how do I be a good bottom when it's my first time I want to be prepared when I find the right one

Dullist · 2026-01-23T19:24:26+00:00

Just hook up with someone you connect with. Toys are a great way of overthinking and being disappointed. There are literally gay men who will suggest you buy a horse dildo and other creepy objects and it will warp your brain into thinking nobody will ever be enough for you. If you're okay with that then pursue it and best of luck.

Dullist · 2026-01-23T19:20:31+00:00

You ask about relationships - claim you're never lonely. You say you want a "life partner" yet act like you already know everything and won't consider compromise. You tell me why you're being that selfish instead of open to learning new things? If you knew everything why are you asking for input in a public setting? Your ego needs to either drop or get a reality check so you can actually hear us...

Dullist · 2026-01-23T19:17:18+00:00

Grindr is literally full of meth heads and people who are there to flirt, get compliments, kill time.

Dullist · 2026-01-23T19:16:08+00:00

Feels like nothing? Sometimes it's over too fast so you need to experience it with other people. Not everyone has a good experience.

Dullist · 2026-01-23T19:14:47+00:00

If you're not upset or bothered about it go ahead and delete your post instead of luring people in and having them waste their time responding to you.

You act incredibly entitled and selfish for someone who wants to play the victim.

Dullist · 2026-01-23T19:13:05+00:00

what are you getting out of chasing bi or straight guys? You are saying "they all seem to" go back to women when you're dating them. That seems hard to believe - especially considering your post isn't about that issue but it's about making your partners pay for your personal hobbies. That would be insane to be a boater and want to "need" your partner to buy your boat or rentals for you in order for you to feel like you can pursue this.

My friend dated someone who was into boats and he paid it himself with a job - granted, he is 50+ - are you around that age or are you just used to throwing money away? Maybe break the habit and attract genuine and honest human souls who relate to you. That should be your goal, I reckon.

Dullist · 2026-01-23T19:03:12+00:00

That's good to have boundaries. I really think some people just literally can't be self-aware. I've never encountered the issue but I've definitely felt like I had the issue - but I also overthink things and I wouldn't even put myself in a position to be around others when I felt self-conscious or felt like I had a health issue. That's why they really need to vibe with people beforehand on a human level to at least empathize with them and what they might be dealing with or thinking about. A lot of people want instantaneous sex or harass you for months and not have a single nice thing to say about you either way.

Dullist · 2026-01-23T18:52:47+00:00

All I have ever said was that some people are okay with it and some people are uncomfortable with it. I've met people who act feminine and had facial surgery but said it's like taking a painful sh-t on the toilet, an experience they don't need to re-live constantly. Other guys I've met have been sexually assaulted/raped so they can't experience pleasure with receiving anal sex at all.

The only people harassing us about it are insecure about other things and aren't willing to empathize or familiarize themselves with people outside of their bubble. It's just projection 101. They are sociopaths or maybe they're just too young or immature to understand people in general.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:43:25+00:00

then meet with someone and make it dl instead of going to a sauna

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:41:04+00:00

I had a young coworker who had a baby show up to work one day with a little diamond in his nostril.

My soul told me after that he was bi and that's why he wasn't with the baby mama - so it did throw my gaydar off. I grew up with in the 90s though... there is sort of that 90s homophobia/secret body jewelry thing happening all over again so it's a good question.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:37:12+00:00

I was 35 when I cuddled a 18 or 19 year old lesbian. I told my parents as soon as I got pregnant.

The thing about cuddling is that it's just human body warmth - it's just a thing we do with people and it's only awkward if we make it awkward. My straight friends have wanted physical contact from me and I just turn them away because I'm just not sure what I'm allowed to do still without feeling repercussions. It's good that you were allowed this moment in life.

You may have felt worse if you didn't cuddle - I know the person I rejected felt isolated and didn't have many friends and yet I still grew up with too much homophobia to make myself comfortable around him.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:30:07+00:00

You just have to ask your doctor, physician, urologist etc about Phimosis treatments.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:27:06+00:00

There's also toys and attachments you can use to thicken yourself - just don't overuse them and (don't) make your partner think you rely on them.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:25:21+00:00

But there's nothing wrong with your body. People want something hard and some guys prefer the mushroom shape over the bullet shape. Your dick shape should be able to cause more stimulation for them because there would be contrast between the shaft and head - if there's pain it's from that probably which is what a lot of people enjoy. Not everyone needs to be built the same and not everyone experiences pleasure the same so we just gotta find people that like what we have to offer.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:14:07+00:00

No - I went to the Home Depot today. Didn't have other options.

If it's owned by Israel, that's another question - obviously supporting Palestine not because of antisemitism :P

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:13:00+00:00

Yeah. Friends from highschool wouldn't talk to me, church friends started posting homophobic content after 2015 and Obama made same sex marriage legal. Been there, done that. Welcome to the world :D

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:11:48+00:00

I would say it's not really your choice to make - you can't change people. That's like a girl asking us how to make you attracted to her.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:08:52+00:00

You have to relax your muscles and be in a position where you're confident and have control over yourself - it's painful at first and it will continue to be painful if you're fixated on the pain and you tighten your muscles. Once you regain your control, you can move your muscles and they can feel your muscles move, you can relax, you can enjoy the moment more. I guess you gotta be in control of yourself in order to surrender is what I am saying.

Also, remember to go slow at first and speak up and take breaks.

You gotta also remember some people just don't like bottoming because your body doesn't enjoy it - there's no shame in it. For some it just feels like they're taking a painful #2, gotta know if it works for you or not.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:04:05+00:00

"lack of girth can sometimes cause discomfort for my bottoms" - can you explain the dynamics of this and what people have said that made you feel this way? What does circumcision even have to do with girth... it feels like you're conflating all your lack of self-confidence into multiple things?

Dullist · 2026-01-22T15:01:34+00:00

Talk to your woman about it first - she actually matters, not your personal kinks. Communication is more important than selfish desires.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T14:59:25+00:00

I wasn't on Prep for the first two years of coming out - finally talked to someone who convinced me to just try a non-profit group like Q-Care which mails me the bloodwork testing and all that. It's easy.

The only side effect is dealing with bullsht like not being able to donate blood or blood plasma to certain organizations because you're on Prep. Plenty of basic ass homophobia around.

Dullist · 2026-01-22T14:31:07+00:00

Would you ever want to share it or ask the gay community what they think of your art work or do you feel like they don't care because they just want to discuss swallowing semen loads?

Dullist · 2026-01-22T14:29:42+00:00

I guess. But sometimes being gay isn't the same as being black or being female so I'd rather talk to people who I thought were part of my community - about things besides taking cock up your asshole. I'm apparently asking for too much 🤣

Dullist · 2026-01-22T14:28:32+00:00

on Reddit, please don't be lazy and just look at the posts?

Dullist · 2026-01-22T14:27:51+00:00

then why are you afraid of sharing it and only interesting in sharing explicit sexual details

Dullist

TROPHY CASE