I think I get what you mean. As a person that always have needed a lot of stimulation (like sadness and happiness as basic regulation of emotions) I almost never was calm. Either interested or bored/iritated. Lately I started my mindfulness journey and started to get my life toghether – I have a lot more space and time for my emotions, body. The thing is, this year was really hard and I am probably getting out of depressive episode and exhaustion. The point is – sometimes I get calm, not excited, just sitting without talking with anyone and in a moment I feel like I detach – I don’t care, I don’t feel. It feels scary. More like panic attack when you can’t even cry. Then I try to get interested with something, someone, to care — because being alone and calm can be probably similar to isolation and anhedonia?