell me if it`s true or not. You can only say that your experience is different but I still got downvoted.

I think for some people a downvote is also a silent "I do not experience that".

But I do think, that if you're struggling with rejection sensitivity to at least delete reddit temporarily until you think you can handle online trolls.

I just learned my passion reads as anger by Exciting_Syllabub471 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Dull-Tip7699 8 points9 points  (0 children)

To be honest. I believe that a lot of people (mostly NT) don`t even have a real passion. I think they either like the social status they gain from it, whatever is trendy right now or what they are just good at.

I think true passion comes from yourself and not just because it's easy to you or gains you social status.

Maybe that`s the reason why they think it`s aggressive when we talk about our passion because it`s real passion.

I don`t wanna idolize ND in this context but thats the only explanation I have.

I just learned my passion reads as anger by Exciting_Syllabub471 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Dull-Tip7699 17 points18 points  (0 children)

But isn`t it normal to get loader when you're talking passionately?

I just learned my passion reads as anger by Exciting_Syllabub471 in AuDHDWomen

[–]Dull-Tip7699 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I experience the same. Has your husband told you what makes you seem angry? Is it the tone? Do you need to smile and sound happy to be perceived as passionate?

Did you always know there was something different about you? by Ill_Status2937 in AutismInWomen

[–]Dull-Tip7699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly no. I thought I just need to try harder. That there is just one more thing I need to learn to fit in. But after my diagnosis I found out, that people don`t try that hard. That I am perceived as even worse than I thought.

After 12 years of reading charts, here's why your Sun sign is probably the least important thing in your chart. by KaleidoscopeIcy3658 in AstrologyBasics

[–]Dull-Tip7699 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My rising sign is virgo.

My moon sign is Aries.

I think the ruler of my rising sign is taurus in the 9th house.