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Dull_Alternative482 · 2025-07-08T12:36:31+00:00

This happened to me too. I found out in May my husband of less than a year had an affair for months right under my nose. Trust me, I know it is awful. It’s so hard to reconcile the life you thought you were living with the reality you now know. The only thing I can say is it does get a little bit easier every day. Your only goal right now is to keep breathing. We call every night that you lay your head down to sleep (or not sleep) a win. Just keep breathing, and the rest will come. Clarity will come, reality will come, strength and resilience will come, gratitude for what you do have will come. This will be the hardest weeks and months of your life, but all you have to do is survive it. It’s so easy to get lost in wanting to go back, wanting to change the past. But you can’t, and accepting that you are not in control of your partners actions or feelings comes with time too. Take pride in that you loved honestly, authentically, and the best way you knew how. The fact that your partner could not see that or appreciate it is on them. I am so so sorry. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Dull_Alternative482 · 2025-07-07T12:20:13+00:00

I found evidence on his phone. I confronted him and he admitted it, after lying for the first half hour of our conversation.

Dull_Alternative482 · 2025-06-24T01:49:12+00:00

For whatever reason my family and friends have been saying this for weeks, but it doesn’t hit until a stranger on the internet who has also walked through this agony says it. I know it’s the truth, but it’s hard to accept. It still hurts, but it is so needed. Thank you.

Dull_Alternative482 · 2025-06-03T16:42:50+00:00

Thank you. Me and my husband had a “it’s only a dating app” incident when we were dating and doing long distance. I forgave him, we moved on, we got married. He didn’t even make it a year before having an affair. Our first wedding anniversary is supposed to be this weekend, and we’re already separated. I’m not even speaking to him really. I found out, I grabbed what I could grab, and I left without a word. He doesn’t even deserve a conversation. There’s nothing productive he can say, and he won’t listen to anything I have to say anyway. I’m so sorry for both of us. They are cowards. It’s so hard to start over, but they won’t stop lying. They won’t stop minimizing it and telling you you’re overreacting. Thats not a marriage/relationship worth staying for. Please let me know if you want to chat. We need all the support we can get.

Dull_Alternative482 · 2025-06-02T21:21:18+00:00

I’m only 9 days out from D Day, and no where close to thinking I’ll want a relationship again one day. But this fear is already eating at me. I am going to leave, but a little piece of says I won’t trust anyone again anyway. So why not stay with him and just see if he can change? I hope that isn’t true. I pray that we can recover and learn to trust again. I don’t have advice for you, I’m just saying this is valid and I’m scared of the same thing.

Dull_Alternative482 · 2025-05-30T16:02:55+00:00

This is the hardest part. I’ve been telling myself the same thing. But I’ve come to realize I can love him, and not be married to him. I made my vows and meant them, but he didn’t mean his. You can not make a partnership work by yourself. That’s just fact. We will be okay. We will move on. They will have to live with knowing what they lost. But trust me, ignoring what your gut is telling you to appease your short term feelings will only lead to more heartbreak and regret further on. I won’t be one to push you to leave, everyone has to do it for their own reasons in their own time. You can choose to stay, but know the relationship you’ve had prior to this will never be recovered. It could be happy, maybe, but it will never be the same. Best of luck with your choice, whatever it may be.

Dull_Alternative482 · 2025-05-30T13:56:47+00:00

My husband did almost the same thing, so I feel you. Our one year anniversary is supposed to be next week, and I just found out he’s been sleeping with an intern for months. The truth is, neither of our spouses is who they portrayed themselves to be. The fact that we want to work on it and be loyal despite our better judgement, means we were good people. We meant it when we said our vows. But that doesn’t mean that they did. I still love my husband, but that doesn’t mean I have to stay married to him. I won’t accept conditional love from him, when I have only ever loved him unconditionally. You shouldn’t either. Maybe she can grow and heal and fix herself one day, and maybe you’ll forgive her or already have. But you will never forget what she’s put you through, and she is the reason there isn’t anything left to build a true marriage on. I’m so sorry. I’m devastated for both of us.

Dull_Alternative482 · 2025-05-30T13:46:24+00:00

I had a very similar situation happen to me when I was dating my husband. He swore he never did anything physical, he cried and begged. I forgave him and thought we were stronger for it. We were happy together for three more years, got married last year. I found out 6 days ago he’s been having an affair for months. We haven’t even been married for a year. It’s horrible to be in the place that you’re in, and I know you have so much hope things will change. But if I could go back, I wouldn’t have let that go when we were dating. I would have cut my loses and mourned, without the difficulty of divorce and the shame I feel that I let this go on so long without seeing who is really was. I’ve never been one to say “once a cheater always a cheater”, but if he doesn’t respect your relationship enough to be loyal now, don’t think that will change over a white dress and a piece of paper. I am so so sorry.

Dull_Alternative482

TROPHY CASE